Happy Halloween!

Following in the footsteps of my mother-in-law, my boys went in matching costumes for Halloween, but instead of matching daisies, I went with something that will be most likely less talked about over the next three decades - train conductors.  My tactic every year has been to find a costume that is easy for me to put together myself (so I feel like I "made" the costume) and wouldn't feel like a costume to the kids. Chris had to talk Oliver into wearing his costume both times, first by having a heart-to-heart with him about how wearing the costume and posing for a picture would mean a lot to Mom, and then tonight by telling him he had to wear his costume if he wanted to get candy.  So simple is good!  Plus, I think my kids look adorable in overalls. 

The best picture I could take of the two kids  together in their costumes.

The Halloween festivities started on Sunday when a friend from my hospital group hosted a Halloween party for all the kiddos.  Many of the parents remembered how Soren was only two weeks old when he attended last year's party.  This year he was in costume like the big kids and enjoyed sitting at the table with them while they painted pumpkins.  The kids also played a version of musical chairs and then everyone shared in a potluck dinner. 

My nanny sent me a picture at work today of Oliver gleefully scooping seeds from a giant pumpkin.  In her couple of years in this country, she had yet to carve a pumpkin, so I was surprised that she gave it a shot with the kids.  It turns out that at the weekly story time they attend, the librarian read a book that teaches kids how to make a jack-o-lantern, and it inspired her.  The nanny's well-executed jack-o-lantern in turn inspired Chris to carve the other two pumpkins displayed by our front door.  I made a last-minute run to the store to buy tea lights and by the time dusk approached, three jack-o-lanterns sat ablaze on our stoop. 

Soren was so tired this evening that he happily went to bed super early and missed out on trick-or-treating.  Oliver was really excited about getting candy, so we headed next door to the neighbor's house.  He can talk so much more compared with last year and had his lines memorized.  Our neighbor's daughter came out in costume to greet Oliver and the kids posed for some pictures and compared their loot and I thought we were off to a good start.  Then a group of kids approached, Oliver caught a glimpse of the lead kid's scary mask and he screamed.  I haven't seen him that scared since he was a baby.  The boy with the mask felt so bad that he'd scared Oliver that much and immediately whipped his mask off to show him it was just pretend.  Unfortunately, that experience killed Oliver's enthusiasm for trick-or-treating.  We coaxed him into going to two other houses, but then he wanted to sit on the front step, eat his treats and watch the other trick-or-treaters roam the street. 

Potty Training Milestone

I'm going to go out on a limb and officially declare Oliver potty trained.  He can tell us when he needs to go and he wears underwear all day, even for nap time.  However, his potty training status still comes with a couple of caveats.  He still wears a diaper or pull-up at night, and he often holds his bowel movements until then, and until this weekend, had never used a toilet away from home. 

What I've learned in this process is that potty training isn't a line drawn in the sand with not being potty trained clearly on one side of the line and being potty trained on the other side.  So that means potty trained kids may still need to wear a diaper or pull-up during naps or nighttime for a long time after they have mastered using the toilet during waking hours.  It means that even if your kid can tell you he needs to go, his head's up may be that he has to go NOW.  And of course that means there will be plenty of accidents and inconveniences, like your child announcing he needs to go as soon as you get to the park, which has no bathroom.  And your child may still need help dressing, undressing and wiping. 

Our nanny can take the credit for potty training Oliver.  Since I was dreading the process, I didn't know where to start.  Once she thought he was ready, she set up a sticker chart, promised him a new truck when he had accumulated a certain number of stickers and put him in underwear.  Her initiative was the jump start to our half-hearted attempt to potty train.  Oliver had proved to us back in April that he could use the potty and then we let the process drag on too long.  I read recently that not only do the kids have to be ready for potty training, but the parents do too.  So I shouldn't be too hard on us.  Clearly, Chris and I were not ready. 

