Soren Update: 3.5 Years

Soren is in an odd position in our family right now.  He's close in age to his "virtual triplet" siblings, but often appears so much more developmentally advanced than Kiera and Matteo, who are still playing catch-up in many areas. The reality is that Soren is more advanced in many ways, such as being the only one of the three who can carry on a conversation.  For the time-being Soren has a lot more in common with Oliver, who he likes to build Legos with and engages in play with him that looks more collaborative than the parallel play Kiera and Matteo exhibit.  Yet it's not fair to compare him with Oliver either, who is two years older.  Soren is not new to this family like Kiera and Matteo are, who as a result, are given a lot of leeway in acclimating, and he's not old enough to process the last few months of change in the way Oliver can.  I need to remind myself that he's only three and a half. 

The first few weeks after we got home from China were pretty emotional for Soren.  So many people suggest that his feelings are the result of all the change in his life, whereas I see a little boy who held it together when his parents went away for three weeks and then let all his anxiety out once we returned.  He was happy we returned, even happy that we brought two new siblings with us, but those weeks were about learning to trust that we weren't going to leave him again.

Being tired probably also affects Soren's emotions. He hasn't napped for months now and if he does, he's awake until it's my bedtime.  He generally does fine, but that does not mean he isn't tired.  If we're driving somewhere in the afternoon, more often than not, he falls asleep. He's always been a pretty laid-back kid who doesn't meltdown when he's tired, but that doesn't mean he doesn't get sensitive.  I've just accepted that he's at the age where he's too old to nap, but too young to make it through the day. 

We came home from China surprised that Soren had started to refuse to wear pull-ups to bed and had been waking up dry.  We thought we were officially past the potty-training stage with him until he had a string of nighttime accidents not long after our return.  We encouraged him to give pull-ups another try and because we were exhausted, we were relieved he agreed, even if reluctantly. 

One thing Soren has become particularly sensitive to is having his picture taken. It's like having to stand and smile for the camera is too much pressure for him and he breaks down weeping.  I'm still holding out hope I'll get one much-sought-after photograph of all four of my children smiling for the camera, but until then, I have three wild cards (they don't fall apart crying, but they might or might not smile and might or might not look at the camera at the same time) and a fourth I can guarantee will have his head turned away and tears streaming down his face. 

Having his picture taken aside, Soren is much happier and less clingy these days. What has helped him, besides just time, has been getting back into our old routine, even if a big part of that routine involved me being back at work.  I leave for work and come home the same time each day and he is then with our au pair or at preschool.  As with most kids, this predictability is comforting for him.

Chris thinks we have a budding sports fanatic.  He reports that Soren likes to talk sports with him; although, I'm not sure how extensive that kind of conversation is at this point.  But every day he would inquire if the Wild were playing.  He would have worn his Wild jersey or Vikings t-shirt every day if he could have, but mysteriously, those two articles of clothing were often "in the wash".  Then one day he went looking for one his special shirts in his dresser and said with a tone of dismay, "None of my clothes are in here." What he was looking at were the next size up of clothes I had pulled from boxes of Oliver's old clothes.  Meanwhile, his beloved Wild jersey and Vikings t-shirt were passed down to Matteo.  

Soren also inherited Oliver's old bike.  Until this point, he'd ridden a tricycle, but now he has a real bike with training wheels.  He loves riding it.  It took him a few falls before he mastered the brakes, but he does great with it now. 

Now that the weather is warming up, Soren loves being outside.  Just like his brothers and sister, he wants to be outside as much as possible.  If they're playing outside when I come home from work, I have to grit and bear a lot of whining before I can get them indoors for dinner and once that's finished, they beg to go outside again until bedtime.