Our home study is finished! We can check the first big milestone in the adoption process off our list. Although there are many more steps ahead of us, finishing the home study feels not only like an accomplishment (even if a small one on an otherwise long road), but like adopting a child is really going to happen.
The next two steps occur simultaneously - I-800 approval and dossier completion. We'll get started working on our dossier, which is a set of legal documents we'll send to the Chinese adoption authorities. Because of the volume of paperwork involved, this process is often referred to in the adoption world as the "paper chase."
But before our dossier can go to China, we need approval from the United States Citizen and Immigration Services (USCIS) of our "Application for Determination of Suitability to Adopt a Child from a Convention Country," or the I-800A. Oh, and before we could mail in our I-800A, we had to wait for copies of our approved home study to arrive from our agency since the home study has to accompany the I-800A. The timeframe on approval from Immigration is unpredictable, so as recommended, we sent our I-800A the day after we received our home study. You can probably start to see how the adoption process is not simply a checklist of tasks needing to be completed, but really a puzzle of tasks that need to fit together in a certain order with one step contingent upon one or multiple previous steps.
At least while we wait on the I-800A, we can collect the documents needed for our dossier. With the government shut-down and the later-than-anticipated completion of our home study, I'm not sure if we'll make my original goal to send our dossier to China by Christmas, but there's no reason to do anything but keep plugging ahead.
Kiera, Matteo, Oliver and Soren
Showing posts with label Home Study. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Home Study. Show all posts
Tuesday, October 8, 2013
Friday, September 6, 2013
Home Study #3
I understand the purpose and importance of a home study, but as we finally near its completion, I'm left feeling the reality of the process is that much of it is a waste of time. I do believe there's a better way to find a flexible balance between ensuring children are placed with stable families and that those families aren't overly burdened by the process or completely turned off to adoption all together. Unfortunately, I don't have suggestions of how to make the process more meaningful.
We had our third and final home study visit yesterday. Although the first two visits had allowed more than enough time for the social worker to tour our home, meet our kids, interview Chris and me as a couple and then conduct separate interviews with each of us, yesterday's visit occurred simply because state law requires a home study to consist of three meetings with both parents present. Any opportunity we have to spend with our social worker isn't completely wasted time, as I enjoy talking with her and learning more about adoption and our projected timeline, but I find it frustrating to have to participate in processes that have no real purpose. There Chris and I were taking yet more time off work at an inconvenient time (10:00 a.m.) so our social worker could check off a box in the home study process. I understand the need for at least one interview at our home with both parents present so the social worker can see where we live and how we interact as a family, but why does it necessarily need to be three visits if everything can be accomplished in two visits? Why can't some of the interviews be conducted over Skype?
One of the most ridiculous scenarios we've experienced thus far in the adoption process occurred when our social worker handed us a new guardian form. China requires us to name a guardian for our adopted child and Chris's brother was the obvious, well, the only choice in our minds, since he's who we have already named as guardian for Oliver and Soren. Our social worker informed us that because the Chinese authorities would frown upon a non-married male under the age of 30 being named as guardian, we needed to name someone else. It didn't matter who we put down, as the form didn't need to match our will and it isn't a legally binding document. Anything can derail an adoption and the agency didn't want it to be this.
Chris and I conferred briefly and then wrote down the names of a friend of mine who'd written a reference letter on our behalf and her husband. After we rewrote and signed the form, I panicked when I realized that my friends' two kids, Oliver, Soren and our third child would equal five kids - living in what's effectively a two-bedroom house. Our social worker assured us that no one would actually be visiting our new guardians' home, let alone verifying that these friends actually exist. Since the Chinese government can't dictate who actually becomes the guardian of a child legally yours once the adoption is complete, wouldn't a more effective approach to looking out for the best interests of the child have been requiring that prospective adoptive parents have a will and have named a guardian?
I happened to see that friend that evening. She asked how the home study visit had gone. I informed her that in the eyes of the Chinese government, she and her husband would be the guardians of our children. I think that was the last thing she expected to hear! I promised her that our life insurance policies would buy her expanded family a bigger house.
