Who would design a house without coat closets or linen closets?  Whoever built ours back in 1915 did.  A few decades later, a previous homeowner put an addition on the back of the house and didn't include a closet by the back door or a linen closet in the bathroom.  Our "foyer" is a three-by-three area hemmed in by the staircase on the left, the archway to the kitchen opposite the door and the archway to the living room on the right.  Jackets hang from hooks above our staircase and shoes pile in the doorway and spill into the living room.  We store our towels in plastic bins underneath our beds.  Chris and I bought the house knowing the lack of closets would be a big inconvinience, but as our family grows, finding a place for everything has become more difficult. 

 

Chris and I are determined to remodel the back addition in the next few years.  Our dream plans will get us an enlarged master bedroom, more closet space in the bedroom, a full bath and, of course, a linen closet.  And we're going to get a whole mudroom instead of just an entryway closet.  But those are just remodeling dreams for now. 

 

Until then, I'm left getting way too excited about organizational fixes like this. 



 

 

We mounted an over-the-door shoe organizer on an unused wall space leading into the kitchen where we store hats and gloves.  Chris made a coat rack, which he mounted at child height so Oliver and Soren can hang their jackets up by themselves. 

 

We'll still be tripping over shoes every time we enter the house and are living like college students with our bath towels stored in bins underneath our bed, but at least we solved one organizational challenge. 

 



Why You Don't Need to Feel Sorry for a Vegetarian on Thanksgiving

As a vegetarian, the part about Thanksgiving I dread every year are the tiring comments about how Thanksgiving must suck for a vegetarian, or whether I'm going to eat Tofurky or questioning what I could possibly eat if I don't eat turkey.  (Um, everything else.)  Yes, even though I'm a vegetarian, I really like Thanksgiving and I like Thanksgiving food.  I don't know how a holiday that's supposed to be about family, friends and giving thanks reduced its focus to a single food item. 

Every year I look forward to large family gatherings and enjoying one of the few times a year my kids see their extended family together in one spot.  I enjoy the time off work and having an extra long weekend.  I consider Thanksgiving to be the beginning of the holiday season and thus when all the fun begins.   

And then there's the food.  I enjoy the comfort foods and the tradition of the food served, whether I eat every dish or not.  Some of my fondest memories living abroad where the Thanksgivings I celebrated among fellow ex-pats, exchange students, host families, university classmates and even my own family who happened to visit me one year at the end of November.  Stateside for a decade now, I enjoy the truly American culinary traditions that make up the Thanksgiving meal.  As a vegetarian, I contribute a main course complement to the turkey and I enjoy the freedom to bring whatever I want.  For three years now, it's been a Moroccan tagine. 

Thanksgiving encompasses so much that I could care less about the turkey.

The vomit kept coming, and coming, and coming.  Soren sat in the basket of the grocery cart, and every time I thought he had finished hurling onto the floor of the produce section, I'd lean in to comfort him, but he'd pause, and then hurl some more.  When the vomiting finally ceased, I couldn't believe a 19-pound baby was capable of throwing up that much.

My child throwing up indoors in a public place, especially to the excess he did, ranked up there as one of the most embarrassing moments so far of parenthood.  However, I quickly realized the bright side of the situation.  Soren didn't actually throw up on me, so some of my dignity was left intact, he threw up on a surface that could be easily mopped (and not, say, the car) and he threw up in Kowalski's, whose staff is so nice that they practically apologized to me that Soren threw up. 

After an afternoon spent at the doctor's office, where Soren's ear infection had been diagnosed, the fateful trip to the grocery store, and a final stop at the drugstore to pick up Soren's perscription for antibiotics, I was relieved to be home.  My relief was short-lived.  I hadn't even changed Soren when Oliver peed his pants.  Right after I put a feverish Soren loaded up on antibiotics and Ibuprofen to bed, Oliver pooped his pants.  Even then, I was looking at the bright side.  I was already planning on doing a load of laundry. 

Kids Say the Darndest Things

Oliver and his friend were playing in her bedroom when I stepped out to change Soren's diaper.  As I walked down the hall, I heard their laughter and the sounds of what appeared to be cooperative play.  You'd be surprised how well these two get along given the contrast in their personalities.  My friend's daughter is confident and bold and if she wants someone to play with her, well, she wants to do so badly.  Oliver is quieter and more apprehensive, and while he's social in his own way, he needs his personal space.   

I was chatting with my friend as I changed Soren, when we suddenly overheard her very self-assured daughter command in her loudest voice, "Oliver, sleep with me!  I want you to sleep with me!"  Her pleading continued and grew louder and madder.  And at the mature age of three, how did my little boy respond?  He quietly, but confidently, said, "No, I want to go home and sleep in my own bed."

My friend and I just about died laughing.  Apparently the two had been climbing on and off the bed until Oliver's friend decided they were instead going to play "pretend to go to sleep."  The humor we found in their innocence was clearly lost on them. 

