No Gifts Please

When planning my kids' party, I had internal debates about things like whether to have an outdoor party in the fall when it could rain or be too cold or what time of day would work best for the kids still napping.  But what I really struggled with up until I sent the invitations out was what to do regarding gifts.  The selfish truth is that I wanted it to be a gift-free birthday party.  I didn't want extra stuff in my house, I didn't want my kids to have more shiny new things to squabble over and I didn't want my kids ending up with an excess of things they might or might not end up playing with. (To top it off, the thank you note-writing would have fallen squarely on me.)  I felt like the gifts my kids received from Chris and me and other family and close friends was more than enough.  Kids go to a lot of birthday parties and I didn't want to add any financial burden on my friends.  Really, I just wanted our friends to come, celebrate our kids and have a good time. 

My friends handle the gift issue in different ways.  Some probably barely give it a second thought.  It's a birthday party and if people want to bring gifts, or not, they see no harm.  Others have encouraged homemade gifts or inexpensive, but lasting gifts, like books.  One friend did a gift exchange.  She asked everyone to bring a used puzzle or game.  The kids exchanged the wrapped gifts and everyone got to open one and take it home.  

I decided it was easiest to go the "no gifts" route.  Even though it's considered poor etiquette to write "no gifts" on an invitation, it would have been worse in my opinion if some people showed up with gifts when others brought nothing. 

There were times ahead of the party that I felt guilty, like I was depriving my children of the joy of opening a pile of gifts at an event that rivals Christmas in the anticipation and excitement.  I wasn't so much worried about Soren, who at three, doesn't quite get the gift thing yet.  But Oliver has been to enough birthday parties and that I assumed he'd think birthday party is synonymous with gifts.  Was he going to be disappointed if no one brought him a gift?  Even worse, would he be hurt and wonder why other kids at parties get presents, but he doesn't?

Thankfully I didn't hear a single comment or question about presents from Oliver and Soren.  As relieved as I was, I was still amazed.  It's not like I can walk through Target without the kids seeing something that they just have to have.  So it was really nice to watch the party unfold as I had hoped, where the kids played and had a blast.