Our social worker expects to have a draft of our home study to us by September 20 for Chris and me to review. After we've verified all the information is accurate, she'll forward it to the national office for approval, which takes about another week. I'm hoping we'll have it approved by the end of September!
The next big steps in the application phase it to mail our I-800A application to Immigration to request preliminary approval to bring an adopted child into the country. While we wait on approval, we can work on our dossier. Once the I-800A has been approved and the dossier completed, we'll be able to mail the dossier to China. I'd love to have that mailed before Christmas. At that point, the real waiting will begin.
We had our third and final home study visit yesterday. Although the first two visits had allowed more than enough time for the social worker to tour our home, meet our kids, interview Chris and me as a couple and then conduct separate interviews with each of us, yesterday's visit occurred simply because state law requires a home study to consist of three meetings with both parents present. Any opportunity we have to spend with our social worker isn't completely wasted time, as I enjoy talking with her and learning more about adoption and our projected timeline, but I find it frustrating to have to participate in processes that have no real purpose. There Chris and I were taking yet more time off work at an inconvenient time (10:00 a.m.) so our social worker could check off a box in the home study process. I understand the need for at least one interview at our home with both parents present so the social worker can see where we live and how we interact as a family, but why does it necessarily need to be three visits if everything can be accomplished in two visits? Why can't some of the interviews be conducted over Skype?
One of the most ridiculous scenarios we've experienced thus far in the adoption process occurred when our social worker handed us a new guardian form. China requires us to name a guardian for our adopted child and Chris's brother was the obvious, well, the only choice in our minds, since he's who we have already named as guardian for Oliver and Soren. Our social worker informed us that because the Chinese authorities would frown upon a non-married male under the age of 30 being named as guardian, we needed to name someone else. It didn't matter who we put down, as the form didn't need to match our will and it isn't a legally binding document. Anything can derail an adoption and the agency didn't want it to be this.
Chris and I conferred briefly and then wrote down the names of a friend of mine who'd written a reference letter on our behalf and her husband. After we rewrote and signed the form, I panicked when I realized that my friends' two kids, Oliver, Soren and our third child would equal five kids - living in what's effectively a two-bedroom house. Our social worker assured us that no one would actually be visiting our new guardians' home, let alone verifying that these friends actually exist. Since the Chinese government can't dictate who actually becomes the guardian of a child legally yours once the adoption is complete, wouldn't a more effective approach to looking out for the best interests of the child have been requiring that prospective adoptive parents have a will and have named a guardian?
I happened to see that friend that evening. She asked how the home study visit had gone. I informed her that in the eyes of the Chinese government, she and her husband would be the guardians of our children. I think that was the last thing she expected to hear! I promised her that our life insurance policies would buy her expanded family a bigger house.
Our social worker expects to have a draft of our home study to us by September 20 for Chris and me to review. After we've verified all the information is accurate, she'll forward it to the national office for approval, which takes about another week. I'm hoping we'll have it approved by the end of September!
The next big steps in the application phase it to mail our I-800A application to Immigration to request preliminary approval to bring an adopted child into the country. While we wait on approval, we can work on our dossier. Once the I-800A has been approved and the dossier completed, we'll be able to mail the dossier to China. I'd love to have that mailed before Christmas. At that point, the real waiting will begin.
Thursday, August 15, 2013
Home Study Visit #2
Our second home study revealed an example of how small this world is - our social worker is the daughter of a grad school classmate and a cousin of another. Nancy had followed a later-in-life dream to go back to school, even if it meant she'd be taking classes with students her children's ages. She fit in well with her classmates and everyone adored her. Of course I had no idea one of Nancy's children, whom she talked so much about, would some day help the husband I had yet to meet bring home a new child.
Aside from that it's-a-small-world aha moment, the home study visit felt like another check off the long list of steps required by law. Our interview was more a conversation about my life - my upbringing, my relationship with my parents, what I did for fun as a kid, family traditions, how I did in school, what lead me into my current career, my relationship with Chris and so on. All the questions seemed to focus on what I had already written in my essays. I know the whole purpose is to help our social worker get to know us better since she will play such an integral role in expanding our family, but Chris and I couldn't help but feel this home study visit was redundant.