Soren Update: 13 Months

Soren has taken his first steps, but we can't call him a walker yet.  About two or three weeks ago, instead of plopping down on the floor when you set him down, he started to actually remain standing.  And then he advanced to pulling himself up on something and letting go.  When he first started standing unassisted, he didn't realize he was standing at first and he'd drop to the floor as soon as he realized what he was doing.  Now he's quite proud of himself. With a lot of coaxing, we've gotten him to take a few steps.  The first few days, we weren't sure if they were steps made with intention or if he was just stumbling towards mom or dad's outstretched arms.  In the last day or two, it's finally clear he's taking those few steps with purpose. 

Even if Soren isn't quite walking yet, he's proving himself to be a climber.  He's climbed out of his crib twice. The first time I was just about to leave for work when I heard a thud a floor above and dashed up to his room. Even though I knew a loud sound like that could only be made by someone falling onto the floor, I was still shocked to see Soren sitting in the middle of his bedroom floor, in his sleepsack and quietly sucking on his pacifier. Only when I burst into his room did he start crying. A week later, our nanny thought she'd heard what sounded like someone hitting the floor, but then didn't hear any crying, so she thought she imagined it. When she went to check on him, sure enough he was out of his crib and sitting on the floor quietly playing with his toys. 

Given the development of Soren's climbing skills, we're considering moving him to a twin-size mattress on the floor sooner than later. Like with Oliver, we'll keep the pack 'n' play on hand as a back-up, but I see little reason to wait until the rebellious toddler stage to start the transition to a bed.

We packed up the bottles and Soren now drinks from a sippy cup.  I got tired of the bottles crowding our kitchen island, so I reclaimed the space, cleaned out a cupboard that held yet more bottles and created a spot for sippy cups and bibs.

Soren used to be content sitting in his booster seat for as long as we would let him, but lately he's been acting more like his brother at this age and plowing through his meal in a few minutes and then not being patient enough to keep sitting. But we've learned something as parents since Oliver was at this stage. If they throw food, that means they're finished. Sometimes we're able to buy a few extra minutes of peaceful family dinner time with some fruit or his sippy cup of , but we're wise enough now that if he starts to throw food or wine, we clean him up and get him down. 

The poor kid is terrified of dogs. We were at a party where the hosts had a sprightly ten-month-old Labrador Retriever and Soren screamed any time he saw the dog come near us. I guess I would too if I were his size and saw a large out-of-control animal bounding towards me.  Even Oliver was unnerved by the onslaught of slobbery dog kisses, but Soren just clung to me for dear life.   

The amusing part though is that he's fearful of anything that looks like an animal. The Children's Museum has puppets of wild animals and I tried goofing around with the puppets, but Soren clearly believed I had a real racoon attached to my arm.

Another fear that's presenting itself is his separation anxiety, which still persists.  He still doesn't like to be held by anyone but Mom, Dad, his nanny and maybe his grandparents.  When I said goodbye to him at ECFE on Monday night to go to the parent room, he practically crawled up and over a table to get to me.  Surprisingly, less than five minutes later, he was back to his usual self playing with the teachers and other babies. 

We've embarked on another sleep transition.  Soren's morning nap has become unpredictable, and sometimes a catnap is the best we can expect.  We still try to put him down in the morning, because he's certainly tired, but if that fails, our next plan of attack is to try to put him down at 11:00 a.m. for an early nap.  However, since we also have an older child and are often out and about because of him, or at a minimum, need to drop him off and pick him up from preschool, sometimes we don't have an opportunity to put him down early.  Lucikly for us, Soren is a more flexible child and can manage until lunch time with no nap and no meltdown. 

Why I'm Voting No

I'm voting no tomorrow on Minnesota's discriminatory same-sex marriage admendment for Oliver and Soren.  I know so much about my two children - they love to play with trucks in the sand, eat cookies, read books and snuggle with their parents - yet still so little about who they will become.  Being that they're only three and one, I have no idea where they will go to school, what hobbies they will explore, what they will study, what jobs they will hold or who they will love.  

 

 

I do know that I will love them for whoever they become.  I look forward to all the ways in which they'll surprise me, because at this young of an age, their futures are so wide open.  So I don't want to slam one door shut for either of them.  One day, probably way too soon, they'll have eyes for someone other than Mommy and I don't want them to realize their freedom had been decided for them long before they had a say in it. 

 

What are more universal dreams as parents for their kids than to pursue what they love, be happy, and love and be loved?  That's why this vote is for them.

Condolences

My friend's father died last night after a long illness.  Although he had been sick, learning of his death still shocked me.  It was the kind of news that made time stop.  I had never met him, but I still cried for my friend and her sister, because I know what an incredibly painful time this is for them.  Six years later and I still remember being swallowed by a grief that I saw no end to and a feeling that life for everyone else marched on while mine had come to a standstill.  And that all felt so unfair.

I eventually rejoined the world, of course, where I could enjoy the routine details of life.  And life-changing, happy, life-changing events occurred too.  I married, I had two children and my father remarried a wonderful woman.  However, in my core there's a sadness that may never fade.   

Happy Birthday Grandmother!

Happy birthday to one of my biggest fans!  I picked out a couple of my favorite pictures of my grandmother with her two great-grandsons taken during out last trip out East in August.  She loves playing with them and reading them books and doesn't mind getting on the floor with them or following them down the slide.  Oliver, Soren, Chris and I are lucky to have such a cool and loving grandmother and great-grandmother.