Oliver update: 23 months

Oliver still points things out that he notices on his own, such as every large vehicle or airplane that passes us by, but now when we read a book, he'll point out things in our house that he sees in the illustrations. For instance, if the character in the book is going to bed, he'll point up towards his room, or if the kid in the book is holding a blanket, he'll point to the blanket on the couch. He's always liked Where is Baby's Belly Button, (and any other lift-the-flap book), but he doesn't seem interested in lifting the flap on each page anymore. Instead, he likes to point out on his own body each body part this is mentioned in the book. (I often don't know whether certain behaviors are unique to Oliver or correspond to a developmental pattern, but I coincidentally read recently that toddlers at precisely this age like to point out body parts.) The funniest is when the little boy David in the book No David is pictured sitting in time-out, Oliver points to his own time-out chair, which seems to have taken a permanent place facing a corner in our dining room.

Oliver clearly understands so much - you can look at a picture book with him and ask him to point out various vehicles and he can follow directions (when he wants to of course) - and his speech is slowly, very slowly, improving. He loves to say hi and bye to anyone and everything, but his more advanced vocabulary includes shoe, brush, help, water and mama, which is also how he pronounces lawnmower. None of these words he pronounces with perfect clarity, except for bus, which he must say 50 times a day. We're not sure if he thinks bus is a collective term for anything on wheels, or if he just likes saying the word, since he'll sometimes repeat the word over and over again completely out of context. Despite his small vocabulary, he's still babbling a lot. He was having an extended "conversation" with the grandfather of one of his little buddies, and then man turned to me, and with a bit of guilt in his voice, asked if I know what he's saying when he talks. "Not really!" I admitted.

This last month was probably Oliver's most painful teething experience. Although teething has caused him to be cranky, it's never disrupted his sleep like it did for a good week or two in a row when he'd wake up multiple times at night crying really hard. Middle-of-the-night doses of Ibuprofen luckily helped. The only upside to all the night wakings was that some days he's sleep past 8:00 a.m. I slept right up to his wake-up call one of those days. I honestly can't remember the last time I slept past 8:00 a.m. (and when sleeping in wasn't preceded by middle-of-the-night feedings).

After Oliver started sleeping more soundly through the night again, we made the switch from a crib to a bed. The transition was mostly uneventful, except that his naps have been shorter because the allure of his books and toys have been irresistible. Despite putting him to bed earlier at night to help him make up some sleep, he still seems sleep-deprived. Afternoons have become an especially difficult time of day because Oliver is often so cranky. (As am I from just general pregnancy fatigue.) We resorted to having him nap in the pack 'n' play for a few days last week in the hopes that it would help him catch up on sleep, which would maybe put him back on track to be able to nap better in his bed.

I'm not sure if it was just teething or a combination of standard toddler moodiness, but I hit a rough couple of days where Oliver's behavior (combined with my not-so-level-headed reaction to it) left me in tears for being "that parent" who can't control her out-of-control kid. Folks aren't kidding when they say toddlerhood is a challenging phase. Toddlers are at a point where they've made huge gains developmentally, but they still don't have the maturity to control impulses, express emotions or wants in a constructive manner or do many things for themselves (yet they want to). Despite understanding the theory behind the behaviors of this age group, dealing with calm and confidence of your own flesh and blood who's trying to rip everything in sight off the store shelves is another matter.

Despite a phase of toddler moodiness, as I like to call it, Oliver is a lot more comfortable in situations that previously would have caused him to scream at the sight of even a loving relative. Every child goes through separation anxiety to some degree and for some length - it's very normal and expected.(I just wish I'd understood earlier that I wasn't causing Oliver's separation and that there's not a way to "cure" it, just tactics to help child - and parent - cope.) So it's a relief to see how attached Oliver is becoming to Chris's parents and brother and it's a surprise to see him approach other adults, want to sit on someone's lap or let a friend pick him up and hold him. He still appears happier playing with small groups of kids and isn't the type to be clingy with other kids, (or tolerate other kids invading his personal space) but I have noticed subtle changes in his comfort level around others.

We're not planning on taking Oliver in for his two-year wellness check until after the baby is born and needs to go in for his/her two-week check-up. Chris got really curious about how tall Oliver is now, so he pulled out his tape measure and attempted to try to measure the height of a moving target. It actually took the two of us to get an accurate measurement, but he's 34 inches tall. We just wish we knew how much he weighs. It seems like he's never going to grow out of size 18 month pants. Which is a good thing since the sales for back-to-school shopping got me thinking about fall clothes and I discovered that I have virtually nothing for colder weather in size 2T, which is the t-shirt size he's been wearing all summer.

People ask if Oliver has any clue that he's going to become a big brother soon. He likes to point out my big stomach, (thanks for noticing kid!) but I've heard that cognitively, kids this age just can't understand the concept of a baby growing inside mom's stomach and what it means to become a sibling. We talk about the new baby a little bit and make jokes about the good life ending, (like he understands that kind of humor at this age) but that's about it. I'd like to get him a book about being a big brother and a doll, but that just keeps falling to the bottom of the to-do list. I also think those types of things will have more impact when the baby is actually here.

A lot of kids form attachments to objects, the obvious being some sort of object they have to sleep with. Oliver doesn't have the can't-function-without type of attachment to one particular object, but I do think it's cute how he likes to bring a little plastic shovel, or some other sand toy, on walks with him. Even if we don't plan on stopping at the park, he just likes to hold it. He's always been pretty good about riding in his car seat, but has gotten more defiant about getting in over the last couple of months, because he'd rather be running around than getting buckled in. He usually settles down pretty quickly if I give him the shovel or another toy to hold or a book to look at. As for putting him to bed, for good measure, we make sure he has his giraffe lovey, a stuffed polar bear and a brown bear stuffed animal from the Eric Carle book. So far though, he doesn't have a need for certain things to come to bed with him and hasn't been clamoring to put half his possessions in his bed with him at bedtime.

Every teacher probably knows this trick, but if we talk to Oliver in a whisper, he matches our tone. I'll put him to bed and talk about our day really quietly and then tell him it's time to go to sleep and he answers back with a hushed, "Yeah." He's usually full of expression first thing in the morning, (positive or negative, depending upon which side of the crib he wakes up on) so when Chris was still sleeping, but I had to duck into our bedroom to get something, I told Oliver we had to keep our voices down and then put my finger up to my mouth and said, "Shhhh." Oliver followed me into the room and copied me by repeatedly saying, "Shhh, shhh," and not very quietly! That was the end of Chris's sleeping in.

A friend commented on how many tan babies she's been seeing and doesn't think babies should be tan. I looked over at Oliver, who was looking rather tan, even under the fluorescent lighting of the gym we were in. I agree kids need sunblock no matter what their complexion, but it's summer, Oliver has been spending a lot of time outside, and after much speculation between Chris and me, (babies are born with fairer skin, so it was hard to tell when Oliver was really young) it looks like Oliver's skin tone is going to more match his dad's. Which means that Oliver's arms are darker than mine!