Soren is only a few months old and for, well, a few months now, I've been asked by tons of people if we want another kid. In fact, on my first day on the new job, I had three people ask me this, one right in front of one of the managers who interviewed me. Most of the inquiries are unprovoked, but given how open I am talking about my kids in general, maybe I get more of these questions than most. People so openly ask me if I want more kids and then act shocked when I answer yes. To try to rationalize why I would want more than two kids, they hone in on the fact that I have two boys, and the next comment I often hear is, "Oh, you're going to try for a girl!"
No I'm not trying for a girl! I don't get this trying for a certain sex. I get hoping for one sex or another. If you want to have three kids and the first two are one sex, I get hoping to the third is the other sex. But to decide as a couple that you want only two kids, end up with two of the same sex, and then change your mind and decide to "try for a _____" by having a third is just crazy to me. Kids are a lot of work. I'm planning my family size based on how many kids we want, can afford and can handle, not based on how many kids of one sex or another we end up with. So then what happens when you end up with a third child the same sex as the first two? Be disappointed the third wasn't the "right" sex? Try for a fourth?
I love shocking people by telling them that, no, in fact we're actually trying for another boy. As ludicrous as I think their line of thinking is, it's just as unfathomable to them that I'd want another boy. As much as I say that for the shock factor, I'd really be very happy with another boy. I think Oliver and Soren are the best sons a mom could ask for, so why wouldn't I want a third awesome boy? Which one would I trade in for a girl to achieve the "perfect" family of mom, dad, two kids, one of each? Nope, I love my boys, I'll love my future boys (or girls), and think I've got the perfect family just the way it is.
Kiera, Matteo, Oliver and Soren
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I totally agree. Now that we have one of each, I've already gotten that comment so many times... oh, now you have your boy or oh, now you have one of each. So what? I don't get it. I would have been totally happy with either a boy or a girl and will be happy with the third regardless. I come from a family of three girls and my parents never thought they were "missing out" because they didn't have any boys... the same way I don't feel I'm "missing out" because I now have one of each. In fact, we have friends who were trying for a girl this time around and are now having another boy and I feel sorry for them that they can't just be happy for being blessed with a healthy pregnancy and likely a healthy baby. Good for you!
ReplyDeleteYeah, I never understood that either! We don't plan on having another child, but even if we were, we certainly wouldn't care either way about the sex. When we found out our second child would be a girl, we were excited, but we certainly didn't get pregnant in order to "try" for that girl. We just simply wanted more than one child, regardless of sex. Your response is great though...I love having a son too. Way to throw them off guard! :)
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