Our third and last home study visit will hopefully take place the week after Labor Day. I had hoped to schedule it earlier, but with Chris's work travel, our vacation plans at the end of August, and our social worker only being in the office Monday-Thursday, we couldn't fit the three visits in before we leave for New Jersey. And I found out the home study by state law must consist of three distinct home study visits. Hence Lindsey must come back a third time to "interview" Oliver and Soren and take a look at our neighborhood, even though she's already talked to our kids and is familiar with our neighborhood because she happens to attend the ECFE adoption class at the school down the street from our house. (Again...small world.)
At least as soon as that third and final visit concludes, Lindsey can start writing the home study report even if we are still waiting on some final documentation needed for the home study, such as medical reports from our kids' pediatrician. So although I'm feeling frustrated by the delay in what is already a long process that we've just barely begun, I know the end of this stage in the process will come quickly. Lindsey needs two to three weeks to write the report and have it approved by her office. She'll then submit the report to our agency's national office for approval and the China team will review the report to make sure it meets all the requirements of the Chinese government, a process that takes another week or two. Once the national office approves the report, we can mark the home study process complete!
Aside from that it's-a-small-world aha moment, the home study visit felt like another check off the long list of steps required by law. Our interview was more a conversation about my life - my upbringing, my relationship with my parents, what I did for fun as a kid, family traditions, how I did in school, what lead me into my current career, my relationship with Chris and so on. All the questions seemed to focus on what I had already written in my essays. I know the whole purpose is to help our social worker get to know us better since she will play such an integral role in expanding our family, but Chris and I couldn't help but feel this home study visit was redundant.
Our third and last home study visit will hopefully take place the week after Labor Day. I had hoped to schedule it earlier, but with Chris's work travel, our vacation plans at the end of August, and our social worker only being in the office Monday-Thursday, we couldn't fit the three visits in before we leave for New Jersey. And I found out the home study by state law must consist of three distinct home study visits. Hence Lindsey must come back a third time to "interview" Oliver and Soren and take a look at our neighborhood, even though she's already talked to our kids and is familiar with our neighborhood because she happens to attend the ECFE adoption class at the school down the street from our house. (Again...small world.)
At least as soon as that third and final visit concludes, Lindsey can start writing the home study report even if we are still waiting on some final documentation needed for the home study, such as medical reports from our kids' pediatrician. So although I'm feeling frustrated by the delay in what is already a long process that we've just barely begun, I know the end of this stage in the process will come quickly. Lindsey needs two to three weeks to write the report and have it approved by her office. She'll then submit the report to our agency's national office for approval and the China team will review the report to make sure it meets all the requirements of the Chinese government, a process that takes another week or two. Once the national office approves the report, we can mark the home study process complete!
Tuesday, August 6, 2013
Home Study Visit #1
Our much-anticipated home study visit came and went with little excitement. Our social worker met with Chris and me at our home, and while I had no idea what to expect, I was surprised that she asked the exact same questions Chris and I had answered as part of our home study paperwork. At least she skipped over the questions about our experience with children so we wouldn't have to state the obvious again.
For something that we had taken a half a day off work to accommodate, it was kind of a let-down that nothing new was really covered in our interview. Since the adoption process is quite intrusive, I had expected more probing questions and at least some follow-up to what we had written in our essays. Then again, the purpose of a home study is to get to know the family and make sure there's no reason to suspect the family is unsuitable to adopt a child, and while the bar is set pretty high, it probably doesn't take too much digging for a social worker to make that call.
What I did appreciate about today's home study visit is that Chris finally met Lindsey and heard all the information about the adoption process first-hand. Like Chris, I'm learning about adoption as I go, and it's hard sometimes to have to relay information when I'm still figuring out myself what comes next.
Our social worker's visit ended up lasting less than two hours and was pretty relaxed. Her time here included a tour of our house so she could officially check off that our house has room for another child and no glaring safety hazards.
She met Soren and Oliver for the first time and Oliver showed his enthusiasm for getting a new brother. He asked Chris where his brother is and was told we'd have to get on a plane and fly really far away to get him. Oliver then told us he wanted to go to the airport and fly to pick up his new brother today. Oh, I wish it were so easy!
