China Trip Day #7 - Matteo's Adoption Finalized

We finalized Matteo’s adoption with the Chinese authorities this morning.  We went back to the same Civil Affairs office we met Matteo in yesterday and we signed some more paperwork, had a brief “interview” with a government bureaucrat (when we were asked what date we married, it took three tries between Chris and me to get the date right!) and then Matteo pressed his hand with red ink onto the adoption certificate.  It would have been an otherwise quick process except that there were four other families adopting (another American family and three Italian families) and we had to wait our turns for paperwork to be processed and for the notary to appear.  When it was all said and done, Matteo’s adoption was the 14^th this year from Anhui province.  Last year, about 200 adoptions to families all over the world took place in Anhui alone.  

The two women from the Fuyang orphanage who drove Matteo to Hefei were back again today.  Matteo knows them, but not very well, but they nonetheless fussed over him and took many pictures of him and our family throughout the morning.  We had dressed Matteo in American clothes and they told our guide to tell us we needed to dress him more warmly.  I had our guide translate back that we come from a state where it’s not unusual for snow to cover the ground continuously for four straight months, so we’re confident we have him dressed adequately.  Even our guide couldn’t believe it when I told her how much snow Minnesota can get.  Do you drive when that happens, she asked.  Everyone is in a bit of a tizzy this week because Hefei is supposed to get snow, which rarely happens. We're clearly dealing with different definitions of what defines cold.

 

Then the women from the orphanage saw the top of a diaper sticking out from Matteo’s pants and wanted to investigate what he was wearing.  Through our guide they told us he doesn’t like to wear diapers.  We had to explain that he’s wearing a diaper because we had no idea he would be potty-trained and we hadn’t brought him any underwear.  The diaper is also security for us, because we have no idea when he has to go.  We haven’t heard him talk yet, (he’s most likely still shell-shocked) and the women from the orphanage didn’t know what his signals are either. Until we can find some 2T underwear, he'll continue to wear a diaper.  

What we did learn on the subject of toileting is that because Matteo’s foster family didn’t have a toilet, but knew he was going to be adopted, they showed him how to use one whenever they visited the orphanage.  It sounds like such a small thing, but that showed incredible foresight on the host parent's part, and has been so helpful for us as he transitions to our family (and Western practices). 

All the formalities of this morning were lost on Matteo.  He just wanted to play with his cars and color.  And for us, seeing him show an interest in playing and interacting with us was wonderful to see.  What a difference 24 hours make.  We have a long way to go to fully gain his trust, but the baby steps we’ve seen has been so encouraging to us as parents.  We’ve gotten a lot of smiles out of him and even a laugh or two.  He’s been silent since we met him, but today while playing with cars, he voiced what I assume is the Mandarin equivalent of “vroom, vroom.”  

Meanwhile, Matteo slept for over 11 hours last night and has shown a bigger appetite today compared with yesterday when pretty much all he ate was a couple of snacks.  He likes his new sippy cup we got him, but interestingly, he has shown zero interest in his bottle.  That’s fine with us since we’re not used to giving two-year-olds bottles of formula, but I wonder why he abruptly cut himself off. 

He has started to show a preference for Chris, which is a sign of healthy attachment, as it shows us he's learning to trust.  While I understand psychologically what's going on, it's hard on my heart.  Matteo has started to whimper if Chris leaves his sight and whimpers if I hold him, even when he can still see Chris.  As hard as it is to feel a little left out, it is so heart-warming to watch father and son interact.