Inspired by friends who have handed a bowl full of flour and a whisk to their toddlers and let them "help" bake, I decided it was time to let Oliver try his hand at baking. By the time the cookies went in the oven, my kitchen floor was covered in oats and Oliver was down to just his diaper, yet this baking foray went kind of as expected.
I tried to keep it as simple as possible. While Oliver played in the living room with a friend, I measured out the wet and dry ingredients into separate bowls, so that when I ushered them into the kitchen, all they had to do was stir. When handed a mixing spoon, Oliver's buddy dunked it in the wet ingredients and immediately brought it back up to his mouth to take a big lick and Oliver discovered that he could use his whisk to fling oats out of the bowl. I showed them out to whisk the oats and flour, and they actually got the idea, until errant oats went flying and they put themselves to the task of trying to put each little fleck back in the bowl again. Once we (I) had the dough mixed, I realized our set-up on the kitchen floor was going to result in a sticky, gooey mess. I let them lick spoons while I formed balls of dough myself, (next time I'll strap them into their booster seats and let them play with cookie dough there) and with them well enough distracted, safely popped the tray into the hot oven. I had halved the sugar content of the cookies, but the results were still addicting.
Oliver is still a little young to do anything more than the simplest of tasks, but he clearly enjoyed the process. Observing me cooking or baking is such a common sight for him that I wonder if he was excited that he was finally allowed to join in.
Kiera, Matteo, Oliver and Soren
Monday, January 31, 2011
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Oliver update: 16 months
This is the month that Oliver became a walker! He started his 15th month interested in trying to walk, but not taking more than a few steps at a time, and arrived at his 16th month nearly having abandoned crawling in favor of walking. Three weeks ago at our early childhood education class, I was reporting to the class that Oliver had started taking steps, but wasn't really what I would describe as a "walker" yet. Then I turned around and realized that the whole time I was talking, Oliver had been walking around the room and hadn't stopped once to crawl. After that night it was like he never looked back.
Other parents have told me that I'm lucky to have a late walker, because walkers are so much harder to deal with. But Oliver had to learn walk sometime and frankly, the advantages, like having him stand while I tried to zip his coat, or being able to set him down on his feet and not have him drop to his knees and try to crawl - a huge inconvenience if wherever I'm setting him is wet or dirty - outweigh the disadvantages reportedly coming, such as his speed.
I was warned that early walkers are nerve-wracking, because they have farther to fall while refining their new skill. While Oliver hasn't had any major mishaps, (yet) his early delight with himself in being able to walk seemed to give way to frustration that he was falling down so much. He never hurt himself, but I imagined that constantly falling on your hands and butt isn't comfortable. His mid-strut tumbles are occurring less and less frequently.
Now that Oliver is walking, I finally consider him a toddler and not a baby. His "baby" things are slowly going away. A month ago we stopped using his changing pad and just change him in the floor now, something parents of other kids his age have been doing for months now. His bottles have long been packed away and I'm getting close to packing up the last of the rattles and other newborn toys. Although the transition out of the crib is still months away, I'm already researching big kid bed options.
One of the more endearing things Oliver does now is wanting to sit in my lap. He'll toddle over to me with a book and nestle into my lap. Often he won't even let me read the book, he just wants to page through it himself. (And nine times out of 10, he holds the book upside down!) Sometimes I sit on the floor his room while he plays and he'll come over to me with a toy, sit in my lap and play with it for a minute or two, get up, find a different toy, circle back to me to sit in my lap while playing and then keep going. Our early childhood education teacher says that it this age kids are experimenting with new-found independence, but the world (or simply across the room and too far from mom or dad) can still be scary and retreating from playing for a quick hug or cuddle with mom or dad is reassuring for them.
And independence Oliver is just beginning to discover. At Tot Time at the nearby rec center, he's all over the gym, and sometimes out of view, without even a glance back towards me. Much of our time at the Children's Museum is spent in the one room truly designed for babies and toddlers, but then he caught a glimpse of a new room and while I was getting his snack ready, he disappeared to explore this new place on his own. And this all from a kid who still cries if I leave his sight.
One of Oliver's favorite places to sit is up on the couch. Chris and I don't know if he just likes the view from up higher or is emulating how his own parents veg out on the couch. Sometimes we'll take a couch cushion off and turn the furniture into a mini jungle gym, but in its normal state, it's still too high for Oliver crawl up top by himself and that frustrates him immensely. But he likes to climb on whatever else he can and especially likes to climb in things! If I get a package in the mail, I'll leave the empty box hanging around the house for a few days and it's instant entertainment for Oliver. He's like a cat the way he likes to sit in boxes.
Oliver's top two teeth have finally broken the gum line, but seem like they've been stuck in that position for weeks. He's had some uncontrollably fussy days, and then he'll have a string of days where he wakes up without a care (or ache) in the world. Whereas Oliver usually only got to use his pacifier while sleeping, or in circumstances where I needed to buy some time before I could feed him or let him sleep, I've found myself relying on it more and more lately. Sometimes I can't take listening to another second of whining and out comes the pacifier.
We haven't noticed much of a difference in Oliver's language development, but every now and then we recognize real words are starting to form from what is otherwise still just baby babble. He'll stand in front of the window, bang his little palm against it and say "indow" and finally we realize, "Oh, WINDOW!" (And that makes his father, an engineer for a window manufacturer, very proud.)
Even where Oliver can't yet verbalize, he can still make some opinions and thoughts known. He's started clapping and he can wave hello and goodbye, sometimes even if he just hears one of those words in conversation is someone isn't actually leaving the house. He's never been a kid to cry about a dirty diaper, (in fact, if I hear him "talking" to himself early in a nap and generally sounding like he's throwing a party in his crib, as opposed to crying, I've learned that he needs his diaper changed) but twice in the last two days he's walked (toddled) over to the gate at the bottom of the stairs and fussed. Then I realized he had a dirty diaper. He's also learned that standing by his booster seat and whining to get in is a good signal that he's hungry.
As is typical for toddlers, they understand a lot, even if they can't talk, and this has become a lot more apparent to us in the last month. I can ask Oliver if he wants more of something and he'll shake his head for no, or if he's interested, he'll exclaim something that more or less sounds like "Yes!" If I sense he's tired, I can ask if he wants to go to sleep, and sometimes he'll head straight for the stairs. I can explain things to him and sometimes I think he gets it. Well, at least if he throws himself on the ground and wails, I take it that he understood me when I said he couldn't have or do something.