Our nanny led potty training has had its ups and downs, but overall, once we committed ourselves to potty training, it at least was a one-step-back, but two-steps-forward kind of process.  In hindsight, I would have kept Oliver in diapers until we got back from our trip to New York City, during which he stayed with his grandparents, and from the beginning, I would have stopped using diapers all together during the daytime since I was using every opportunity - basically any time we stepped away from home - to let him wear a pull-up.  In the end, it was Oliver's stubbornness that forced me to ditch diapers completely because I grew so frustrated with him resisting wearing underwear and using the potty after each use of a diaper or pull-up.  Once we overcame that power struggle, he got the hang of using the potty after just a couple of days and we haven't looked back. 

I don't know why I was so fixated on potty training.  Every parent of older children had promised me that my child wouldn't be heading off to kindergarten in diapers.  He'd eventually just do it.  And the usual pressure parents feel - preschool - ended up being just hype when Oliver's preschool teacher assured us that it was okay to send him to school in pull-ups and potty training should be the last thing on our minds.  And now I think it's silly that I had thought I needed to have Oliver potty trained before Soren arrived in order to make my life easier just because I'd hear other parents bemoan the idea of two in diapers.  I ended up having the opposite opinion, because I can't imagine how I would have handled potty training a toddler on that little sleep.

Teammates

A friend of mine who's in the same stage of life as I am with two young kids (her older son was born on the same day as Oliver) posted on Facebook about picking your partner wisely if you want kids with that person.

"I've come to learn that the most important - and underrated - quality in a spouse is how you handle stress as a team, especially related to kids. When they are screaming, crying, throwing food and having tantrums, you have to be able to (attempt to) handle them and then be able to look at each other at the end of the day. I'm lucky to have the best guy in my corner.  That's my PSA for unhitched folks who want kids some day. Pick a really, really good teammate."
 

Being teammates is a core part of my parenting philosophy too.  The screaming, crying, food throwing and tantrums are regular occurrences at my house as well and when our tempers as parents are nearing a boiling point or we're in disagreement on discipline or rules, a reminder of "same team" or "united front" is usually enough to remind the other to dial it back down.  And it's at those moments when I'm reminded how lucky I am that I picked a really good teammate. 

By the time I met Chris, I knew I wanted to get married and have children, so I didn't waste my time with anyone who didn't share those life goals.  And I wouldn't have married Chris if I didn't think he'd not only be a good husband, but a good father too.  However, I know it never occurred to me that being good parents goes beyond simply Chris being a good father and I being a good mother, but how well we work together as a team and under stress.  The 11 best soccer players in the world don't make the best team if they can't agree who's going to play what position and if no one passes the ball.     

There was one day not too long ago that was one of the most stressful in recent memory as a parent.  I can't even remember what happened that day except that I felt like I had reached my breaking point multiple times and the tantrums, screaming and power struggles had left Chris in not much of a better mood.  I felt guilty for bickering with him.  I didn't think the kids' bedtimes could come fast enough and once they were finally in bed, I didn't have the emotional energy to interact with anyone for the rest of the night.  Then I looked at Chris, who looked as emotionally drained as I felt, and offered an olive branch. 

"Tomorrow has gotta be better than today was," I acknowleged. 

To my relief, Chris laughed and gave me a big hug.  To have that stressful of day and know that my partner still loved me and still thought I was a good mom, yeah, I have the best guy in my corner. 

Você fala português?

As I prepared dinner one evening, I asked Oliver if he wanted milk to drink?  "Actually, that's leite," he said in Portuguese.  For the past six weeks his Brazilian nanny has been slowly introducing her native language to Oliver and Soren.  We did not hire Liula because she speaks a second language, and in fact, she was the only bilingual candidate, but when she offered to teach our kids Portuguese, we said, "Great!" 

It's been fun to hear Oliver say the new words he's learning and catch glimpses of this new language in our lives, like Oliver's drawings labeled with Portuguese words or the computer open to a Brazilian kids video on You Tube.  However, we're letting the language acquisition take hold at whatever level it will happen and are not pushing it or pinning high hopes on rearing Portuguese-speaking children. 

