Attachment Reminders

I'm 100% confident Matteo is firmly attached to me, but given how hard he rejected me in China and in the weeks after we got home, I don't take any displays of his attachment for granted.  They still catch me by surprise and fill my heart with love. Yesterday he gave me another sweet reminder of how far we've come as mother and son.

Kiera, Matteo and I met a friend and her kids at the park this weekend.  I was thrilled to see my friend's baby and scooped him out of his car seat and cradled him in my arms.  I knelt down so Kiera and Matteo could get a good look at him and Kiera's eyes lit up and a rare smile spread across her face.  She adores babies and points out everyone she sees, whether in real life or in a picture.  I then turned to Matteo and asked him what he thought of the baby.  He looked at me really sadly and repeatedly shook his head no.  I thought his reaction was an anomaly or perhaps he misunderstood me.  But he continued to look sad as I held my friend's baby.

Matteo is not an aggressive or mean-spirited child.  He expresses his disapproval subtly with the gentle tug of my hand or the quiver of his lip as he looks longingly at the child nestled in my arms.  Any attempts to get him to interact with my friend's son was met with more shaking of his head no. 

That night when I tucked him into bed, I knelt down, looked him in the eye and told him that no matter how many babies I hold, I'll always love him and I'll always be his mom. I wasn't sure whether my words mattered to him or whether he even understood what I was saying, yet he looked intently in my eyes and shook his head yes.