Earning His Wings

With five roundtrip plane trips behind him, Oliver is well-traveled for a kid his age. And as the parent who has flown with him every time, I've suddenly become the go-to person among some of my friends on advice for traveling with babies. Which is ironic considering how anxious I was prior to my first trip with Oliver, (at three months) as I had no idea what it was like to travel with an extra person I'd be solely responsible for, I did not know how Oliver would react and I was traveling alone.

Despite how much I had traveled prior to having a baby, my first flight with Oliver felt like a venture into the unknown. I consulted the airline's website and tried to find advice online, but came up with only general information. My moms groups ended up being my source of moral support and tips, especially since some women had traveled on long international flights (and they lived to tell about it!). That first flight to Philadelphia and back happened with not even a minor mishap, but I did learn a lot about flying with babies that I thought would be helpful to share with other parents.

Toddlers and younger are my frame of reference for traveling with kids, so that is what my travel advice is based on. But the little information I found about traveling with kids seemed to be written for parents of newborns or kids who no longer needed high chairs, sippy cups or naps. With the minimum time lapse between flights with Oliver being two months, I discovered that our experience was totally different each time and became more difficult as he slept less and become more mobile. As a newborn, Oliver slept in my arms and woke just to nurse, by our trip to Seattle in August, we were packing finger foods and bottles and toys he could amuse himself with in our laps, and just two months later, I had a baby who could crawl and didn't want to be confined to our seat. The observation by a mom of an older toddler I talked with on our flight back from Seattle seems to be accurate - traveling with kids gets harder before it gets easier. And at 15 months, Oliver is far from being out of the difficult-to-travel-with stage.

Newborn stage
Babies under three months are the easiest to travel with because they're small and will sleep anywhere. As they're not very interactive at this age, much of their awake time is spent eating and hopefully the rest of the time they sleep and you can enjoy a book or the onboard movie.

Between three and six months can also be relatively easy if your baby isn't crawling or trying to crawl yet, as they're likely to be content sitting in your lap and batting at any toy you dangle in front of their faces and cooing at the adoring flight attendants. If your baby is like Oliver, who quickly put himself on a nap schedule and outgrew being able to sleep with a lot of noise and other distractions, I found that wearing my nursing cover and letting it drape over his head as I held him in my arms was enough to block visual stimulation and light and allow him to get some semblance of a nap.

Even if babies aren't exclusively breastfed, formula can be pre-measured and packed in ziplock bags or a formula dispenser and you can even pre-fill bottles with water if you don't want to have to ask a flight attendant to fill it for you.

This "easy" age is counteracted by the fact that as a parent of a young baby, you're probably sleep-deprived and overwhelmed by the fear of not packing enough diapers or having to be somewhere on time, especially for an airline departure. That first flight with Oliver was also the first time I knew I would have to breastfeed in public. I had never used a nursing cover before, but I bought one just for the trip because I preferred to ease myself into public nursing. While it took a number of weeks to fully become comfortable with the practice, I was surprise by what nursing in a confined public space did for my confidence.

Diaper bag essentials:

- enough diapers and wipes to account for delays
- change of clothes for baby
- nursing cover
- spare shirt for you - Who wants to spend the next couple of hours wearing spit-up?
- baby carrier - once the stroller is folded up ready for gate check, keep your hands free for toting carry-ons by wearing your baby
- car seat
- stroller


Pre-mobile stage
Babies who aren't crawling or learning to crawl are still manageable to fly with on your lap because they stay relatively content there. You can entertain them with small plush toys or rattles, or whatever is around you, like empty pretzel wrappers or the cards and magazines in the seat-back pocket. But they're awake for longer stretches and still active, even if they're not mobile, so they need constant attention. Thus, there's nothing relaxing about traveling with a baby!

By this stage in their lives, napping away from the crib and with too much surrounding stimulation may be too difficult for an older baby. The seatback on Oliver's stroller reclines fully and we had some success in getting him to fall asleep for at least a short nap while walking the concourses. Once on the plane, we tried the nursing cover again, but by a year old he was so much bigger and it was no longer effective.

