Boy or Girl?

I love surprises and Chris doesn't. Since the suspense of my last pregnancy just about darn did him in, we've made the decision to find out the sex of the baby at my 20-week ultrasound. I realized that Chris feels more strongly about finding out the sex than I do about keeping it a surprise. Sure, a part of me wishes we both wanted to wait until the birth to find out the sex, but I've also accepted the idea that I will still be surprised, just 20 weeks earlier.

But not all the fun with surprises is lost. I love surprising people more than being surprised, so we compromised about finding out the sex at 20 weeks by agreeing that we wouldn't tell anyone what we're having. Chris will feel more relaxed just knowing and I can revel in the suspense before the big reveal of the sex, the name and of course, the birthday, which not even we can know for sure ahead of time, all at once. Being able to announce to friends and family who had no idea what we were having or even what names we were seriously considering that we'd had a boy named Oliver was one of the most special moments of his birth. (Of course, having him earlier than even I had expected I think helped up the ante of surprise when the announcement came.) I couldn't think of doing it any differently the second time around.

And just like not telling anyone your name choices avoids unsolicited opinions about those choices, the same goes for letting the birth of the child reveal the sex. If folks feels sorry for me because I had another boy or for my husband because he, gasp, had a girl, they're about as likely to admit that after the baby is born as they are to admit they think Oliver is a silly name.

Honestly, I don't have even an inkling of preference for one sex over the other. I could end up with all boys and would be perfectly happy and not think that my job as a parent was easier or more difficult, or more or less interesting or fulfilling than if I had all girls or some of each.

If you ask me what you think I'm having, my guess at the moment is it's a girl. I thought that the last time though and my guess this time around is based purely on the fact that my pregnancy feels different than when I was pregnant with Oliver. It's like he set the benchmark in my mind that that's how a pregnancy with a boy feels like. Therefore, an experience any different must be a girl.

And come October, you will find out.