Language immersion is a hot topic and fostering it is something monolingual parents struggle with.  In St. Paul alone we're lucky to have three well-respected bilingual K-8 schools - French, Spanish and German.  But if none of these schools is a good fit for your child and your child isn't learning a second language from a parent - or a nanny - can you realistically expect your child to learn another language fluently?  There are tutors, language camps, private bilingual preschools, books, videos and other supplemental resources, but at what cost in time and money are you willing to invest?  And invest over the long-term?   

I would love for my kids to speak a second language fluently.  I just don't know how realistic it is at this age because I know I don't have the time, energy or resources to make sure they sustain fluency in another language.  We got lucky that we have a nanny whose native language isn't English and who has offered to teach it to our kids. But even though our kids are three and one and are at a perfect age to learn another language, they're also at the age where they can easily lose a language if we don't help them retain it. Liula is our only connection to the Portuguese language and we don't know how long she'll continue to care for our kids.  She's as realistic as I am for expectations of foreign language acquisition.  The two children she cared for during her two years as an au pair no longer speak or even understand Portuguese, and it breaks her heart. 

Of course there are still benefits even if kids don't retain the second language.  Oliver and Soren are learning that other languages and cultures do exist and they're learning Liula's culture in addition to the language.  She cooks them Brazilian foods, made traditional chocolate birthday treats for Oliver's birthday and sings them the songs she learned as a kid.   And Portuguese provides a good foundation for learning another romance language, particularly Spanish, should Oliver and/or Soren choose that subject in school. 

Despite the unquantifiable impacts of teaching our kids another language, we told Liula to still proceed with Portuguese. I said we never know where life will take us. A Brazilian family could move in next store or the future best friend of one of our kids could be a native Portuguese speaker. Who knows, we could even end up living in Brazil someday. 

Soren's First Birthday Party

It was a big birthday for Soren, so I arranged for all his favorite things on his day. He got his 2.5 teeth cleaned, was held by strangers (hey, they did sing Happy Birthday to him) and then topped the day off by getting a bath. The next day he had his 12-month wellness check-up, which included four immunizations, a flu shot and a blood draw.  And his mom and dad didn't even get him a birthday gift.  Oy vey!

One thing I've learned when it comes to first birthdays is that babies don't really care.  The day, and especially the party, are totally about the parents.  Since Soren's birthday fell on Thursday, the day was pretty much business as usual, including the dentist appointment.  Oliver and I greeted Soren in the morning by singing him Happy Birthday and then I purposefully went into work a little late just to get some extra time with Soren before his morning nap. 

So that was his actual birthday, but on Saturday, we were finally able to celebrate Soren's birthday properly.  Daddy took him to the Children's Museum in the morning and then Grandma, Grandpa, Uncle Andy and Papa Danielle came over for dinner.  The adage about kids enjoying the box more than the gift inside rang true when we presented Soren with a huge box my dad and stepmother shipped and instead of trying to open it, he gleefully climbed on top of the box.  We convinced him that his grandparents had not just mailed him a jungle gym and we showed him how to rip the wrapping paper off and he thought that was neat.  Eventually our small living room floor was covered in new toys and I doubted that he missed a gift from mom and dad.  Chris's parents were thoughtful enough to give Soren some bath toys and wrote in his birthday card, "We just want you to be happy."  Oliver loved all of Soren's new toys too and wanted to cut the party short so he could get a bath and play with the new tugboat Soren received.

After opening gifts, we enjoyed dinner and birthday cake.  We were wise this time around and held Soren far away from the cake and the flames of the candles.  Soren was barely into dinner, so I didn't think he'd even bother with the cake.  And given how's recently started throwing food on the floor, I was prepared for him to do that with his birthday cake without even tasting it!  Instead, he just stared at the cake and then stared at us.  Eventually he decided to try one of the strawberries and finally picked up a piece of cake and took a big bite. 

Soren Update: 12 Months

Soren is still a little peanut, but the doctor said he's following his growth curves nicely and even though he's on the small side, he is right where he should be.  At 18 pounds, he's under the 5th percentile, but he's in the 25th and 26th percentile for height and head circumference.  (29 inches and 18 inches respectively.)  He can still fit in most 6/9 month or 9 month clothes, although some of the pants and sleepers are starting to be too short for him. 