The biggest change with babies six months and older is the introduction of solid foods. Since we did baby-led weaning, I fretted about what to bring to feed to Oliver that wasn't messy and actually considered feeding him purees for the first time. But younger babies, especially those under nine months, aren't on a particular meal schedule, and they'll happily subsist off of dry snack foods, in addition to the breastmilk or formula that still actually accounts for the majority of their daily nutritional needs. Any structure of meal and snack times your baby has developed over the months since introducing solids will probably be moot while traveling and I discovered that a snack trap full of Cheerios, which Oliver plucked away at one-by-one, is a wonderful time-killer. We bought a new bib, one made of silicone (easily washable and dryable) with a food catcher built in so he wouldn't spill bits of food (in theory) and let him gorge himself on the Puffs, yogurt melts, dry cereal and crackers and teething biscuits we brought.

After some really embarrassing incidents shortly after the crack-down on bringing liquids and gels through airport security where breastfeeding moms were forced to dump their pumped breastmilk, TSA now bends over backwards to accommodate parents toting formula or breastmilk through security. But the best-kept TSA secret is that exceptions don't stop with breastmilk or formula. You can bring any foods through security if you say they're for your child. They don't even have to be unopened or in their original containers. Instead of paying $2+ for a container of yogurt each for Oliver and me, I bring a whole milk yogurt for Oliver and a fat-free for me. Declare any foods or beverages that don't meed the under-3-oz. rule and coolers with ice packs and TSA will take them aside after they've gone through the scanner to test the outside for explosives residue. They won't open anything.

Diaper bag essentials:

- a small toy or two
- dry snacks in a snack trap
- bib with a food catcher
- change of clothes - sure they could still have a blow-out, but Oliver manages to come off every flight with the remains of his snack caked to his face and clothes

Mobile stage
By the time your child is crawling, flying becomes more difficult, as they are getting to the age where they just want to move, move, move and get into everything. I let Oliver burn off as much energy in the terminal and then try to occupy him with snacks between boarding and take-off. Hopefully the fasten seatbelt light has been turned off by the time Oliver gets antsy and I can let him crawl in the aisle.

Not every flight has gone this smoothly. There have been times when were stuck in our seat when he wanted to be crawling around. I thought he was on the verge of a full-blown tantrum, but even though the time spent trying to soothe a seemingly unsoothable kid with songs, stories and the cookies handed to me from the sympathetic flight attendant seemed futile, toddlers do understand more than it appears and Oliver seemed to eventually understand that we really did just have to sit there and he calmed down, somewhat. At least I don't think anyone on that flight wrote an e-mail to the airline demanding that kids be banned from airplanes.

As any parent knows, the reason a kid is most likely throwing a tantrum is because he or she is tired. By the time Oliver dropped to one nap a day around 13-14 months of age, he relied on that 2.5-hour nap and understandably couldn't go without. As I've alluded to earlier in this post, Oliver is a predictable sleeper, which is a blessing, but he also does not just nap on the go and is a mess without proper sleep. He is simply a kid who needs his sleep. And that left me in a bind, because there is no flight short enough to allow us enough time to get to the airport, check in, board, arrive at our destination and get him into a crib all between either his morning wake-up and nap, or nap wake-up and bedtime.

Benadryl was my savior. Before anyone cries foul about my off-label use of the drug, I did discuss it with Oliver's pediatrician, who agreed it was a reasonable scenario for medicinally inducing sleep (for a baby over six months of age) and a pharmacist calculated the dosage based on Oliver's age and weight. When our direct flight right after Christmas was canceled due to weather, we had to take a connecting flight via Memphis. The timing of the first flight happened to be perfect because Oliver woke up from a nap before we needed to leave for the airport. As we killed time in the airport in Memphis, I could tell that Oliver's energy and excitement over new surroundings were starting to go downhill, quickly. He ate little for dinner and eventually didn't even want to sip on his milk. He just wanted to sleep, but he couldn't. I thought if I could just get him to hang on until take-off, the dimmed lights and vibration of the plane would soothe him to sleep. Even though I had him wrapped in a blanket and snuggled in my arms, he just could not sleep and he cried out in frustration. I felt sorry for him, the passengers around me and myself. Sympathetic flight attendants and seatmates offered up suggestions for cheering him up, but all were useless, because honestly, he was just tired and wanted to sleep. Once I'd tried everything to help him fall asleep, I finally gave him Benadryl and he was asleep within five minutes and didn't wake up until an hour later when we'd arrived at the gates and the cabin lights were turned back on. So yeah, Benadryl will remain on our packing list.