Our next steps in the home study process are to gather the last few pieces of paperwork, finish our first set of adoption prep courses and schedule our individual interviews with our social worker. After all that's finished, she'll take two to three weeks to write the home study report and then we'll officially be finished with the home study. I hope we can check this step off our list by mid-September. With the home study completed, we can move on to two more critical steps in the process, submission of our Form I-1800A to the U.S. government and submission of our dossier to the Chinese government.
For something that we had taken a half a day off work to accommodate, it was kind of a let-down that nothing new was really covered in our interview. Since the adoption process is quite intrusive, I had expected more probing questions and at least some follow-up to what we had written in our essays. Then again, the purpose of a home study is to get to know the family and make sure there's no reason to suspect the family is unsuitable to adopt a child, and while the bar is set pretty high, it probably doesn't take too much digging for a social worker to make that call.
What I did appreciate about today's home study visit is that Chris finally met Lindsey and heard all the information about the adoption process first-hand. Like Chris, I'm learning about adoption as I go, and it's hard sometimes to have to relay information when I'm still figuring out myself what comes next.
Our social worker's visit ended up lasting less than two hours and was pretty relaxed. Her time here included a tour of our house so she could officially check off that our house has room for another child and no glaring safety hazards.
She met Soren and Oliver for the first time and Oliver showed his enthusiasm for getting a new brother. He asked Chris where his brother is and was told we'd have to get on a plane and fly really far away to get him. Oliver then told us he wanted to go to the airport and fly to pick up his new brother today. Oh, I wish it were so easy!
Our next steps in the home study process are to gather the last few pieces of paperwork, finish our first set of adoption prep courses and schedule our individual interviews with our social worker. After all that's finished, she'll take two to three weeks to write the home study report and then we'll officially be finished with the home study. I hope we can check this step off our list by mid-September. With the home study completed, we can move on to two more critical steps in the process, submission of our Form I-1800A to the U.S. government and submission of our dossier to the Chinese government.
Thursday, July 18, 2013
Preparations for Home Study
Chris and I have hit the ground running with the paperwork for our Home Study, which we hope to complete before our first interview on August 6. We've been fingerprinted at the police station and requested background checks, we've signed most of the paperwork, we finally have originals of everyone's birth certificates and we've nearly completed our essays. Yes, essays. This is where we write about our families and backgrounds and try to convince our social worker that our parents raised us perfectly, we never fought with our little brothers, our discipline techniques with our children are always effective and we got straight A's in school.
The first of the Home Study interviews will take place at our house so our social worker can meet the kids and tour the house. I've been reading enough blogs and message boards to know not to stress about the Home Visit. Bloggers have posted pictures of their homes with captions like, "Look at our living room! You'll never see it this clean again!" And then they were disappointed that the social worker barely looked around. The social worker (purportedly) doesn't come to judge you on when you last scrubbed your bathtub or by how much unfolded laundry is piled up on the couch; she visits your home to learn about your family, make sure it's safe and that there's room for another child.
That reassurance aside, I do want her to be able to make it to the front door of our house without climbing over the tricycles, recycling bins and gardening tools that haphazardly clutter our porch, then not trip over toys or shoes when she enters the foyer, which is about the size of an airplane lavatory, and, finally, have a place to sit on the couch that's not covered in fore-mentioned unfolded laundry. And, well, I think I'll scrub the bathtub just in case she takes a peak behind the shower curtain.
Otherwise, I'm going to hold back from a cleaning frenzy. I was tempted to use the Home Study as an excuse to hire a housekeeper to do a deep clean, but opted to save the money and let the social worker see the real us. Instead, the Home Study is motivating us to tackle a few larger-scale housekeeping projects. I finally thinned out the pile of things in the back bedroom that have been hanging out ever since I moved them there to set up Soren's bedroom. And while I hung out at the park with the kids last Sunday, Chris hosed down all the toys and trikes from the porch and then swept and mopped it.
Now that the house is in reasonable order, I'm looking forward to inviting our social worker into our home to meet our family and learn more about us.
