Trust-Based Relational Interventions (TBRI) Seminar

I'm so excited to be adopting that I was looking forward to fulfilling the 30 hours of training our agency requires.  We must complete at least ten hours before our home study is approved, another ten hours before we receive a referral and the final ten hours before we travel to China.  One of the criticisms within the adoption world is that not all families are required to and/or receive proper training, so I completely support education for adoptive parents. 

Unfortunately, the first twelve hours of training were a disappointment.  Our agency essentially requires a specific online course and Chris and I were both bored and learned little.  Webinars admittedly don't engage me much, but I found an experience I had hoped would be informative, to be painful.  I felt like I learned more from reading blogs and talking to other adoptive parents. 

So it was a relief to attend a training that was worth spending the better part of a fall Saturday indoors and hiring a babysitter to watch Soren and Oliver.  I learned about the training from another Bethany family who brought their son home from China a year and a half ago.  He was 15 months at the time - barely a toddler.  I'm certain his parents have heard from many that their son is lucky he "doesn't remember anything," yet they told me how he exhibits plenty of "orphanage behaviors."  They were so outspoken about the importance of not only teaching the realities of parenting adopted children, but of providing parents with skills and ideas they can use, that Bethany recently started requiring the training we attended today for all parents who adopt through their agency. 

The seminar trained on the strategies behind the Trust-Based Relational Interventions (TBRI) model, which teaches families to support the nurturing, healing and empowerment of children "from hard places."  Of the many eye-opening things I've learned about adoption it is that although the adoption is positive when children are placed in loving and stable families, children who've grown up in orphanages or who've had chaotic childhoods with inconsistent caregivers have suffered trauma.  And even if that trauma occurs at a young age, those early years are formative and can have lasting effects on a child's behavior and ability to form attachments with family.  The bottom line is that you have to parent adoptive children differently than biological children. 

The training was at times empowering and other times sobering.  We watched a lot of video clips of psychologists workings with children and it was difficult to witness their struggles with their feelings of anger, fear or frustration due to their pasts.  One clip focused on a young boy who cried as he talked about a past I couldn't have made up when I was his age and I almost cried myself.  While the training wasn't always comfortable, the message was that parents can learn the skills to help their children thrive.