One-Month Post-Adoption Report

The China Center for Children's Welfare and Adoption (CCCWA) requires families to submit six post-adoption reports over the course of five years.  Counting from the day the adoption is finalized in China, (January 27th for Matteo and February 3 for Kiera) reports are due to the CCCWA at one month, six months, twelve months, two years, three years and five years post-adoption.  (If you received your travel approval January 1, 2015 or later, the one-month post-adoption report is replaced by a four-year report.) The first three must be written by a social worker; the last three by the families.  Reports, along with eight photos depicting the child's life, are submitted to the placing agency, who then submits them to the CCCWA.

Thankfully both our placing agency and home study agency were on top of things and contacted us about scheduling a meeting, because the post-adoption report was the last thing on my mind when I returned.  And thankfully we like our social worker because she'll be in our lives for awhile, something I didn't fully appreciate when post-adoption seemed like a stage we were never going to make it to.

Our social worker came over to our house and took notes while the kids played and I talked about how things have been going.  I talked about our time in China, meeting Matteo and Kiera for the first time, how the bonding process is going, what Oliver and Soren think of everything, how we're all sleeping, the doctor's appointments I've lined up and pretty much everything that's happened in the month since we've known these two.  I was happy to report that they're healthy (the need for palate surgery and ear tubes aside), eating well, sleeping (reasonably) well, well-behaved (for now) and just generally happy kids.  I recounted how I marveled at how two kids could take such interest in books despite not having held a book up until a month ago, or their curiosity and how they know how to play. 

Our concerns are few.  We hope that ear tubes solve the kids' speech delays, but for now, that's in the doctors' hands.  We wish we were sleeping better, but our social worker confirmed that what we're experiencing is normal and that how we're addressing it and coping with it are reasonable in the context of a newly-adopted child.  The emotional issue for me is attachment.  We're seeing signs in Kiera of "indiscriminate friendliness," which means she treats strangers the same way she treats us, her mom and dad.  I'm hoping this is more a reflection of Kiera's calm and friendly personality and the fact we're still so new to her that she's still sorting out who is who in her life, and that with time, she will form a healthy attachment to Chris and me.  But when Kiera picks up a book, flips it open to a picture of a woman, says, "Mama" and points to our social worker, I know we have a long way to go.  In the meantime, our social worker reinforced that we should continue what we've been doing, which is being the only ones who pick up Kiera, hug her, snuggle with her, feed her and generally meet all her physical and emotional needs.  For the time-being, everyone else should continue to direct her back to us no matter how cute she looks with her outstretched arms and eyes that plead, "Pick me up!" 

Overall, though, I can't emphasize enough how well things are otherwise going.  As our social worker watched Kiera and Matteo dump the contents of all the toys baskets onto the living room floor and explore and play, she remarked how calm and comfortable they seem.  She thought we were all adjusting well to becoming a family.  Barely one month in, this is what becoming a family looks like. Toy-strewn floor and all.