What is growing may be his hair!  Many have commented that they think his hair is starting to grow in.  He still is many, many months away from his first haircut. 

We think Soren is going to be a climber and a daredevil.  Oliver never attempted to climb out of his crib, but I can see Soren giving it a try.  If we lie on the floor to play with him, he likes to climb all over us.  He's learned how to climb off the couch and then at the playground, he'll push himself down the slide.  I know many two-year-olds who need coaxing to go down the slide!  We have a couple of riding toys, and he loves having anyone push him so he can cruise up and down the sidewalks.  He's game for about anything.  Of course, whatever Oliver is doing, but also chilling out in the swing or taking walks in the stroller.  He acts like a dog whose seen his leash by trying to dive out of our arms when we head outside for a walk and he sees the stroller set up on the sidewalk. 

Other things that Soren likes to do is play with his Little People barn and anything with wheels.  It's cute and amazing how he is already making vehicle noises whenever he plays with the plethora of cars, trucks and trains we have around here.

He also likes to play peekaboo.  He picks up any random piece of cloth, whether a spare diaper or his jacket and holds it in front of his face.  Or he'll crawl behind the leg of a chair or into another room and peek out from behind the corner and smile a huge grin.  I imagine he could play peekaboo for as long as we have the patience for it. 

Being a child with an older sibling, Soren has been exposed to more screen time than Oliver was.  Plus, we recently bought an iPad, which immediately became a favorite "toy" of Oliver's.  We have not yet let Soren play with the iPad, yet when he toddled over to my computer, his first reaction was to swipe his finger across the screen!  It could have been a coincidence since he is starting to put at things when I read him books, or maybe not. 

Just after 11 months, we switched Soren to cow's milk/soy milk and have never looked back.  I noticed we were about to run out of formula, and before buying another canister, I gave him a bottle of milk and he sucked it down.  I couldn't believe I didn't have to mix it with formula or heat it up.  He'll even hold his own bottle and drink from a sippy cup.  The only reason I haven't completely ditched the bottle is that I think he drinks more when someone is feeding him and I find the bottle easier.  Plus, I enjoy those few minutes throughout the day when I get to curl up with him while I give him a bottle. 

Something else that's impressed me on the feeding front is that he can drink from a cup.  Since he was probably six months old, he's been wanting to take sips of water from my glass if he sees me drinking.  Now I pour a little bit of water in a small plastic cup and let him hold it and lift it to his mouth while I gently hold the bottom of the cup so he doesn't drop it.  I learned the hard way that while he's got the whole drinking from a cup thing down, like anything else he handles, he drops when he's finished with it. 

Like a lot of babies his age, Soren experiences separation anxiety.  We had a couple of rough weeks at ECFE where he's been really upset when I left and I actually had to pick him up early last week because he never completely settled down.  If he's distracted enough playing, I can maybe leave the living room to go into the kitchen, but if I leave the first floor or try to go to the bathroom, he crawls after me crying.  That all said, his separation anxiety barely registers on the list of things that are stressing me out.  There's usually so much chaos and commotion going on at my house that Soren crying because I left the room is drowned out by all the other noise.  But it's also because his separation anxiety is no where near as bad as what Oliver went through.  For months I was the only person Oliver would let hold him and at 12 months, although he'd gotten used to certain family members, he SCREAMED if I left his sight.   

Despite his separation anxiety and mom's ability to comfort him instantly, he's forming quite the attachment to Chris too.  It's often that I'm holding him and he sees his daddy and leans toward him wanting to be held.  He still lights up and makes a beeline for the back door when he hears Chris come home. 

As of press time, Soren stood on his own for the first time, but that was after we propped him up on his feet.  He hasn't gone from sitting to standing without holding onto anything and I'm not sure if his first steps are close or not.  For now it seems he's content with crawling.  He's quite speedy! 

