Blood Clot

I was clearly ahead of the ball when I declared myself "on the mend" last week.  But I really was feeling much better by the time I met again with my doctor for a follow-up appointment at the end of last week.  I even felt well enough to take a walk.  And then another one the next day.  But during that second walk, I knew I wasn't doing so well anymore when I realized I was using Soren's stroller as support.  Once we got home, I fed him lunch and got him down for his afternoon nap as soon as I could and then collapsed on the couch for the next three hours.  I was still in enough pain the next morning that I needed to call Chris's parents for help with Soren and then called Chris at the cabin where he'd gone to help his brother with beginning-of-the-season chores and asked him to come home early. 

I saw my doctor again yesterday afternoon and although my blood tests looked great, (my hCG levels had dropped by half) she wasn't optomistic by the pain and tenderness I was experiencing in my lower abdomen and ordered an ultrasound.  The earliest appointment I could get was at 7:30 p.m. in the Radiology Department and then that got pushed back due to an emergency patient.  With my luck, the ultrasound had to be performed twice, which shouldn't have been a good sign, and by the time I talked with the doctor at 10:30 p.m., she informed me that I had a 14-centimeter-long blood clot. It could be serious, or not at all.  I have in my favor the fact that my hCG levels are dropping like they should, which means the ectopic is resolving, or else we'd have what the doctor called a "hot mess." However, until I could have a CT scan to determine whether the clot is bleeding and get a better idea of exactly what's going on, she didn't feel comfortable sending me home.  Thus I was unexpectedly admitted to the hospital.

Two and a half hours and three trys later, the third nurse was finally able to get an IV line going and sent me back down to Radiology for the CT scan.  The results of the scan weren't enough on their own to make a more detailed diagnoses and the doctor told me she really needed the results of the blood draws I'd have throughout the night.  So more waiting.  After very, very little sleep last night, I'm sitting around waiting for my doctor to round today and let me know the next course of action.   

After feeling like I was making progress towards recovery, it was so frustrating to suddenly feel like I was never going to get better.  Besides my physical discomfort, I'm feeling sad because I miss my kids and because I haven't really been able to play with them much recently and haven't been in the best mood.  And even though I have a supportive work environment and helpful nanny, I actually feel anxious imagining how Chris and I would manage if I were still a stay-at-home mom.  As difficult as it was to concentrate at work when I wasn't feeling my best, I appreciated that I have someone healthy at home to do fun stuff with the kids.  And of course, having the nanny home with the kids today is a huge help so Chris can go to work and they can follow their normal routine.