End of Naps

The milestone parents of preschoolers either dread or look forward to is the dropping of the nap.  If it's your oldest child who no longer needs a nap, this development may not be a welcomed milestone because you're so used to the break and still need it when you have young kids who demand a lot of your energy.  Or if it's your youngest child, you may look forward to this day because no need for an afternoon nap opens up the whole day for the rest of the family. 

Oliver has been in the slow transition towards dropping a nap for months now, but Chris and I never pushed it because we weren't ready.  We looked forward to having quiet time in the middle of the day when the kids were sleeping.  Truthfully, there were days when I felt like I wouldn't make it unless Oliver napped because I so desperately needed that mid-day break.  And because we have a younger child who's napping, Oliver might as well be napping too. 

The transition started when Oliver stopped napping on the weekends.  In fact, aside from the times he's been sick, I can't remember the last time he's napped for us.  Yet, he almost always napped for the nanny.  But eventually he started have trouble going to sleep at night.  Trouble as in two or three hours past his bedtime.  Then Chris went away for a long weekend and I was facing a couple of days by myself with two kids, one of whom was refusing to nap.  My time alone with the kids went surprisingly well because even though Oliver didn't nap, he was actually in a good mood all day and he went to bed on time.  I wasn't getting my mid-day break, but I wasn't spending my precious "me" time in the evening stressing that he wasn't going to sleep.  That's when I decided we were going to cancel Oliver's naps.

Oliver's been "nap-free" for two weeks now and he's doing really well.  There are moments that are tough, like the separation anxiety that resurfaced when leaving him at ECFE.  The class starts at 6:00 p.m. and he's undoubtedly tired by that point.  And our nanny has found him dozed off on the couch mid-day, so it's clear he still needs a bit of sleep on some days.  Surprisingly, he hasn't been going to bed earlier than usual, like I expected, so maybe that's a sign he really was ready to drop a nap.

The transition has been most stressful on our nanny who's trying to keep two boys quiet (we do a nanny share with another newly-minted nap-free child) so Soren can sleep, but it's required Chris and me to give a little too.  I'd prefer Oliver not watch so many videos, but letting the kids watch something on the laptop is sure to keep them quiet, at least for some time.  And our nanny needs a break.  The kids eventually get restless though, so we've got to settle for whatever nap Soren manages before he's woken up by the noise the big kids make. 

Like with any transition, it's about finding a new routine.  For the nanny it's figuring out how to foster quiet time for kids who aren't napping anymore and for me, it's figuring out how to keep Oliver entertained while I also get some semblance of down-time.  This whole no-nap thing has made me realize that at only three and a half, Oliver's better at entertaining himself than I thought.

I admit that dropping a nap was a milestone I dreaded, but after the bedtime struggles we've been through, I'm relieved Oliver has turned this corner.  Now I don't see lost quiet time, but new opportunity.