Soren's sleep is going through yet another transition.  Its seems like we'd just gotten used to a great routine of Soren taking a nap first thing in the morning and then napping again when Oliver naps in the afternoon.  The timing of the naps was about as good as it can get when you have kids of different ages.  However, for the past couple of weeks, we can't count on Soren to take his morning nap, or at least not first thing in the morning like he used to. We understandably really hope his afternoon nap continues to mirror Oliver's, so our strategy for the time-being is to let him go down when he's tired, even if that's an hour later than usual, but then wake him up by 10 a.m. This not only lets us actually go somewhere in the morning, but also allows him to fall asleep for his afternoon nap around noon when Oliver goes down.

Soren continues to have a healthy appetite and enjoys a wider variety of foods than your average baby, but I expect that to change as he speeds towards toddlerhood.  And maybe his good nature relationship in food is starting to change.  Just a few days ago he started throwing food off his tray.  Even if he wasn't hungry or didn't like whatever we gave him, he usually sat contently in his booster seat and often would eventually eat.  Not so much anymore.  A couple times now he's immediately thrown everything off his tray as soon as I sat him down.  I'm better prepared with a response this time around and if he throws food, I assume he's not hungry and I take his tray away.   

Double Dentist Appointments

If Soren ever gets really mad at me someday and wants something to hold against me, it'll probably be that I took him to the dentist on his first birthday.  Oliver's six-month cleaning in August had to be rescheduled because of our vacation and Soren's birthday was the next post-nap appointment I could get.  Since Soren now has teeth (2.5 of them) and it doesn't cost anything extra with our insurance to have him seen, it made sense to have the dentist take a peek in his mouth and verify there are no major problems. 

As you can imagine, there's not a lot you can do with a one-year-old.  My otherwise easy-going baby was very vocal about having his teeth cleaned, but the seasoned hygienist managed to clean them, apply fluoride treatment and inspect his gums for more emerging teeth (a fourth is about the break the gum line).  As soon as she was finished, I scooped Soren up into my arms and he let out an indignant sigh or two, but immediately stopped crying.  The hygienist rinsed off his toothbrush and tried to give it to him, but Soren, who had been curiously playing with it before she used it to clean his teeth, started crying again when he saw it. 

Since Oliver has more than 2.5 teeth, his visit with the dentist was much more tiring for me.  He was terrified of the big chair, but he stayed there, because once I sat him in it, he was too scared to try to get off it.  With the assistance of two hygienists and the dentist, they miraculously coaxed him into not crying long enough to take two x-rays, one of which was too blurry for the dentist to use.  I had talked with him about how the dentist needs to clean our teeth to make sure they stay healthy and that if we don't sit still, it's harder for them to keep our teeth healthy.  Maybe some of that sunk in, because the teeth cleaning was mildly, but only mildly, better than the ordeal of having x-rays taken.  Finally, the dentist wanted to inspect his teeth and even manage to floss them, which I thought was an impossible task!  I had assumed that Oliver has all his teeth by now, but he actually only has 19 of the 20 and two of those 19 aren't fully in.  I still think his proclamations at bedtime that his "teefs hurts" are mostly stall tactics, but I also wonder if there is some merit to them.   

Since Oliver needed so much of my attention during all this, the dentist had asked if someone from her staff could hold Soren for me.  So the receptionist came back and took him to the waiting room to look at the fish and when they came back, she told me that the hygienists, the other receptionist and the others in the waiting room sang "Happy Birthday" to him.  I thought that was sweet.

With both cleanings finished and the crying over, I thought we were in the clear.  But then Oliver dug into the snack bag and pulled out fruit snacks, which he waved in my face while I was talking to the dentist.  The conversation stopped and I could see her hold her breath and I knew I was in trouble for something.  She then informed me that fruit snacks are worse than juice, chocolate and hard candy for your teeth.  So if Oliver wants to know why fruit snacks are now banned from our house, there you have it. 

Since I do ALL the healthcare appointments, I'm used to the routine and was prepared for the crying, but gosh, even I was exhausted once we left the dentist's office.   

