Falling in love all over again

Chris only spent a few hours a day at the hospital when Soren was born; the rest of the time he was home with Oliver, who was sick.  I had felt so lonely when Chris left the hospital for the night the day after Oliver's birth.  Chris was getting no sleep there and there was a lot to do at home since we were about to move.  This time I savored all the alone time I had with Soren. Back home, there would be housework and meal prep and most of all, another child who'd want my attention.  I appreciated what a special opportunity I had to spend undivided time with my new little baby.

So during my stay at the hospital, my focus was on Soren.  I spent hours relaxing in bed feeding him, snuggling with him, watching him sleep, marveling at the unique facial expressions only a newborn can make, taking pictures of him, and falling in love with him.  Yes, after a miserable pregnancy and an even more miserable and disappointing labor that had all left me worried that I hadn't bonded with my unborn child, and the anxiety that had built up about whether I could cope with two children, I surprisingly knew within those first few days that I was in the love.  The kind of ridiculous, sappy, I-can't-stop-kissing-his-soft-plump-cheeks in love.

Falling in love had been a slower process with Oliver. As I awkwardly adjusted to parenthood, it was like I had to learn how to love someone who literally had just appeared in my life.  One of the greatest surprises for me about becoming a parent for a second time is that falling in love with my child could come so much quicker . Knowing what my love for Oliver felt like, I almost immediately recognized the same feeling for my new son, and that was incredible.

The cynic in me couldn't help but feel vindicated too.  For all that I had read and comments I had endured about needing to bond with your child in utero, about how drugs during labor, c-sections and not doing skin-to-skin and breastfeeding immediately afterward (to my surprise, I was offered the opportunity to hold Soren immediately after his birth, but I declined because I was just exhausted and thought it'd be too awkward given that I was lying flat on my back and my arms were partially numb) affect your ability to bond with your child, Soren and I were doing more than fine.