Oliver Update: 3 Years

This past year has been wild with a new baby and new job that I had nearly failed to realize the verbal, cognitive, and fine and gross motor skills Oliver has developed since he turned two.  Other than talking, it's not that he's developed many new skills, it's just that over the past twelve months, he does everything better.  As for the new skills though, at age three, he's able to climb (really high) ladders at the playground, jump, operate an iPad better than Mom, tell stories and take his own shoes on and off.  I take for granted that he can say, "I love you, Mom."  It feels like he's been saying those heart-melting words his whole life, but in fact, he barely said any two-word phrases and his vocabulary was quite limited by his second birthday. 

Three is an age of juxtapositions.  There are the nights when I wrestle with Oliver to change him into his pajamas and brush his teeth and others when I cuddle with him in his bed and we chat about three-year-old stuff and I'm in awe of the life Chris and I created.  Going into any situation - playing, sitting down for dinner, going outside, picking out clothes for the day - I never know whether I'm going to encounter calm or hysterics.  I'm often on edge waiting for what I assume is going to be an inevitable power struggle. 

Oliver has been simultaneously adjusting to a number of transitions this past month and the adjustment has upped the ante on his behavior.  In the span of two days, he started preschool, started with a new nanny, went back to ECFE and started potty training in earnest.  In addition, Chris is back in school, which means Oliver goes from Tuesday bedtime until Friday afternoon without seeing his dad.  The result is that Oliver vacillates between not being cooperative about simple tasks, like getting dressed, being clingy when I'm trying to get ready for work because he doesn't want me to go, to pushing his brother over to get attention or just stage an all-out tantrum.  His ECFE teacher assured me these behaviors are normal for this age and that it can take weeks to adjust to so many transitions.  At her suggestion, we're putting together a timeline with pictures that cue Oliver to what the schedule is for that day and we hope that helps him feel more comfortable knowing what's coming next. 

A year later, Oliver still likes his trains, but can now play with them mostly independently.  We moved them to the basement to give him something to play with while he hangs out with Dad when football games are on.  He was never into blocks until a couple of months ago, but now plays with them daily.  Of course he still loves trucks of any kind and impresses friends and family by his ability to identify various construction vehicles.  He enjoys watching the most mundane videos of garbage trucks and fire engines on YouTube, which the nanny discovered is the key to successfully watching two kids and preparing lunch prep.  And like most kids, he's obsessed with his dad's iPad, which he likes to play games on and watch the occasional Bob the Builder video. 

He still likes coloring with markers, painting and drawing with chalk.  He's been less into bubbles lately, but that may be because we've kept them out of reach recently, so out of sight, out of mind.  He loves being outdoors and likes riding his tricycle up and down the sidewalk in front of our house.  He hasn't quite figured out the peddles - he pushes himself along with his feet and when he's built up momentum, only then doe he put his feet on the peddles. 

We've asked Oliver a couple of time over the past few weeks what he wants for his birthday and all he was books.  Of course he still likes to be read to, but he'll look at books on his own and occasionally I'll overhear him "read" random parts of a book that he knows from memory.  Although he still enjoys many of the books he's been reading since he was a baby, he's grown out of the baby board books and to my relief has advanced to books with a story line.  I imagine that many of the books we read to him now he'll still be enjoying as he heads into elementary school. 

What I don't know is how long he'll want me to curl up with him in bed to read him a bedtime story.  No matter how stressful of a parenting day I've had, on those nights when Oliver and I lie in bed and talk, they're just magically sweet and I'm reminded that my "big boy" is actually just three.  He's sometimes frightened, sometimes sad.  He has an amazing vocabulary and has reached the point where he can express feelings, but he can't say why he feels that way.  He's still so innocent and his mom and dad are still the center of his world.

I'm usually exhausted by the time we reach Oliver's bedtime and I find lying with him and talking about his day relaxing.  Before I get up so I can let him sleep, I smother him in hugs and kisses until he's giggling and then he smiles innocently at me when I say how lucky I am that I have him for a son and how proud I am to be his mom.