Sharing a birthday

Although my first ultrasound gave me a due date of October 3, the initial estimate was September 29, which is significant to Chris and me because that's Oliver's birthday. Now we're looking at the unlikely, but totally possible, scenario of having two kids born on the same day (two years apart). Chris thinks our kids sharing a birthday would be the worst thing in the world, while I think it would be great. I showed him an article I happened to read recently about a family of three who all have the same birthday. I thought it was really special, but given Chris's reaction, I'm glad I wasn't born on September 12, or maybe Chris would have never wanted to marry me.

I only share a birthday with one person close to me. I've always thought it was neat, and though I'm not normally big into my birthday, I do find it fun when we talk about "our birthday." We went out this past year, just the two of us, to celebrate and were both disappointed that the bouncer checking our IDs didn't notice that it was our birthday, let alone that we have the same birthday.

But she's a friend, not an immediate relative, and we met well past the age of goody bags, roller skating and sleepover parties, and choosing the flavor of cake we wanted, and all the other things that marked birthdays of our youth. So I'm on the lookout for sibling groups born on the same day so I can ask them, did you love it or hate it?

The only siblings I'm friends with who share a birthday are twins, so I started with them. One laughed when I asked her what she thought, because of course she knew no differently. Shared birthday parties and even identical presents in identical wrapping (okay, that was a little annoying) were just part of the deal with being a twin. But they always got separate cakes of their choosing, which actually meant a birthday pie for one of them. One thing she enjoys about her birthday as an adult is not having to open presents at the same time as her sister. Because of all those identical presents, the two quickly caught on that if one opened a gift before the other, the surprise was ruined, so they agreed to count to three before tearing into a present.

At least the twins' parents got it right with making separate cakes. Another friend of mine is two years and two days younger than her sister. Until she was in grade school, her mom only made one cake, which her sister, being the older, more dominate one, inevitably ended up choosing. I can imagine if my brother and I were born on the same day, like my friend's mom, my mom would have tried to get away with combining as much as possible for a shared birthday, but I don't think even she would have gone as far as one cake.

Of all the stories I've heard about shared or nearly-shared birthdays, I'm still not convinced it would be a tragic situation for my kids. I do think it would be more work as a parent to accommodate different wishes and tastes, and maybe not even possible in all circumstances to do, say, separate parties, but I still think it would be very special - at least in the long run. As a kid, sharing a birthday might be a pain, but long after the excitement and magic of birthdays wears off, you'll still have that bond with someone.

I predict my kids will have birthdays no more than one week apart, so whether they share a birthday or not, Chris and I will still face the challenge of making each feel special in a month crowded with milestones. (Their Uncle Scott's birthday is September 9, dad's is September 12, parent's anniversary is September 13 and then the month ends with Oliver's birthday on September 29.) But you can probably guess what I'm thinking right now. What's special about being a week apart when you can have the same birthday?