Oliver has been on a regular meal and snack schedule for months now, a schedule that fits his needs (so lunch as early as 10:30 a.m. and dinner at 5:00 p.m.) but otherwise, I had been feeding him and offering milk on demand, just as I had since he was a newborn. But suddenly he was "asking" for a snack frequently and appeared to be sipping milk all day long. Because he was a "sipper," and not a kid who would chug a bottomless cup of milk in a sitting and end up drinking too much milk, I had given him free reign of his sippy cup.
Reading the book Child of Mine by Ellyn Satter, which was recommended by a pediatric nutritionist who visited our early childhood education class, helped me realize that while I had been doing a lot of things well when it came to introducing food and providing Oliver with a healthy diet, now that Oliver is a toddler, I can be doing more to set limits and expectations. I read the book right at the time that I felt like snacks were getting out of control (as in too many snacks) and that he might actually have started drinking enough milk to spoil his meals. I knew I was letting this happen because I had always thought you should feed a child if he or she is hungry and because, well, to be honest, I can only take so much whining. And Oliver WHINES, probably like any kid, when he wants something. But I learned from the book that toddlers are at an age when they can start to learn that everything doesn't revolve around them (i.e. they're hungry and want their dinner NOW, whether mom or dad is still cooking and regardless of what is expected of older siblings) and that if you are offering them filling snacks and meals at appropriate times, they won't starve to death if they're forced to wait 15 minutes for dinner. So I make sure Oliver has as much as he could want to eat at these designated times, but otherwise, the sippy cup of milk goes back in the fridge (he can always have water) and he's not offered food until the next snack or meal time.
It was really difficult to listen to him whine that first evening when I refused to drop everything I was doing in the kitchen to get his dinner ready first, but then something magical happened. He stopped whining and went back to playing with his toys. Ten minutes later, dinner was ready and we all sat down together. Miracle!
I still have to use the power of distraction and a pacifier during more challenging times, but I feel less stressed knowing I've regained some control over my kitchen and don't feel like I'm running a snack shack from sun up until sun down.
On the other end of the literature spectrum, the book Where is Baby's Belly Button inspired me to start teaching Oliver body parts. I thought he was catching on so quickly when I asked, "Where is Oliver's nose," and he promptly pointed to his nose. But ask him where any other body part is, or any question for that matter, and he points to his nose! Still got some work to do...
Other parents have told me that I'm lucky to have a late walker, because walkers are so much harder to deal with. But Oliver had to learn walk sometime and frankly, the advantages, like having him stand while I tried to zip his coat, or being able to set him down on his feet and not have him drop to his knees and try to crawl - a huge inconvenience if wherever I'm setting him is wet or dirty - outweigh the disadvantages reportedly coming, such as his speed.
I was warned that early walkers are nerve-wracking, because they have farther to fall while refining their new skill. While Oliver hasn't had any major mishaps, (yet) his early delight with himself in being able to walk seemed to give way to frustration that he was falling down so much. He never hurt himself, but I imagined that constantly falling on your hands and butt isn't comfortable. His mid-strut tumbles are occurring less and less frequently.
Now that Oliver is walking, I finally consider him a toddler and not a baby. His "baby" things are slowly going away. A month ago we stopped using his changing pad and just change him in the floor now, something parents of other kids his age have been doing for months now. His bottles have long been packed away and I'm getting close to packing up the last of the rattles and other newborn toys. Although the transition out of the crib is still months away, I'm already researching big kid bed options.
One of the more endearing things Oliver does now is wanting to sit in my lap. He'll toddle over to me with a book and nestle into my lap. Often he won't even let me read the book, he just wants to page through it himself. (And nine times out of 10, he holds the book upside down!) Sometimes I sit on the floor his room while he plays and he'll come over to me with a toy, sit in my lap and play with it for a minute or two, get up, find a different toy, circle back to me to sit in my lap while playing and then keep going. Our early childhood education teacher says that it this age kids are experimenting with new-found independence, but the world (or simply across the room and too far from mom or dad) can still be scary and retreating from playing for a quick hug or cuddle with mom or dad is reassuring for them.
And independence Oliver is just beginning to discover. At Tot Time at the nearby rec center, he's all over the gym, and sometimes out of view, without even a glance back towards me. Much of our time at the Children's Museum is spent in the one room truly designed for babies and toddlers, but then he caught a glimpse of a new room and while I was getting his snack ready, he disappeared to explore this new place on his own. And this all from a kid who still cries if I leave his sight.
One of Oliver's favorite places to sit is up on the couch. Chris and I don't know if he just likes the view from up higher or is emulating how his own parents veg out on the couch. Sometimes we'll take a couch cushion off and turn the furniture into a mini jungle gym, but in its normal state, it's still too high for Oliver crawl up top by himself and that frustrates him immensely. But he likes to climb on whatever else he can and especially likes to climb in things! If I get a package in the mail, I'll leave the empty box hanging around the house for a few days and it's instant entertainment for Oliver. He's like a cat the way he likes to sit in boxes.
Oliver's top two teeth have finally broken the gum line, but seem like they've been stuck in that position for weeks. He's had some uncontrollably fussy days, and then he'll have a string of days where he wakes up without a care (or ache) in the world. Whereas Oliver usually only got to use his pacifier while sleeping, or in circumstances where I needed to buy some time before I could feed him or let him sleep, I've found myself relying on it more and more lately. Sometimes I can't take listening to another second of whining and out comes the pacifier.
We haven't noticed much of a difference in Oliver's language development, but every now and then we recognize real words are starting to form from what is otherwise still just baby babble. He'll stand in front of the window, bang his little palm against it and say "indow" and finally we realize, "Oh, WINDOW!" (And that makes his father, an engineer for a window manufacturer, very proud.)
Even where Oliver can't yet verbalize, he can still make some opinions and thoughts known. He's started clapping and he can wave hello and goodbye, sometimes even if he just hears one of those words in conversation is someone isn't actually leaving the house. He's never been a kid to cry about a dirty diaper, (in fact, if I hear him "talking" to himself early in a nap and generally sounding like he's throwing a party in his crib, as opposed to crying, I've learned that he needs his diaper changed) but twice in the last two days he's walked (toddled) over to the gate at the bottom of the stairs and fussed. Then I realized he had a dirty diaper. He's also learned that standing by his booster seat and whining to get in is a good signal that he's hungry.
