On the Mend

I am less pregnant than I was on Monday.  That's good news! The results of my blood test on Monday showed a continued rise in my hCG level from the Friday before, but I was told that's normal even a few days after the initial methotrexate treatment.  What my doctor was hoping to see was a 15% drop in my hCG level between day four of treatment (Monday) and day seven of treatment (today) and my drop was 34%.  Never have I been so happy to be not (less) pregnant.  I'll need to have weekly blood draws until my hCG levels hit zero, but my follow-up exam indicates that I'm recovering from the ectopic pregnancy as well as my doctor was hoping. 

Today is the best I've felt in two weeks, especially compared with this last week.  My doctor warned me there would be a lot of cramping, but my gosh, I wasn't expecting flashbacks of my labor with Soren.  Remember those contractions that really started to hurt?  That's what it felt like.  I looked at my body and wanted to scream at myself, "There's not even a baby in there!"

As particularly painful and uncomfortable as that first wave of cramping was, I've never experienced being so comforted by my own child like I was by Soren.  Chris was out with Oliver and Soren had just woken up from his nap, so I pulled him out of his crib and laid in my bed with him.  I held him tightly and clasped his fists in mine as my tears fell onto the soft, wisps of curls forming on the back of his head.  I was sure he'd want to get up and play, but he contently lay there snuggled with mom and thankfully oblivious to my pain.  I was so thankful to have this sweet little boy to hug and hold.

Tylenol, the only pain-reliever I was allowed to take, was also a great comfort.  It was enough to take the edge off and allow me to be functional, but there were periods this past week where let's just say I was grumpy.   I can't wait to be back to my normal self.