Dancing Partners

We didn't have dancing at our wedding for a reason - neither of us likes to dance. And I don't think our parents like to dance either. So we decided, the heck with it, it's our wedding and we want to enjoy it, not feel awkward.

Sometimes I can like dancing though. I'm mesmerized by people who have talent and as long as there's no pressure, I have even found myself enjoying trying to salsa or swing dance. And when I first saw Jill and Kevin dancing down the aisle to the altar at their wedding on YouTube, I thought it was awesome. And then I wondered why I hadn't thought of that. In reality, though, I don't know if Chris and I would have pulled that off, either due to lack of rhythm or slipping on the muddy aisle.

Even when I discover small inspirations to dance, I have yet to convince Chris to even slow dance with me. Not even when I begged him for one song at the last wedding we went to. And then we found ourselves at "birth class." The nurse leading the class was walking us through positioning and movement techniques for relieving pain and tension during labor. Apparently, wrapping your arms around your partner and swaying side to side - mimicking slow dancing - feels very comfortable when you're in the early stages of labor. Alongside 20 or so other expecting couples, I embraced the opportunity to finally get Chris to dance with me.

Officially named "Preparing for Birth" by the hospital hosting the class, Chris and I had been calling it "Baby Class," "Birth Class" or "Birth 101." Typically offered as a five-week course one night a week, or as the condensed version over a Friday evening and Saturday (we opted for the 8.5-hour so-called "weekender"), this basic prenatal course becomes a crash course in everything you need to know about labor and your hospital stay. An instructor, usually a delivery room nurse, flies through topics such as signs of labor, stages of labor, what you need to bring to the hospital, how to pre-register, breastfeeding, pain relief, and of course, the breathing exercises everyone knows from the movies. Contrary to how most others who aren't expecting referred to our class, this was not a Lamaze class, which is a lot more specific than what we took. Lamaze is a childbirth method that focuses on childbirth coping strategies, including, but not limited to, breathing rhythms. During the dancing stint in the class we took, we also learned other relaxation techniques, such as massage (liked that) and a variety of breathing techniques (not as into).

As much as I enjoyed the class overall, I'll admit it's not absolutely necessary. Women have been giving birth since the beginning of time without a prior childbirth class. Chris's aunt successfully gave birth to her two children without any formal childbirth education, because both kids were born premature and before the classes she registered for took place. But most expecting parents find themselves signed up for a class, because it seems to be what's expected of you these days. All your expecting friends are taking them and then, in our case, our clinic advised us to be signed up before my 20th week. How could I have told my doctor no?

So there we were last Friday night putting in our time at Baby Class. Chris was less enthusiastic about attending, (the only class that ranked lower on his "wow, I can't believe I'm giving up a weekend for this" is the one a co-worker attended prior to his wedding on how to be a good Catholic husband), but I found myself looking forward to the class and a chance to hang out with other pregnant women. I saw the benefit in being as informed as possible and believed in the "knowledge is power" mantra that if you know what to expect during labor, it'll be less scary and stressful. So although I predicted not all the information would be new, I knew there had to be something Chris and I would take from the class. But a bit of anxiety set in when we sauntered into class and noticed every other couple had come armed with two pillows, a blanket, bags of snacks and water bottles, all dutifully carted in by the fathers-to-be. Chris and I were empty-handed and I suddenly felt wholly unprepared.

I started to wonder if ignorance really is bliss when the class began and my stress level immediately rose. At least I knew I wasn't imagining things when the instructor acknowledged that many of us will feel more anxious in the days following the class. She assured us those feelings will subside. I'm still waiting for that to happen. Much of the technical discussion made me not squeamish, just antsy to that point that I couldn't comfortably sit still. Within the first hour, I had already excused myself, but luckily, no one probably thought anything of a pregnant woman who leaves to presumably go to the bathroom. The birth videos weren't gory, but rather the women featured were calm. But that only proceeded to make me feel like I won't be so brave. I'll never live up to the women in the video.

There were some light-hearted parts of baby class. In the middle of describing early labor and your time in the delivery room, the instructor asked the class who controls the TV remote.

"Mom!" she answered cheerfully.

I shot a mischievous smile at Chris. I had already declared to Chris, unapologetically, that in the delivery room, things were going to happen my way, and now a medical authority figure was backing me up. I didn't realize that the topics of television, remotes and watching sports were hot-button issues until they were specifically addressed in the class.

Not even if your favorite sports team is playing, she stressed. Don't even think about "just checking the score."

I get a guaranteed respite from sports talk radio and football! The delivery room as total sports-free media haven! Woohoo!

There wasn't a single groan, not even from that one guy who seemed to challenge everything else the instructor said, and who you would have expected to ask, "But what if it's a REALLY big game?"

Despite the debate on exactly how necessary a childbirth class is, I'm still happy I had the opportunity to take the class. Much of the information fell into the "good to know" or "interesting to know" categories, as opposed to "your labor will be more disastrous if you don't pay attention now," but there was still much food for thought. When the instructor asked whether we had finished packing our suitcases for the hospital, Chris and I exchanged nervous glances, because we haven't even started, (granted, my due date is much later than anyone else in the class) let alone even considered what to pack. She also discussed birth plans, which inspired me to actually make a draft of mine. She had us consider the realities post labor, such as how we will take care of every day tasks like housecleaning, laundry and care of pets (if you have them) when you're exhausted and devoting every waking minute to a newborn.