As is typical for toddlers, they understand a lot, even if they can't talk, and this has become a lot more apparent to us in the last month. I can ask Oliver if he wants more of something and he'll shake his head for no, or if he's interested, he'll exclaim something that more or less sounds like "Yes!" If I sense he's tired, I can ask if he wants to go to sleep, and sometimes he'll head straight for the stairs. I can explain things to him and sometimes I think he gets it. Well, at least if he throws himself on the ground and wails, I take it that he understood me when I said he couldn't have or do something.
Oliver has been on a regular meal and snack schedule for months now, a schedule that fits his needs (so lunch as early as 10:30 a.m. and dinner at 5:00 p.m.) but otherwise, I had been feeding him and offering milk on demand, just as I had since he was a newborn. But suddenly he was "asking" for a snack frequently and appeared to be sipping milk all day long. Because he was a "sipper," and not a kid who would chug a bottomless cup of milk in a sitting and end up drinking too much milk, I had given him free reign of his sippy cup.
Reading the book Child of Mine by Ellyn Satter, which was recommended by a pediatric nutritionist who visited our early childhood education class, helped me realize that while I had been doing a lot of things well when it came to introducing food and providing Oliver with a healthy diet, now that Oliver is a toddler, I can be doing more to set limits and expectations. I read the book right at the time that I felt like snacks were getting out of control (as in too many snacks) and that he might actually have started drinking enough milk to spoil his meals. I knew I was letting this happen because I had always thought you should feed a child if he or she is hungry and because, well, to be honest, I can only take so much whining. And Oliver WHINES, probably like any kid, when he wants something. But I learned from the book that toddlers are at an age when they can start to learn that everything doesn't revolve around them (i.e. they're hungry and want their dinner NOW, whether mom or dad is still cooking and regardless of what is expected of older siblings) and that if you are offering them filling snacks and meals at appropriate times, they won't starve to death if they're forced to wait 15 minutes for dinner. So I make sure Oliver has as much as he could want to eat at these designated times, but otherwise, the sippy cup of milk goes back in the fridge (he can always have water) and he's not offered food until the next snack or meal time.
It was really difficult to listen to him whine that first evening when I refused to drop everything I was doing in the kitchen to get his dinner ready first, but then something magical happened. He stopped whining and went back to playing with his toys. Ten minutes later, dinner was ready and we all sat down together. Miracle!
I still have to use the power of distraction and a pacifier during more challenging times, but I feel less stressed knowing I've regained some control over my kitchen and don't feel like I'm running a snack shack from sun up until sun down.
On the other end of the literature spectrum, the book Where is Baby's Belly Button inspired me to start teaching Oliver body parts. I thought he was catching on so quickly when I asked, "Where is Oliver's nose," and he promptly pointed to his nose. But ask him where any other body part is, or any question for that matter, and he points to his nose! Still got some work to do...
Friday, January 28, 2011
Renewed Gym Membership
At 22 pounds, Oliver is like one large, wiggly free weight and if I have any muscle tone left in my body after giving birth to him, it's the result of the heavy-lifting I do on a daily basis - the hoisting of baby onto the changing table and in and out of a car seat, balancing baby on my hip while trying to do a myriad of household tasks one-handed, or throwing baby up in the air to elicit smiles. I was clearly not out of shape, but 15 months after Oliver was born, I hardly felt in shape. So a week before Christmas, I finally caved and rejoined the gym.
I had been a near-daily runner, with a smattering of other sports thrown into my weekly activity mix, mainly soccer and cross-country skiing, depending upon the season, when Chris and I joined the gym together. I thought I would be intimidated by the body builders, but after some pointers from Chris and a trainer, I found my own routine in the weight room and discovered I liked weight-lifting.
Even when I became pregnant, I kept going to the gym through the end of my second trimester. But then summer was well underway and I preferred being outdoors, and by that point, well, I was big and uncomfortable. We were moving anyway. So I let my membership lapse.
Like any other new mom, I wanted to get back in shape. Through good diet and a commitment to physical fitness, I had worked my way to the best shape of my life before getting pregnant - without a gym membership - and I was determined to do it all over again. I would work with what I had or could manage, which really was just a few free weights, a mat and a stroller to take the baby with me walking. Besides everyone was telling me that chasing after your kid is forced exercise in itself.
So why did I end up joining the gym (and declining the childcare option)? I had been fairly active with Oliver by putting lots of miles on the stroller, but frankly, exercising with a baby is pretty limiting (especially during winter in Minnesota). And it was unsatisfying. You can't get a runner's high from walking. We were given a hand-me-down jogging stroller, but I have yet to use it, (and neither has Chris, for the record) because running while pushing a stroller sounds 100% unappealing. Running was a stress-reliever for me and getting a baby ready, getting a stroller out, hoping the baby doesn't get hungry or soil his diaper en route, stopping to check on baby and pushing all that extra weight and having your gait thrown off by running with one hand attached to a bar was not my idea of a stress-reliever. Nor were classes like stroller strides or baby yoga, or any other gimmicky "exercise" class designed to do with your baby. I wanted uninterrupted, kid-free exercise I could do at my pace.
I had been reluctant to rejoin the gym because a membership felt like an extravagance when there were other ways to get exercise (even if I discovered that many of my exercise plans for post-pregnancy were impractical) and I didn't think I would get my money's worth given how seldom I would be able to go. But while most of what I do at the gym could be replicated elsewhere, I finally accepted that getting myself out of the house for some solo uninterrupted exercise time was good for both my physical and mental health.
Most days my only form of cardiovascular exercise is still walking with the stroller (and more often at the mall than I ever thought would happen) and I'm thankful for that time to be active. I still think it's important to get outside and "exercise" with your kids, because it's modeling a healthy, active lifestyle and in most cases, gets them outdoors. But I've learned that your exercise routine isn't all about you - it's got to be geared towards your kids. They'll only want to spend so long strapped in a stroller or pulk sled before they want to do something else - eat, run around, go inside where it's warm. So even though I consider it a good week if I have time to go to the gym twice, those are two nights I come back home feeling a tad bit more fit and remarkably more relaxed.
I had been a near-daily runner, with a smattering of other sports thrown into my weekly activity mix, mainly soccer and cross-country skiing, depending upon the season, when Chris and I joined the gym together. I thought I would be intimidated by the body builders, but after some pointers from Chris and a trainer, I found my own routine in the weight room and discovered I liked weight-lifting.