The first of the Home Study interviews will take place at our house so our social worker can meet the kids and tour the house. I've been reading enough blogs and message boards to know not to stress about the Home Visit. Bloggers have posted pictures of their homes with captions like, "Look at our living room! You'll never see it this clean again!" And then they were disappointed that the social worker barely looked around. The social worker (purportedly) doesn't come to judge you on when you last scrubbed your bathtub or by how much unfolded laundry is piled up on the couch; she visits your home to learn about your family, make sure it's safe and that there's room for another child.
That reassurance aside, I do want her to be able to make it to the front door of our house without climbing over the tricycles, recycling bins and gardening tools that haphazardly clutter our porch, then not trip over toys or shoes when she enters the foyer, which is about the size of an airplane lavatory, and, finally, have a place to sit on the couch that's not covered in fore-mentioned unfolded laundry. And, well, I think I'll scrub the bathtub just in case she takes a peak behind the shower curtain.
Otherwise, I'm going to hold back from a cleaning frenzy. I was tempted to use the Home Study as an excuse to hire a housekeeper to do a deep clean, but opted to save the money and let the social worker see the real us. Instead, the Home Study is motivating us to tackle a few larger-scale housekeeping projects. I finally thinned out the pile of things in the back bedroom that have been hanging out ever since I moved them there to set up Soren's bedroom. And while I hung out at the park with the kids last Sunday, Chris hosed down all the toys and trikes from the porch and then swept and mopped it.
Now that the house is in reasonable order, I'm looking forward to inviting our social worker into our home to meet our family and learn more about us.
Wednesday, July 10, 2013
Home Study Orientation
We plan to mail in the paperwork for our background checks and our finger print cards on Friday and once the state of Minnesota and the FBI gives our adoption agency the all clear, our home study can officially begin. The home study is the first big step in the adoption process and involves interviews with our social worker, a visit to our home, lots of paperwork and at least ten hours of education on adoption.
I met with our social worker, Lindsey, today to go over all the paperwork we'll need to complete as part of the home study. The stack is somewhere between thicker than the stack of paperwork we signed for our refinance two weeks ago and thinner than what I'd imagined we'd be tackling. Since Chris is away for work the next two weeks and Lindsey reports to jury duty the Monday Chris gets back, I was thankful she agreed to meet with just me so we can get started. I almost feel like we have a three-week head start to collect documents, fill out questionnaires, get finger-printed, complete the first round of education and schedule home visits.
I had started the adoption process under the impression that the social worker was from outside the adoption agency and remained mostly a stranger who showed up for the home visit and was somehow "against" you by looking for anything wrong with your house or family. Then I learned that Lindsey, the woman who has been guiding us and will continue to guide us through every step of the process, is that one that writes our home study. She finds it a blessing to be a part of an adoptive family's journey and is here to be our resource.
I've been impressed with Lindsey so far. She's answered every last question I've thrown at her so far (and I have a lot!) and she was both calm and encouraging as she explained the long and detailed process to adopt from China. I had gone in with some worries about the process and left feeling more informed and encouraged. What a relief to have a friendly face in what can feel like an overwhelming, personal and intrusive process.
I met with our social worker, Lindsey, today to go over all the paperwork we'll need to complete as part of the home study. The stack is somewhere between thicker than the stack of paperwork we signed for our refinance two weeks ago and thinner than what I'd imagined we'd be tackling. Since Chris is away for work the next two weeks and Lindsey reports to jury duty the Monday Chris gets back, I was thankful she agreed to meet with just me so we can get started. I almost feel like we have a three-week head start to collect documents, fill out questionnaires, get finger-printed, complete the first round of education and schedule home visits.
I had started the adoption process under the impression that the social worker was from outside the adoption agency and remained mostly a stranger who showed up for the home visit and was somehow "against" you by looking for anything wrong with your house or family. Then I learned that Lindsey, the woman who has been guiding us and will continue to guide us through every step of the process, is that one that writes our home study. She finds it a blessing to be a part of an adoptive family's journey and is here to be our resource.
I've been impressed with Lindsey so far. She's answered every last question I've thrown at her so far (and I have a lot!) and she was both calm and encouraging as she explained the long and detailed process to adopt from China. I had gone in with some worries about the process and left feeling more informed and encouraged. What a relief to have a friendly face in what can feel like an overwhelming, personal and intrusive process.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
