How to Handle Santa Claus

I so clearly remember the magic of believing in Santa Claus.  One Christmas I woke up in the early hours of the morning to the sound of what I was convinced were reindeer lifting off from the roof our little ranch house in Medford, N.J.  When I saw the presents under the tree and in our stockings, I knew I had not imagined it.  I had always assumed I'd want to pass along the magic of Santa Claus, but since having kids, I started to question how create the magic without lying and trying to keep up a story that will inevitably be exposed.

Keeping up the charade of Santa Claus seems like a lot of work, especially for something you know they're going to learn the truth about eventually.  And you're constantly changing your story.  First you tell them the Santa you're taking them to see is the real deal, but then when they see Santa everywhere else they go, or start to question why they're seeing Santa anywhere at all before Christmas, you find yourself admitting that the guy whose lap they just sat on is actually just pretending to be Santa because the real Santa is so busy up at the North Pole making toys.  Or whatever convoluted story you find yourself making up on the spot.  While I definitely tell my kids a lot of little white lies, (especially if it means they'll quit whining) the subject of Santa seems like a lot of lies.

Even if you don't have a moral objection to lying about something as innocent as Santa Claus, the "if you're naughty" threat does go against one of my parenting philosophies and that is avoiding empty threats.  Something every child expert will tell you is not to issue a threat you can't or won't follow through with.  My kids may drive me nuts sometimes, but they'll never actually get coal in their stockings. 

The question I dread the most surrounding Santa Claus is why he brings some kids gifts and not others, even if they've been good.  There is no good explanation for why "Santa" doesn't bring gifts to poor children, other than the simple truth. 

I was one of those kids who probably believed in Santa Claus way longer than my peers. Or maybe I just happily skipped believing the truth. I asked my mom at one point whether Santa Claus was real and she managed to answer without answering at all by telling me that he's real as long as I continue to believe so in my heart. I don't know when I stopped believing in Santa Claus, but since I'd never been told flat out that he was completely made up, I gradually grew away from believing in the myth. 

As a parent, I'm trying to figure out the right balance for addressing Santa Claus.  I want my kids to believe in Santa, not as a real person, but as a mythical figure who represents the magic and fun of Christmas.  I believe that Christmas can still be special for kids even if they think of Santa as a big game we play every year.  And just as I don't feel the need to go out of my way to get my kids to believe in Santa Claus, I also haven't yet made any attempts to dispel the myth.  Like my mom, I guess I'll just step back and let my kids decide for themselves.