Even when I became pregnant, I kept going to the gym through the end of my second trimester. But then summer was well underway and I preferred being outdoors, and by that point, well, I was big and uncomfortable. We were moving anyway. So I let my membership lapse.
Like any other new mom, I wanted to get back in shape. Through good diet and a commitment to physical fitness, I had worked my way to the best shape of my life before getting pregnant - without a gym membership - and I was determined to do it all over again. I would work with what I had or could manage, which really was just a few free weights, a mat and a stroller to take the baby with me walking. Besides everyone was telling me that chasing after your kid is forced exercise in itself.
So why did I end up joining the gym (and declining the childcare option)? I had been fairly active with Oliver by putting lots of miles on the stroller, but frankly, exercising with a baby is pretty limiting (especially during winter in Minnesota). And it was unsatisfying. You can't get a runner's high from walking. We were given a hand-me-down jogging stroller, but I have yet to use it, (and neither has Chris, for the record) because running while pushing a stroller sounds 100% unappealing. Running was a stress-reliever for me and getting a baby ready, getting a stroller out, hoping the baby doesn't get hungry or soil his diaper en route, stopping to check on baby and pushing all that extra weight and having your gait thrown off by running with one hand attached to a bar was not my idea of a stress-reliever. Nor were classes like stroller strides or baby yoga, or any other gimmicky "exercise" class designed to do with your baby. I wanted uninterrupted, kid-free exercise I could do at my pace.
I had been reluctant to rejoin the gym because a membership felt like an extravagance when there were other ways to get exercise (even if I discovered that many of my exercise plans for post-pregnancy were impractical) and I didn't think I would get my money's worth given how seldom I would be able to go. But while most of what I do at the gym could be replicated elsewhere, I finally accepted that getting myself out of the house for some solo uninterrupted exercise time was good for both my physical and mental health.
Most days my only form of cardiovascular exercise is still walking with the stroller (and more often at the mall than I ever thought would happen) and I'm thankful for that time to be active. I still think it's important to get outside and "exercise" with your kids, because it's modeling a healthy, active lifestyle and in most cases, gets them outdoors. But I've learned that your exercise routine isn't all about you - it's got to be geared towards your kids. They'll only want to spend so long strapped in a stroller or pulk sled before they want to do something else - eat, run around, go inside where it's warm. So even though I consider it a good week if I have time to go to the gym twice, those are two nights I come back home feeling a tad bit more fit and remarkably more relaxed.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Oliver's Book Recommendations
I wasn't totally unfamiliar with children's literature, but only after Oliver was born did I realize I had no idea what would be appropriate and interesting for newborns, babies and toddlers. I imagined myself reading the classics, but I never knew, for instance, that books with textures, silly rhymes and flaps would become a large part of our collection. The past 16 months have been an exploration into a subset of children's books and I thought I'd share Oliver's favorites to date. We discovered all of these books from gifts from friends, recommendations from early childhood experts, baby story times or digging through the bucket of board books at our library.
Especially for Newborns
You can read anything to a newborn, but the books that will catch their eye, literally, are anything with high-contrast pictures in black and white, and later on some red (around three months).
Black & White by Tana Hoban (the accordion version is especially great for tummy time)
Black on White by Tana Hoban
White on Black by Tana Hoban
Baby Animals by Phyllis Limbacher Tildes
My Big Animal Book (and others in the My Big... series) - Not meant for newborns, but the book is big and the large pictures of the animals are set against simple backgrounds, so the pictures weren't too "busy" to be distracting for a young baby.
Classics
Dr. Seuss's ABC: An Amazing Alphabet Book!
The Foot Book: Dr. Seuss's Wacky Book of Opposites
Mr. Brown Can Moo, Can You : Dr. Seuss's Book of Wonderful Noises
There's a Wocket in My Pocket! Dr. Seuss's Book of Ridiculous Rhymes
Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See? (or the other variations of What Do You See? or What Do You Hear?)
Are You My Mother?
Textured Books
That's Not My Puppy (and other That's Not My.... variations)
Touch and Feel books - Each book is devoted to a different subject- puppies, farms animals, dinosaurs, objects around the house, etc. - and in addition to photographs, each page contains the texture of one of the objects (the bumpy peel of an orange, the fluffy coat of a Labrador Retriever puppy, etc.).
Interactive Books
Panda in the Park
Little Puppy (and other finger puppet books in this series)
Lift-the-Flap Books
Oliver LOVES books that have flaps on the pages he can open and close. I'm guessing this obsession with flaps is linked to a baby's love for the game peekaboo.
Who Said Boo?
Who's at Home?
Where is Baby's Belly Button? (and many other lift-the-flap books by Karen Katz)
Christmastime is Here (or any of the Little People lift-the-flap books)
Finer Baby Literature
After months spent narrating picture books, I appreciate a book with a storyline.
Gossie (and other books by Olivier Dunrea)
Olivia (and other books in the Olivia series)
Everywhere Babies by Susan Meyers
Especially for Newborns
You can read anything to a newborn, but the books that will catch their eye, literally, are anything with high-contrast pictures in black and white, and later on some red (around three months).
Black & White by Tana Hoban (the accordion version is especially great for tummy time)
Black on White by Tana Hoban
White on Black by Tana Hoban
Baby Animals by Phyllis Limbacher Tildes
My Big Animal Book (and others in the My Big... series) - Not meant for newborns, but the book is big and the large pictures of the animals are set against simple backgrounds, so the pictures weren't too "busy" to be distracting for a young baby.
Classics
Dr. Seuss's ABC: An Amazing Alphabet Book!
The Foot Book: Dr. Seuss's Wacky Book of Opposites
Mr. Brown Can Moo, Can You : Dr. Seuss's Book of Wonderful Noises
There's a Wocket in My Pocket! Dr. Seuss's Book of Ridiculous Rhymes
Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See? (or the other variations of What Do You See? or What Do You Hear?)
Are You My Mother?
Textured Books
That's Not My Puppy (and other That's Not My.... variations)
Touch and Feel books - Each book is devoted to a different subject- puppies, farms animals, dinosaurs, objects around the house, etc. - and in addition to photographs, each page contains the texture of one of the objects (the bumpy peel of an orange, the fluffy coat of a Labrador Retriever puppy, etc.).
Interactive Books
Panda in the Park
Little Puppy (and other finger puppet books in this series)
Lift-the-Flap Books
Oliver LOVES books that have flaps on the pages he can open and close. I'm guessing this obsession with flaps is linked to a baby's love for the game peekaboo.
