Exploring the Unexpected Costs of Kids

I like to read the Motherlode blog on the New York Times website. The author writes about a parenting-related subject and asks for reader comments. Last week's subject was about the unexpected cost of children.

http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/03/02/unexpected-costs-of-kids/

You can wait to have kids until you're financially ready, reduce household expenses in preparation, open that 529 plan the day the kid is born and educate yourself on what kind of costs you will incur with kids, (most researched likely is the cost of childcare) and well, life is full of financial curve balls. Some of the "out-of-pocket" costs of children are truly unpredictable, (medical costs) others are the result of inexperience or unreastic expectations. (Did I really think I'd find all my kid's clothing needs at garage sales?)

The following is a list of some of the unexecpted costs Chris and I encountered.

Utility Costs
Chris did predict that if I'm home with the baby we'd be spending more to cool or heat the house during the day, run appliances and light the house. We've never actually calculated how much more electricity we use, but use more, spend more.

What we didn't think about was the increased costs of heating the house at night. This winter we resumed turning the thermostat down at night, but last winter for fear of letting our newborn die of hypothermia in his own crib, the thermostat stayed at the same temperature day and night.

Clothing
Like most expectant parents, we received many clothes as gifts and I diligently rounded out the wardrobe of our future baby by shopping at consignment and garage sales. Our baby was cheaply clothed until he outgrew the 6-9-month size and I discovered I had NOTHING in bigger sizes for cold weather. It was late winter and my bargaining shopping options weren't going to start up again until spring. So I bought new clothes and tried to make myself feel better about the purchases because they were on sale. And since then, I've found myself making large-batch purchases for my son about four times a year. Then there are the winter jackets, snow boots, mittens, rain boots, new shoes and other more expensive wardrobe purchases. Of course I knew we would need to spend money to clothe our child, but I never thought about how many clothes he would need, how often and at what cost. And while I'm clearly not above garage sale clothes, I do have standards and won't dress Oliver in just anything. I've discovered I have styles for him I like and will pay more for clothes I think he looks cute in.

Toys and Books
Okay, so toys and books fall into the non-essentials category, but realistically, your kids need things (aside from you) to entertain them. And although child experts remind parents that you don't need expensive toys, or even conventional toys, because boxes, wooden spoons and tupperware containers are plenty, let's admit that toys are fun. Most of Oliver's toys are second-hand or gifts, but books take a beating, so the options for second-hand books of good quality have been limited. Second-hand or not, I find it difficult to resist surprising Oliver with something I think he'll enjoy.

Activities
I was convinced that fun could be had for free and that kids, especially babies, don't need expensive activities. I do seek out the free activities - we go to story times, tot time at the local rec center and loads of playdates through my moms group - but that's really it when it comes to free, especially in the winter. So I gave up the has-to-be-free-or-we're-not-doing-it. Our early childhood education classes are heavily subsidized, but not free, and we've gotten bang for our buck with the children's museum membership, but there's still an upfront cost.

Another frugally-minded friend said that while she also believes that activities and fun don't need to be expensive, she realized that creating experiences and memories for your children sometimes do cost money. If your kid is interested in sports, you at least want him to play in a city rec league, even if you can't afford the travel team.

Food
How much can a little baby eat? A lot. Although we never bought jars of expensive organic baby food because we did baby-led weaning, our grocery bill surely went up when Oliver started solids at six months. I didn't want to give my baby junk, so more fruits, vegetables and high-quality bread were added to our grocery cart. Before Oliver became a grazer around a year of age, he could plow through two pieces of toast at a sitting and ate an average of three pieces of fruit a day. Good portions of his meals ended up mashed to pieces or on the floor as he learned to handle food, but now that he's in his picky phase, he turns his nose up at more food than he'll willingly dig into. Either way, a lot of food is wasted.

Medical Expenses
We were prepared to pay more when we had to upgrade to the family medical insurance plan after the baby was born, and we factored the higher insurance premiums into our new budget. Luckily, preventative care is free, so we don't pay anything, even a co-pay for any of Oliver's wellness check-ups or the accompanying vaccinations. However, we never thought about how much we'd pay for doctor's visits for all the minor illnesses even healthy babies inevitably catch. We had crunched the numbers before Oliver arrived and determined that the health savings account plan, with its low monthly premiums and employer contribution, but high deductible and out-of-pocket expenses, was still the most affordable. But it still stings to get an $88 bill for the follow-up visit to the $150 ear infection visit, which didn't include the $30 antibiotic prescribed after the $8 antibiotic didn't work. Oliver's case of croup in early February resulted in five bills: $425 for the emergency room care, $34 for the x-rays, $1,512 for the hospital stay, $150 for the pediatrician who discharged him from the hospital and $94 for the follow-up a few days later with his regular pediatrician.

Unplanned-for or Unnecessary Baby Gear
You did all the research before the baby arrived and think you have exactly what you need. You're proud of yourself because your planning meant that each item was well-researched and purchased at the best price. Then your kid hates the swing everyone else said lulled their babies to sleep or being strapped into the $120 Ergo people like me rave about. Or you have to buy a second pack 'n' play because your 20th-in-percentile-height kid outgrew seemingly overnight the one you bought before his birth, when you didn't know that pack 'n' plays don't come in a standard size, so you inadvertently bought the smaller one. Or you find yourself at Target last-minute buying a $35 name-brand ear thermometer, (of course the store-brand one is out of stock) because you can't stand the thought of another night of middle-of-the-night temperature checks with the rectal thermometer that at $8 had served you well until now. You can't predict how many bottles, sippy cups and bibs you'll buy until you find the brands that work for your kid. Or what gear it makes sense to pay for higher quality and where you can cheap out.