China Trip Day #13 - The Day We Met Kiera

Today couldn’t have gone any better for Chris.  He watched one of the best Super Bowl games he’s ever seen and got a daughter all in the same day.  The time difference meant that the NFL’s biggest game of the year started at 7:30 a.m. on Monday morning in China and we met Kiera at 2:30 in the afternoon.  When I was in labor with Oliver and Soren, I controlled the radio dial on the way to the hospital and the TV remote in my hospital room, which meant no sports talk radio or Monday night football for Chris.  The one in wrenching pain (that would have been me) got to call the shots.  Adoption is a different story though and given that Chris has more than pulled his weight on this trip (especially since he’s the preferred parent right now with Matteo), the Super Bowl it was.  

While Chris watched the game, Matteo and I took a walk.  We had hoped to get him down for an early nap so he’d be well-rested to meet his new sister.  Unfortunately, the timing didn’t work out.  Our guide wanted to meet us at noon to change money for the orphanage donation, and only then did we learn that the bank’s systems were down.  It was too late at that point to settle Matteo down and get him to nap, so we got take-out for lunch and ate it in the garden on the grounds of our hotel.  It was a beautiful day for a picnic – mid-70s and blue skies.  The gardens have a large Koi pond and Matteo and I enjoyed dropping pieces of bread from our lunch into the pond. 

We went back to our room to pack up a few things before meeting our guide for the drive to the Civil Affairs office in Guangzhou.  We packed snacks and sippy cups for both kids, lollipops, bubbles and my camera with freshly-charged batteries.  

We rode in the elevator with a group of nannies and five children (four boys and a girl) from another orphanage in Guangdong province.  As much as I wanted to meet Kiera, I was relieved she wasn’t one of the kids in the elevator because I would have been caught off-guard.  

We were lead into the Adoption Registry Center, a large and bright room that would eventually fill with over 20 families from all over the world meeting their children for the first time.  The children we saw in the elevator went to another room to wait.  Our guide told us Kiera had already arrived.  Families nervously waited.  One woman cried happy tears as she caught a glimpse of her son when he arrived.  One of my Facebook friends was there with her husband and two children as they awaited their 17-month-old son.  Today happened to be her birthday.  How cool is that?

I wasn’t sure what the plan was to introduce this large crowd to their children, but suddenly our guide said Kiera was ready.  We walked towards the room where the children were waiting when I looked over and there was a little girl in a bright pink coat surrounded by a bunch of adults.  The woman who we learned had been her nanny at the orphanage was pushing her towards me and telling her to go to her mom.  She walked right up to me.  She was even cuter in real life than in her pictures! I fumbled with everything I had in my hands desperately trying to get the bubbles we had packed.  She waited patiently as I fumbled with the lid to bottle. She was intrigued by the bubbles and I could tell that she wasn’t completely shut down.  She seemed almost happy, which was unbelievable.  

We walked her over to where we had been sitting while we waited for her so we could make room for other families.  Very quickly the room filled with chatter and laughter and cries from quite a few unhappy children.  Even as we had to talk above the noise, I was pretty much oblivious to what was going on around us.  The nanny who had accompanied Kiera from Shenzhen to Guangzhou knew her pretty well, so we were able to get all our questions answered.  The nanny reiterated what we had learned in our updates prior to travel – Kiera is an all-around great kid who’s smart and shows no signs of her original cerebral palsy diagnosis.  She’s supposedly potty-trained during the day, but arrived in a diaper due to the long trip.  During the whole question and answer time with the nanny, Kiera sucked down two sippy cups of water and happily sucked on the lollipop we brought her.  She let me hold her too.  I pulled her jacket off and noticed that she had two layers of tops and bottoms on, despite the warm weather.  Predictably, Kiera’s nanny reached for her to feel her skin to make sure she was still warm enough.  

And what was Matteo’s opinion of his new sister?  He had no comment at that time since he was asleep!  The lack of a nap had caught up with him and he had fallen asleep five minutes before we arrived at the Civil Affairs office. He did wake up at the end, so we do have some family pictures with him with his eyes open.  

As soon as we had our questions answered and signed the paperwork, our guide wanted us to leave so wouldn’t be hanging around longer than necessarily in what can be an overwhelming environment for kids.  As we reached for all our bags and our kids, I might have said “She’s mine!” out loud as I scooped Kiera up.  I was feeling very protective about being the only one to hold her. It's been tough on me having Matteo prefer Chris so much over me that I was feeling desperate to win over Kiera's trust as quickly as possible. 

The rest of the afternoon was more of an incredible first day with our fourth child than I could ever have hoped for.  We came back to the hotel to drop off our things off and have a snack.  Back at the Civil Affairs office, Matteo had retreated somewhat to his withdrawn and non-emotional state, which worried us that he was confused or maybe would be jealous.  He really opened up though once he and Kiera were seated at the table enjoying a snack together.  He even offered Kiera one of his snacks!  For a two-year-old, that’s one heck of a peace offering.  

At that point in the afternoon after no naps, the kids were getting punchy, so we desperately needed to get outside.  We put Matteo in the stroller and I strapped Kiera into the Ergo and we made the trek over to a park our guide had recommended with a playground.  The kids loved it!  They ran around, went down the slide a gazillion times and fearlessly climbed the play equipment.  After being an only child for a week, we could tell Matteo really enjoyed Kiera’s company.  

We stopped for dinner on the walk back from our hotel and then brought two very tired and dirty kids up to the room for a bath.  We were told Kiera took a bath every night, but she didn’t seem to know what to do with herself in the bathtub.  Even though Matteo has only been with us for a week, he rocks the stacking cups. Kiera watched him intently and then he offered one of his cups for her to play with.  The only time Kiera’s confidence appeared to falter was at bedtime.  She wasn’t sure what to think of her pajamas or having her teeth brushed, although, she did eventually allow me to brush them.  I don’t think a bedtime story was ever part of her routine as she seemed even more confused as to what we were doing.  Even though Matteo still doesn’t have the attention span for a book, he at least gets the routine and happily cuddled with his dad as he read.  

All four of us laid in bed together and I braced myself for Kiera to start crying at any moment, but just a few minutes after shuttling off the lights, she was out.  (With a little help from Melatonin.)  Our first day could not have gone any better.

Like Matteo, Kiera is more than we could have ever dreamed for and Chris and I feel so lucky to be her parents.  We’ve only known her for a few hours, but we can tell she’s one cool kid.  She’s got some spunk and confidence to her that is very endearing.  

With both kids asleep, Chris and I toasted the end of our childbearing years (over Chinese beer).  Chris feels relieved, while as I’ve said before, it’s bittersweet for me.  Now that we have the family we had previously only dreamed of, we both look forward to enjoying what we have instead of wishing for something more.  We recognize that we have a lot of hard parenting ahead of us, first in this next week and a half as we try to establish a routine while away from home, and then when we’re home and the honeymoon period has worn off and we’re dealing with the reality of four kids, doctor’s appointments, sibling rivalry and fostering an attachment with two children who are learning a new language and grieving what they’ve lost. Yet I'm so looking forward to this next chapter in our lives.