Who Said Boo?
Who's at Home?
Where is Baby's Belly Button? (and many other lift-the-flap books by Karen Katz)
Christmastime is Here (or any of the Little People lift-the-flap books)
Finer Baby Literature
After months spent narrating picture books, I appreciate a book with a storyline.
Gossie (and other books by Olivier Dunrea)
Olivia (and other books in the Olivia series)
Everywhere Babies by Susan Meyers
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Parenting Frustration
The past couple of days have been especially challenging. Oliver has been crying a lot. I don't have to say anymore in order for another parent to understand how I might be slowly be driven to insanity by the incessant whining and throw-myself-on-the-ground-and-cry-crocodile-tears type of behavior out of my otherwise adorable little boy. Despite Oliver's history with ear infections, I'm going to assume the cause of his general consternation is not that, but the two teeth that have been taking their good old time breaking through his top gum line.
Chris and I experienced an especially bad day on Sunday, a day we thought we'd savor because it was the only day out of the week Chris would actually see Oliver since his travel and school schedule had him away from home the other six days. Instead, we instituted three "chill out" times in Oliver's crib before he even went down for his official nap right after lunch. With Chris back in Dallas on Monday morning, I've been on my own again. I thought distraction would help Oliver's crabbiness, so yesterday it was the Children's Museum and today we went to story time at a local bookshop. While those outings were not complete failures, I'm hoping tomorrow's tot time at the gym of a nearby rec center elicits a few more smiles.
The days-long stretches of unabated neediness are challenging, but thankfully I'm not alone. Last week when I showed up for the January meal exchange, made up of women from my hospital group whose kids' birthdays are all within months of each other, the kids having "bad" weeks were in the majority. One mom and her husband were in such need of a break that they argued about who got to go deliver the food to the meal exchange and who had to stay home with the baby. (She cooked, so she got the free hour away.)
Eventually nighttime comes and if Oliver seems tired enough, I can put him to bed early. I have a few hours to decompress before my own bedtime. And as I drift off to sleep, I remind myself, tomorrow is another day, and wish for the best.
Chris and I experienced an especially bad day on Sunday, a day we thought we'd savor because it was the only day out of the week Chris would actually see Oliver since his travel and school schedule had him away from home the other six days. Instead, we instituted three "chill out" times in Oliver's crib before he even went down for his official nap right after lunch. With Chris back in Dallas on Monday morning, I've been on my own again. I thought distraction would help Oliver's crabbiness, so yesterday it was the Children's Museum and today we went to story time at a local bookshop. While those outings were not complete failures, I'm hoping tomorrow's tot time at the gym of a nearby rec center elicits a few more smiles.
The days-long stretches of unabated neediness are challenging, but thankfully I'm not alone. Last week when I showed up for the January meal exchange, made up of women from my hospital group whose kids' birthdays are all within months of each other, the kids having "bad" weeks were in the majority. One mom and her husband were in such need of a break that they argued about who got to go deliver the food to the meal exchange and who had to stay home with the baby. (She cooked, so she got the free hour away.)
Eventually nighttime comes and if Oliver seems tired enough, I can put him to bed early. I have a few hours to decompress before my own bedtime. And as I drift off to sleep, I remind myself, tomorrow is another day, and wish for the best.
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Putting on His Walking Shoes
I took Oliver to buy a new pair of shoes today because it felt like I was stuffing his little feet in those size four shoes he had been wearing. Plus, he needs a properly fitting shoe with a flexible sole for walking. Yes, Oliver is walking! Those shoes just aren't for show anymore.
To frame the expectations of what I mean by "walking," I must clarify that Oliver still does plenty of crawling. But in the past two weeks he'd progressed from taking a few steps (6.5 steps had been his max per attempt) about once a day to trying to walk as often as possible in the past few days. Although his walk exemplifies where the word "toddler" comes from, I've noticed he's become a lot more comfortable upright and moving on two feet. If he stumbles, he places his hands on the floor to steady himself, pops back up and continues on. Crawling is still the fastest for him, which he demonstrated when he heard his dad come through the door after a week-long business trip. Oliver dropped to the floor at the announcement that "Daddy's home!" and transitioned to the fastest signature crab crawl I've seen in awhile.
I'm guessing it could be a few weeks, or even months, until he stops resorting to crawling when he feels like it, so until then, I'll be resorting to carrying him wherever he can't crawl to, like to the car. My heavy-lifting days aren't behind me yet.
To frame the expectations of what I mean by "walking," I must clarify that Oliver still does plenty of crawling. But in the past two weeks he'd progressed from taking a few steps (6.5 steps had been his max per attempt) about once a day to trying to walk as often as possible in the past few days. Although his walk exemplifies where the word "toddler" comes from, I've noticed he's become a lot more comfortable upright and moving on two feet. If he stumbles, he places his hands on the floor to steady himself, pops back up and continues on. Crawling is still the fastest for him, which he demonstrated when he heard his dad come through the door after a week-long business trip. Oliver dropped to the floor at the announcement that "Daddy's home!" and transitioned to the fastest signature crab crawl I've seen in awhile.
I'm guessing it could be a few weeks, or even months, until he stops resorting to crawling when he feels like it, so until then, I'll be resorting to carrying him wherever he can't crawl to, like to the car. My heavy-lifting days aren't behind me yet.
Friday, January 14, 2011
Earning His Wings
With five roundtrip plane trips behind him, Oliver is well-traveled for a kid his age. And as the parent who has flown with him every time, I've suddenly become the go-to person among some of my friends on advice for traveling with babies. Which is ironic considering how anxious I was prior to my first trip with Oliver, (at three months) as I had no idea what it was like to travel with an extra person I'd be solely responsible for, I did not know how Oliver would react and I was traveling alone.
Despite how much I had traveled prior to having a baby, my first flight with Oliver felt like a venture into the unknown. I consulted the airline's website and tried to find advice online, but came up with only general information. My moms groups ended up being my source of moral support and tips, especially since some women had traveled on long international flights (and they lived to tell about it!). That first flight to Philadelphia and back happened with not even a minor mishap, but I did learn a lot about flying with babies that I thought would be helpful to share with other parents.