12 Months Ago

Tonight I spent the evening looking at pictures of Soren from the past 12 months.  I've shared many on Facebook, but I've taken so many that even as I took them, I knew that many only I would ever see.  But I still take pictures so that on occasions like tonight, the night before Soren's first birthday, I can reminisce.  I almost cried looking at pictures from his first days and weeks of life when I realized that I can't remember anymore what Soren looked like or how small he once was if it weren't for pictures.  But I also looked in awe at some pictures that I probably haven't looked at since I first uploaded them from my camera. And of course when looking at pictures that span the first year of Soren's life, I was amazed by his physical transformation in that time. 

In folder upon folder of pictures, there's occasionally one of me.  And I reflected on my own transformation.  At this time twelve months ago, I was in labor, and what I guess can be an exhilarating (even if painful) time in a woman' life, was not so for me.  I was in pain, of course, but also terrified.  I was anxious about being able to handle a second kid and how I'd manage physically if I had another c-section.  There was really nothing positive about my labor either.  Not the ineffective epidurals and a baby in a posterior position, not the uncaring labor and delivery nurse, not the OB with bad beside manner, not the long labor and finally, not, an unsuccessful VBAC and another c-section. 

Even though there's a lot regarding Soren's birth that's still painful for me, the 12 months that followed have been exhilarating.  I fell in love with him almost immediately and now can't remember what my life was like without him.  Everyone says the first year of a baby's life goes by so quickly, but I feel like Soren's first year has gone by even faster than Oliver's.  That's possibly because we weren't adjusting to being parents and our lives just got that much crazier with two kids.  Despite the chaos and lack of sleep that are now part of my life, when I think back on this past year with Soren, I just think about how happy I am with him in my life.   

Twin Cities 5K

I should probably credit my workplace's participation in the Corporate Challenge for the Twin Cities 5K for motivating me to keep running.  I already taken the first step towards becoming a runner again by blocking time off on my calendar and actually going out for a run.  I think I ran for ten minutes that first run since I had had a baby and walked the rest.  A few torturous runs later I had built myself up to running for 20 minutes - with a break at the halfway point.  So when a co-worker e-mailed the office to recruit everyone for our company team for the Twin Cities 5K, I signed up that day.  Even when I went for weeks without running because it was too hot to run mid-day during the scorching summer we had, being signed up for the race motivated me to pick up my training where I left off when the weather cooled down.  And even when I felt frustrated that I never managed to run more than twice a week, I was out again the following week.

Although it was 80+ degrees earlier this week, when I woke up this morning, the sun struggled to peak out of the clouds on a 38-degree morning.  That's a Minnesota fall for you.  I dug through the duffle bag of winter sports clothing I store in the back of a closet and pulled out long underwear, gloves, a headband and a pair of running tights I prayed would still fit.  (Thank goodness they stretch.)  Chris stayed home with the kids and I jumped in the car and made my way to the Capitol grounds, where the race would start and then worked its way uphill towards Summit Avenue.

Amidst the two thousand people at the starting line, I stood with my colleagues and teammates and waited for the starting gun to go off.  Our team consisted of marathon runners, those who were getting back into running after years-long hiatuses and those who in their 40s and 50s were running their first race.  I quickly lost them when the race started as many of them sped ahead with the fast runners.  I, on the other hand, have taken the motto of my dad's old running club, the Tortuga Golden Striders, to heart.  Start slowly, then ease off.   

The incline up Summit Avenue was steeper and longer than I remembered from running the race five years ago, but the thrill of competition was still the same.  I paced myself well and was tired when I finished, but felt great.  That was the runner's high I was looking for!  I finished in 30:38, which was about a minute and a half or two minutes slower than the last time I ran the Twin Cities 5K, but still a minute faster than the race for state employees I participated in two weeks ago.   

The race hasn't been over for more than a few hours and I'm already wondering how I'm going to stay motivated to keep active during the colder months.  It might be time to wax my cross country skis, sign up for the City of Lakes Loppet and end another sport's racing hiatus. 