As your child approaches a year old, you may be making the transition to cow's milk. You have a couple of options besides adding a cooler of pre-filled bottles of milk to your most-likely unmanageable volume of carry-on. If your baby already drinks soy milk, or likes the taste of soy milk, you can buy 8 oz. shelf-stable packages, similar to the juice boxes from your lunchbox youth. The aseptic packaging doesn't require refrigeration until opened, so it's convenient to throw extra 8 oz. containers in the diaper bag. More difficult to find are the same packages with shelf-stable cow's milk.

If you have a long trip, powders are easier to pack in larger quantities. Powdered whole milk is also difficult to find; although, it's available on Amazon. The easiest though, especially if you're still trying to transition your baby to cow's milk and are still mixing milk with formula, is to use a toddler formula. Even Target makes a house brand of this formula designed for children 9-24 months. While the majority of babies do not need special toddler formula, this is a great alternative when traveling.

Checking In
If your child is traveling in your lap, make sure your boarding pass has "infant in arms" printed on it. This designation insures that you will be able to gate check items and alerts airline employees with access to your itinerary that you may need special accommodations (such as in case of a rebooking due to weather delays). You may not be able to designate you are traveling with a baby when you book your ticket online, but you can go into your itinerary after you've purchased your ticket and add your child.

Even if you're flying alone, having someone accompany you to baggage check is a big help. Gone are the days when you can fly with just a carry-on, so count on checking at least one bag. Once your bag is checked, you'll be able to manage the stroller and your carry-ons on your own.

Some airports have family lanes at security and even if you don't think you need a low-pressure line where you don't feel guilty about taking your good old time, inquire anyway. I've approached some dauntingly-long security lines, but the family lane might as well be labeled VIP and be corned off with a velvet rope, because once TSA sees you with a child, they'll open up the family lane for you and you'll find yourself at the front of the line.

Your stroller and car seat will need to go through the x-ray machine and your little ones will need to remove shoes and jackets just like the adults, so be strategic about the order of operations. I leave Oliver in his stroller while I send everything else through the x-ray machine. I put anything food or beverages I need to "declare" in a separate bin. I'm able to fold up Oliver's stroller and hoist it onto the conveyor belt with one hand, but inevitably, someone offers to do it for me. Meanwhile, you will be able to walk through the metal detector holding your baby.

If you're used to breezing through security, bringing a baby and all his or her gear through can leave you feeling overwhelmed, or when you see your possessions taking up the entire conveyor belt, at least like you overpacked. However, I was pleasantly surprised at how helpful the TSA employees were and I've never felt rushed.


Car seats - If you do not having a car seat waiting for you on the other end, it may be easier (and cheaper, say if you would otherwise have to rent one from the car rental agency) to bring your own. Airlines allow you, free of charge, (believe it or not, some services are still free) to check your car seat with your luggage or at the gate.

Chris and I have argued about which makes more sense. He'd prefer not to have to lug the car seat through the airport, but since I had figured out how to strap the seat to the back of Oliver's stroller, I was more at ease dealing with the slight inconvenience if it meant I knew the seat wouldn't be lost. That is until our last flight when we got off the plane and only our stroller was waiting for us in the causeway between the plane and the terminal. A ground employee searched the cargo hold and still couldn't find the car seat. I was afraid that with all the strollers and car seats needing to be loaded on our plane in Philadelphia, (there were a lot of kids on our flight) perhaps ours had been forgotten and was never even loaded on the plane. The gate agent assured me that the airport had car seats to loan, something had not known about, but it turns out a loaner wasn't needed. As we waited at the baggage carousel, we looked up to see a ground crew member walking towards us with our awol car seat. The gate check tag had gotten ripped off and therefore it hadn't been pulled off the plane, which was headed on to Albuquerque after an hour layover, when we landed in Minneapolis. Although I consider this incident an anomaly, now that I know that the airport has extra car seats on hand, I may feel more comfortable checking it with my luggage.