Toddlers and younger are my frame of reference for traveling with kids, so that is what my travel advice is based on. But the little information I found about traveling with kids seemed to be written for parents of newborns or kids who no longer needed high chairs, sippy cups or naps. With the minimum time lapse between flights with Oliver being two months, I discovered that our experience was totally different each time and became more difficult as he slept less and become more mobile. As a newborn, Oliver slept in my arms and woke just to nurse, by our trip to Seattle in August, we were packing finger foods and bottles and toys he could amuse himself with in our laps, and just two months later, I had a baby who could crawl and didn't want to be confined to our seat. The observation by a mom of an older toddler I talked with on our flight back from Seattle seems to be accurate - traveling with kids gets harder before it gets easier. And at 15 months, Oliver is far from being out of the difficult-to-travel-with stage.
Newborn stage
Babies under three months are the easiest to travel with because they're small and will sleep anywhere. As they're not very interactive at this age, much of their awake time is spent eating and hopefully the rest of the time they sleep and you can enjoy a book or the onboard movie.
Between three and six months can also be relatively easy if your baby isn't crawling or trying to crawl yet, as they're likely to be content sitting in your lap and batting at any toy you dangle in front of their faces and cooing at the adoring flight attendants. If your baby is like Oliver, who quickly put himself on a nap schedule and outgrew being able to sleep with a lot of noise and other distractions, I found that wearing my nursing cover and letting it drape over his head as I held him in my arms was enough to block visual stimulation and light and allow him to get some semblance of a nap.
Even if babies aren't exclusively breastfed, formula can be pre-measured and packed in ziplock bags or a formula dispenser and you can even pre-fill bottles with water if you don't want to have to ask a flight attendant to fill it for you.
This "easy" age is counteracted by the fact that as a parent of a young baby, you're probably sleep-deprived and overwhelmed by the fear of not packing enough diapers or having to be somewhere on time, especially for an airline departure. That first flight with Oliver was also the first time I knew I would have to breastfeed in public. I had never used a nursing cover before, but I bought one just for the trip because I preferred to ease myself into public nursing. While it took a number of weeks to fully become comfortable with the practice, I was surprise by what nursing in a confined public space did for my confidence.
Diaper bag essentials:
- enough diapers and wipes to account for delays
- change of clothes for baby
- nursing cover
- spare shirt for you - Who wants to spend the next couple of hours wearing spit-up?
- baby carrier - once the stroller is folded up ready for gate check, keep your hands free for toting carry-ons by wearing your baby
- car seat
- stroller
Pre-mobile stage
Babies who aren't crawling or learning to crawl are still manageable to fly with on your lap because they stay relatively content there. You can entertain them with small plush toys or rattles, or whatever is around you, like empty pretzel wrappers or the cards and magazines in the seat-back pocket. But they're awake for longer stretches and still active, even if they're not mobile, so they need constant attention. Thus, there's nothing relaxing about traveling with a baby!
By this stage in their lives, napping away from the crib and with too much surrounding stimulation may be too difficult for an older baby. The seatback on Oliver's stroller reclines fully and we had some success in getting him to fall asleep for at least a short nap while walking the concourses. Once on the plane, we tried the nursing cover again, but by a year old he was so much bigger and it was no longer effective.
The biggest change with babies six months and older is the introduction of solid foods. Since we did baby-led weaning, I fretted about what to bring to feed to Oliver that wasn't messy and actually considered feeding him purees for the first time. But younger babies, especially those under nine months, aren't on a particular meal schedule, and they'll happily subsist off of dry snack foods, in addition to the breastmilk or formula that still actually accounts for the majority of their daily nutritional needs. Any structure of meal and snack times your baby has developed over the months since introducing solids will probably be moot while traveling and I discovered that a snack trap full of Cheerios, which Oliver plucked away at one-by-one, is a wonderful time-killer. We bought a new bib, one made of silicone (easily washable and dryable) with a food catcher built in so he wouldn't spill bits of food (in theory) and let him gorge himself on the Puffs, yogurt melts, dry cereal and crackers and teething biscuits we brought.
After some really embarrassing incidents shortly after the crack-down on bringing liquids and gels through airport security where breastfeeding moms were forced to dump their pumped breastmilk, TSA now bends over backwards to accommodate parents toting formula or breastmilk through security. But the best-kept TSA secret is that exceptions don't stop with breastmilk or formula. You can bring any foods through security if you say they're for your child. They don't even have to be unopened or in their original containers. Instead of paying $2+ for a container of yogurt each for Oliver and me, I bring a whole milk yogurt for Oliver and a fat-free for me. Declare any foods or beverages that don't meed the under-3-oz. rule and coolers with ice packs and TSA will take them aside after they've gone through the scanner to test the outside for explosives residue. They won't open anything.
Diaper bag essentials:
- a small toy or two
- dry snacks in a snack trap
- bib with a food catcher
- change of clothes - sure they could still have a blow-out, but Oliver manages to come off every flight with the remains of his snack caked to his face and clothes
Mobile stage
By the time your child is crawling, flying becomes more difficult, as they are getting to the age where they just want to move, move, move and get into everything. I let Oliver burn off as much energy in the terminal and then try to occupy him with snacks between boarding and take-off. Hopefully the fasten seatbelt light has been turned off by the time Oliver gets antsy and I can let him crawl in the aisle.
Not every flight has gone this smoothly. There have been times when were stuck in our seat when he wanted to be crawling around. I thought he was on the verge of a full-blown tantrum, but even though the time spent trying to soothe a seemingly unsoothable kid with songs, stories and the cookies handed to me from the sympathetic flight attendant seemed futile, toddlers do understand more than it appears and Oliver seemed to eventually understand that we really did just have to sit there and he calmed down, somewhat. At least I don't think anyone on that flight wrote an e-mail to the airline demanding that kids be banned from airplanes.
As any parent knows, the reason a kid is most likely throwing a tantrum is because he or she is tired. By the time Oliver dropped to one nap a day around 13-14 months of age, he relied on that 2.5-hour nap and understandably couldn't go without. As I've alluded to earlier in this post, Oliver is a predictable sleeper, which is a blessing, but he also does not just nap on the go and is a mess without proper sleep. He is simply a kid who needs his sleep. And that left me in a bind, because there is no flight short enough to allow us enough time to get to the airport, check in, board, arrive at our destination and get him into a crib all between either his morning wake-up and nap, or nap wake-up and bedtime.
