Relief That Chris Finished School

A few years ago seems like forever ago.  In that time, Chris and I bought a house, married, had a baby, bought another house and had another baby.  And in the middle of all that, Chris started an MBA program.  Even as I fully encouraged Chris to go back to school, it felt like a daunting task, and I wasn't even the one having to go to class or study.  (Although, I ended up proofreading many papers on his behalf.)  I remembered how stressful I found graduate school at times, yet I had had zero responsibility back then compared with what Chris would be juggling.  But we decided there was nothing to lose in trying, even if his anticipated graduation date of 2014 seemed so, so far away.  We just prepared for the long haul. 

Each new semester required an adjustment, but we would all eventually find our rhythm.  Saturday mornings became Chris's main study time over the weekend, so I made it a habit of getting the kids out of the house, whether to the park in the warmer months or playdates with friends during colder weather.  Most semesters he was in class at least two nights a week, and while the dinner and bedtime routines were chaos, I did end up relishing having some alone time once the kids went to bed.  Meanwhile, Chris learned to let go about having to get straight A's and figured out how much time he needed to devote to studying so schoolwork wouldn't take over his life.  School is a huge time commitment, especially when you have so little time as it is as parents of young children, but we made it work.   

That's not to say the past couple of years haven't been tiring in general and I wasn't always the supportive wife I had always imagined I'd be.  Chris started his MBA program during my last month of pregnancy, and other than the possibility of going into labor and Chris having to miss class (apparently, missing class because your wife had a baby wasn't a good enough excuse to prevent your grade from being affected) I thought the timing was perfect.  Chris working full-time (business travel included) and attending school was going to be totally manageable if I were a stay-at-home mom.  In fact, the set-up seemed perfect.  Unfortunately, I had had a naive notion of what parenthood would be like. I didn't understand how exhausting parenting is, so I found myself often worn out, and lonely, while solo-parenting.

I also underestimated the affect of his time commitment to school would have on the kids and family life.  I do still think it was better that Chris went back to school before the kids' lives became so busy with activities, yet his absence was eventually noticed by Oliver and Soren's awareness wouldn't be too far off.  Depending upon Chris's class schedule, the kids would go days without seeing him, because Chris went right from work to class, came home long after their bedtimes and then headed to work the next morning before they woke up.

I was fortunate during this time to have met a wonderful group of fellow new parents, but Chris has never even met some of them three and a half years later. We've celebrated birthdays and holidays together, exchanged meals, supported each other through the births of additional children, shared tips and leads on childcare and babysitters, and shared our parenting joys and challenges. Parenthood would be a much different experience without them, yet they are a part of my life Chris knows little about because he's been so busy with school. 

The pace of our lives might finally slow down now that Chris attended his final class of his MBA program yesterday evening.  He is sad school is over because he enjoyed his classes and is a life-long learner.  But I'm ready to celebrate and reflect on what he has accomplished.  I'm so incredibly proud of Chris. If our roles had been reversed, I don't know if I would have enrolled in school, let alone finished a year ahead of schedule.  I was always so impressed with how well he managed the long days of work and then night class and found the motivation to get up early to study, read during his lunch break instead of going out with co-workers or go the library on a warm and sunny Saturday morning.  He was pulled in so many different directions - overnight business trips on class nights, the birth of two children, honey-do lists, a basement renovation that still isn't completely finished - but he finished his masters, learned a lot and even enjoyed the ride.