If you opt to gate check, ask the gate agent for a gate check tag. Whether you gate check or not, bring a cover for the car seat to keep it from getting dirty. (A heavy-duty trash bag works well.) Just make sure the luggage or gate check tag is affixed to the car seat and sticking out of the cover.

Strollers
You have the same options with a stroller as with a car seat. No matter how old or young, big or small your child is, or whether you think you'll be more comfortable using a baby carrier, because that's what you use at home anyway, I vote for bringing a stroller. (And I still bring my Ergo too.) Even newborn babies start to feel heavy if you've been carrying them for hours and especially if you're traveling alone, as I have done many times, you will welcome the break. You will also need to go to the bathroom at some point. It doesn't take a big imagination to realize that answering the call of nature is easier with your child in a stroller rather than strapped to you.

Strollers also come with cargo space so you don't also have to schlepp the diaper bag along with your kid.

If your baby has started solids, the stroller doubles as a high chair. Unless Oliver is strapped down during meal and snack times, he'll crawl all over the place. Even though our stroller doesn't have a snack tray, he sits in it to eat when we're traveling and I hand him piece of food.

Depending upon your destination, a stroller may not be the most practical. When we traveled to Seattle, we were renting a compact and would be getting on and off buses while sightseeing in the city. Although I'd flown with our large Graco travel system stroller, we finally invested in Chicco Liteway, chosen for its light weight, durability, smaller size (both when folded and unfolded) and fully reclining seat (for naps on the go).

As with the car seat, you'll want to think about how to keep your stroller clean while in the cargo hold. Sometimes I've wrapped it in plastic, other times I just take a chance it's not raining when they unload the luggage. The best option is to buy a stroller cover, which not only keeps it clean, but provides a bit of protection against the inevitable bumps and jostling the stroller will endure.

Buying a seat for your child
If you can afford to buy a seat for your child, do so. It's the safest for your baby and most convenient for you, even though it means bringing your own car seat on board. Your child may sleep better in a car seat and might not feel the urge to try to roam if he or she is strapped in.

Before you buy a seat for your baby, make sure you have a car seat that is approved for use on an aircraft. A sticker affixed to the car seat should say something along the lines of "This car seat is approved for aircraft travel." (It will not say "FAA-aproved.") Next you should call the airline and ask about additional requirements for car seats. For instance, a car seat may be approved for aircraft use, but the airline you are traveling on may have restrictions on how wide the car seat may be.

Consider the weight and size of the car seat if purchasing with airline travel in mind. Our Combi Coccoro weighs 12 pounds and is considered a lightweight car seat, but I can't imagine having to lug an even heavier one. We connect the LATCH straps and use that to attach to the back of the stroller. Even so, the car seat barely cleared the ground and until our son surpassed 20 pounds, we had to be careful that the car seat didn't pull the stroller down.

If you don't own an appropriate car seat, you can purchase an inexpensive one to use on the plane and then it can become your back-up car seat for the grandparent's or babysitter's car when not traveling. You can buy an Evenflo Chase for under $60.

For all I've written about buying a seat for your baby, we have yet to buy a seat for Oliver and none of my friends with similar-age kids has either. Now that Oliver is bigger and more active, we are considering buying him a seat on our next trip, only because he's becoming a handful to have on our laps.

Final Pep Talk
It's easy to imagine all that could go horribly wrong flying with a baby, (namely, your kid screaming the entire flight) but the reality is, your trip will go relatively smoothly. Your fellow travelers and those overworked airline employees really do have a soft spot for kids and you'll be surprised how much strangers are willing to help out. Sure, there's a chance your baby will need a diaper change the second the plane is about to take off and it's nearly guaranteed your baby will cry at some point, but as parents we deal with stressful situations with our kids daily, so we'll manage with whatever new situations are presented to us while traveling. And even though your baby screamed during the plane's descent, despite your desperate attempt to adhere to the most oft-heard advice about nursing your baby during take-off and landing, you'll step off the plane, realize you and your kid made it in one piece and will think that all went pretty well.