Benadryl was my savior. Before anyone cries foul about my off-label use of the drug, I did discuss it with Oliver's pediatrician, who agreed it was a reasonable scenario for medicinally inducing sleep (for a baby over six months of age) and a pharmacist calculated the dosage based on Oliver's age and weight. When our direct flight right after Christmas was canceled due to weather, we had to take a connecting flight via Memphis. The timing of the first flight happened to be perfect because Oliver woke up from a nap before we needed to leave for the airport. As we killed time in the airport in Memphis, I could tell that Oliver's energy and excitement over new surroundings were starting to go downhill, quickly. He ate little for dinner and eventually didn't even want to sip on his milk. He just wanted to sleep, but he couldn't. I thought if I could just get him to hang on until take-off, the dimmed lights and vibration of the plane would soothe him to sleep. Even though I had him wrapped in a blanket and snuggled in my arms, he just could not sleep and he cried out in frustration. I felt sorry for him, the passengers around me and myself. Sympathetic flight attendants and seatmates offered up suggestions for cheering him up, but all were useless, because honestly, he was just tired and wanted to sleep. Once I'd tried everything to help him fall asleep, I finally gave him Benadryl and he was asleep within five minutes and didn't wake up until an hour later when we'd arrived at the gates and the cabin lights were turned back on. So yeah, Benadryl will remain on our packing list.
As your child approaches a year old, you may be making the transition to cow's milk. You have a couple of options besides adding a cooler of pre-filled bottles of milk to your most-likely unmanageable volume of carry-on. If your baby already drinks soy milk, or likes the taste of soy milk, you can buy 8 oz. shelf-stable packages, similar to the juice boxes from your lunchbox youth. The aseptic packaging doesn't require refrigeration until opened, so it's convenient to throw extra 8 oz. containers in the diaper bag. More difficult to find are the same packages with shelf-stable cow's milk.
If you have a long trip, powders are easier to pack in larger quantities. Powdered whole milk is also difficult to find; although, it's available on Amazon. The easiest though, especially if you're still trying to transition your baby to cow's milk and are still mixing milk with formula, is to use a toddler formula. Even Target makes a house brand of this formula designed for children 9-24 months. While the majority of babies do not need special toddler formula, this is a great alternative when traveling.
Checking In
If your child is traveling in your lap, make sure your boarding pass has "infant in arms" printed on it. This designation insures that you will be able to gate check items and alerts airline employees with access to your itinerary that you may need special accommodations (such as in case of a rebooking due to weather delays). You may not be able to designate you are traveling with a baby when you book your ticket online, but you can go into your itinerary after you've purchased your ticket and add your child.
Even if you're flying alone, having someone accompany you to baggage check is a big help. Gone are the days when you can fly with just a carry-on, so count on checking at least one bag. Once your bag is checked, you'll be able to manage the stroller and your carry-ons on your own.
Some airports have family lanes at security and even if you don't think you need a low-pressure line where you don't feel guilty about taking your good old time, inquire anyway. I've approached some dauntingly-long security lines, but the family lane might as well be labeled VIP and be corned off with a velvet rope, because once TSA sees you with a child, they'll open up the family lane for you and you'll find yourself at the front of the line.
Your stroller and car seat will need to go through the x-ray machine and your little ones will need to remove shoes and jackets just like the adults, so be strategic about the order of operations. I leave Oliver in his stroller while I send everything else through the x-ray machine. I put anything food or beverages I need to "declare" in a separate bin. I'm able to fold up Oliver's stroller and hoist it onto the conveyor belt with one hand, but inevitably, someone offers to do it for me. Meanwhile, you will be able to walk through the metal detector holding your baby.
If you're used to breezing through security, bringing a baby and all his or her gear through can leave you feeling overwhelmed, or when you see your possessions taking up the entire conveyor belt, at least like you overpacked. However, I was pleasantly surprised at how helpful the TSA employees were and I've never felt rushed.
Car seats - If you do not having a car seat waiting for you on the other end, it may be easier (and cheaper, say if you would otherwise have to rent one from the car rental agency) to bring your own. Airlines allow you, free of charge, (believe it or not, some services are still free) to check your car seat with your luggage or at the gate.
Chris and I have argued about which makes more sense. He'd prefer not to have to lug the car seat through the airport, but since I had figured out how to strap the seat to the back of Oliver's stroller, I was more at ease dealing with the slight inconvenience if it meant I knew the seat wouldn't be lost. That is until our last flight when we got off the plane and only our stroller was waiting for us in the causeway between the plane and the terminal. A ground employee searched the cargo hold and still couldn't find the car seat. I was afraid that with all the strollers and car seats needing to be loaded on our plane in Philadelphia, (there were a lot of kids on our flight) perhaps ours had been forgotten and was never even loaded on the plane. The gate agent assured me that the airport had car seats to loan, something had not known about, but it turns out a loaner wasn't needed. As we waited at the baggage carousel, we looked up to see a ground crew member walking towards us with our awol car seat. The gate check tag had gotten ripped off and therefore it hadn't been pulled off the plane, which was headed on to Albuquerque after an hour layover, when we landed in Minneapolis. Although I consider this incident an anomaly, now that I know that the airport has extra car seats on hand, I may feel more comfortable checking it with my luggage.
If you opt to gate check, ask the gate agent for a gate check tag. Whether you gate check or not, bring a cover for the car seat to keep it from getting dirty. (A heavy-duty trash bag works well.) Just make sure the luggage or gate check tag is affixed to the car seat and sticking out of the cover.
Strollers
You have the same options with a stroller as with a car seat. No matter how old or young, big or small your child is, or whether you think you'll be more comfortable using a baby carrier, because that's what you use at home anyway, I vote for bringing a stroller. (And I still bring my Ergo too.) Even newborn babies start to feel heavy if you've been carrying them for hours and especially if you're traveling alone, as I have done many times, you will welcome the break. You will also need to go to the bathroom at some point. It doesn't take a big imagination to realize that answering the call of nature is easier with your child in a stroller rather than strapped to you.
Strollers also come with cargo space so you don't also have to schlepp the diaper bag along with your kid.
If your baby has started solids, the stroller doubles as a high chair. Unless Oliver is strapped down during meal and snack times, he'll crawl all over the place. Even though our stroller doesn't have a snack tray, he sits in it to eat when we're traveling and I hand him piece of food.
Depending upon your destination, a stroller may not be the most practical. When we traveled to Seattle, we were renting a compact and would be getting on and off buses while sightseeing in the city. Although I'd flown with our large Graco travel system stroller, we finally invested in Chicco Liteway, chosen for its light weight, durability, smaller size (both when folded and unfolded) and fully reclining seat (for naps on the go).