Cradle Cap

I always thought cradle cap was something only babies got, so I was shocked when I took Oliver in for a haircut and the hairdresser pointed out that he had a bad case of it.  I spent the next nine months trying to get rid of it. Oliver hadn't started growing hair until about 18 months and didn't get his first haircut until age two, so until that point, I would have noticed anything amiss immediately.  So the cradle cap went easily unnoticed after he finally grew hair.

After months of washing Olive'rs hair with Selsum Blue, which is what his pediatrician had recommended to use to get rid of the cradle cap he had as an infant, it showed no signs of clearing up.  I finally resorted to what you're not supposed to do and I turned to Google. On a message board somewhere in the depths of the Internet, another mom mentioned she put olive oil in her daughter's hair, let it sit for 15 minutes, and then combed away the softened skin scales with a fine-toothed comb. 

Instead of olive oil, I used jojoba oil since it doesn't stain because I wasn't sure how easily I'd wash all the oil out of Oliver's hair.  Oliver hates having his hair wash and was even less happy about having me repeatedly comb his hair and pick at his scalp, but the treatment worked!  I'm glad I didn't resort to buzzing his hair, which had been my other idea.

Reading List

Oliver is finally at the age where reading him books is exactly as I imagined it would be with a child.  We can curl up in bed together as I read him a bedtime story and the stories are ones that even I as an adult find clever or amusing.  Since I think Oliver responds well to learning from books, I enjoy finding books on specific subjects.  We gotten the standard books on being a big brother, potty training and brushing his teeth, but before we took a trip to the Jersey Shore, I bought him some books about the beach.  And each year at Christmas, I add a few more books to the stash I only bring out at the holidays. 

Where do I find good books?  I ask my teacher friends and other parents.  I see what books my kids are attracted to at the library or in their ECFE classroom.  Sometimes I just randomly search the Internet.  Before that trip to the beach, I typed "ocean" into the search box on Amazon and started reading reviews.  Various organizations publish lists of good books, like Children's Notable List, which the Association for Library Service to Children compiles annually. 

So this is what Oliver is reading at age three:

• Hello Ocean by Pam Munoz Ryan
• Snowy Day by Ezra Jack Keats
• Over and Under the Snow by Kate Messner and Christopher Silas Neal (Illustrator)
• The Seashore Book Charlotte Zolotow and Wendell Minor (Illustrator) - This one has a special place in my heart, because it's about a mom whose son asks her to describe the seashore to him.  I got this book shortly before Oliver and Soren saw the ocean for the first time. 
• Beach Day by Karen Roosa and Maggie Smith (Illustrator)
• Harold and the Purple Crayon by Crockett Johnson
• Chicka Chicka Boom Boom by Bill Martin Jr., John Archambault and Lois Ehlert (Illustrator)
• Clarabella's Teeth by An Vrombaut
• Happy Birthday, Moon by Frank Asch - This was a fitting book to give Oliver for his birthday since he always points out the moon to me. 
• Even Firefighters Go to the Potty by Wendy Wax, Naomi Wax and Stephen Gilpin (Illustrator)
• Oliver Finds His Way by Phyllis Root and Christopher Denise (Illustrator)
• If You Give a Moose a Muffin by Laura Joffe Numeroff and Felicia Bond (Illustrator)
• Grow Flower, Grow! by Lisa Bruce and Rosalind Beardshaw (Illustrator)
• Llama Llama Red Pajama and Llama Llama Misses Mama by Anna Dewdney
• Freight Train by Donald Crews
• Olivia by Ian Falconer
• Apple Trouble! by Ragnhild Scamell and Michael Terry (Illustrator)
• The Little Engine That Could by Watty Piper
• Snowbaby Could Not Sleep by Kara LaReau and Jim Ishikawa (Illustrator)
• The Construction Alphabet Book by Jerry Pallotta
• All for Pie, Pie for All by David Martin and Valeri Gorbachev (Illustrator)
• Any of the Courdoroy books
• Any of the How Do Dinosaurs...? books (How Do Dinosaurs Clean Their Rooms? How Do Dinosaurs Play with Their Friends?)