As with the car seat, you'll want to think about how to keep your stroller clean while in the cargo hold. Sometimes I've wrapped it in plastic, other times I just take a chance it's not raining when they unload the luggage. The best option is to buy a stroller cover, which not only keeps it clean, but provides a bit of protection against the inevitable bumps and jostling the stroller will endure.
Buying a seat for your child
If you can afford to buy a seat for your child, do so. It's the safest for your baby and most convenient for you, even though it means bringing your own car seat on board. Your child may sleep better in a car seat and might not feel the urge to try to roam if he or she is strapped in.
Before you buy a seat for your baby, make sure you have a car seat that is approved for use on an aircraft. A sticker affixed to the car seat should say something along the lines of "This car seat is approved for aircraft travel." (It will not say "FAA-aproved.") Next you should call the airline and ask about additional requirements for car seats. For instance, a car seat may be approved for aircraft use, but the airline you are traveling on may have restrictions on how wide the car seat may be.
Consider the weight and size of the car seat if purchasing with airline travel in mind. Our Combi Coccoro weighs 12 pounds and is considered a lightweight car seat, but I can't imagine having to lug an even heavier one. We connect the LATCH straps and use that to attach to the back of the stroller. Even so, the car seat barely cleared the ground and until our son surpassed 20 pounds, we had to be careful that the car seat didn't pull the stroller down.
If you don't own an appropriate car seat, you can purchase an inexpensive one to use on the plane and then it can become your back-up car seat for the grandparent's or babysitter's car when not traveling. You can buy an Evenflo Chase for under $60.
For all I've written about buying a seat for your baby, we have yet to buy a seat for Oliver and none of my friends with similar-age kids has either. Now that Oliver is bigger and more active, we are considering buying him a seat on our next trip, only because he's becoming a handful to have on our laps.
Final Pep Talk
It's easy to imagine all that could go horribly wrong flying with a baby, (namely, your kid screaming the entire flight) but the reality is, your trip will go relatively smoothly. Your fellow travelers and those overworked airline employees really do have a soft spot for kids and you'll be surprised how much strangers are willing to help out. Sure, there's a chance your baby will need a diaper change the second the plane is about to take off and it's nearly guaranteed your baby will cry at some point, but as parents we deal with stressful situations with our kids daily, so we'll manage with whatever new situations are presented to us while traveling. And even though your baby screamed during the plane's descent, despite your desperate attempt to adhere to the most oft-heard advice about nursing your baby during take-off and landing, you'll step off the plane, realize you and your kid made it in one piece and will think that all went pretty well.
Despite how much I had traveled prior to having a baby, my first flight with Oliver felt like a venture into the unknown. I consulted the airline's website and tried to find advice online, but came up with only general information. My moms groups ended up being my source of moral support and tips, especially since some women had traveled on long international flights (and they lived to tell about it!). That first flight to Philadelphia and back happened with not even a minor mishap, but I did learn a lot about flying with babies that I thought would be helpful to share with other parents.
Toddlers and younger are my frame of reference for traveling with kids, so that is what my travel advice is based on. But the little information I found about traveling with kids seemed to be written for parents of newborns or kids who no longer needed high chairs, sippy cups or naps. With the minimum time lapse between flights with Oliver being two months, I discovered that our experience was totally different each time and became more difficult as he slept less and become more mobile. As a newborn, Oliver slept in my arms and woke just to nurse, by our trip to Seattle in August, we were packing finger foods and bottles and toys he could amuse himself with in our laps, and just two months later, I had a baby who could crawl and didn't want to be confined to our seat. The observation by a mom of an older toddler I talked with on our flight back from Seattle seems to be accurate - traveling with kids gets harder before it gets easier. And at 15 months, Oliver is far from being out of the difficult-to-travel-with stage.
Newborn stage
Babies under three months are the easiest to travel with because they're small and will sleep anywhere. As they're not very interactive at this age, much of their awake time is spent eating and hopefully the rest of the time they sleep and you can enjoy a book or the onboard movie.
Between three and six months can also be relatively easy if your baby isn't crawling or trying to crawl yet, as they're likely to be content sitting in your lap and batting at any toy you dangle in front of their faces and cooing at the adoring flight attendants. If your baby is like Oliver, who quickly put himself on a nap schedule and outgrew being able to sleep with a lot of noise and other distractions, I found that wearing my nursing cover and letting it drape over his head as I held him in my arms was enough to block visual stimulation and light and allow him to get some semblance of a nap.
Even if babies aren't exclusively breastfed, formula can be pre-measured and packed in ziplock bags or a formula dispenser and you can even pre-fill bottles with water if you don't want to have to ask a flight attendant to fill it for you.
This "easy" age is counteracted by the fact that as a parent of a young baby, you're probably sleep-deprived and overwhelmed by the fear of not packing enough diapers or having to be somewhere on time, especially for an airline departure. That first flight with Oliver was also the first time I knew I would have to breastfeed in public. I had never used a nursing cover before, but I bought one just for the trip because I preferred to ease myself into public nursing. While it took a number of weeks to fully become comfortable with the practice, I was surprise by what nursing in a confined public space did for my confidence.
Diaper bag essentials:
- enough diapers and wipes to account for delays
- change of clothes for baby
- nursing cover
- spare shirt for you - Who wants to spend the next couple of hours wearing spit-up?
- baby carrier - once the stroller is folded up ready for gate check, keep your hands free for toting carry-ons by wearing your baby
- car seat
- stroller
Pre-mobile stage
Babies who aren't crawling or learning to crawl are still manageable to fly with on your lap because they stay relatively content there. You can entertain them with small plush toys or rattles, or whatever is around you, like empty pretzel wrappers or the cards and magazines in the seat-back pocket. But they're awake for longer stretches and still active, even if they're not mobile, so they need constant attention. Thus, there's nothing relaxing about traveling with a baby!
By this stage in their lives, napping away from the crib and with too much surrounding stimulation may be too difficult for an older baby. The seatback on Oliver's stroller reclines fully and we had some success in getting him to fall asleep for at least a short nap while walking the concourses. Once on the plane, we tried the nursing cover again, but by a year old he was so much bigger and it was no longer effective.
The biggest change with babies six months and older is the introduction of solid foods. Since we did baby-led weaning, I fretted about what to bring to feed to Oliver that wasn't messy and actually considered feeding him purees for the first time. But younger babies, especially those under nine months, aren't on a particular meal schedule, and they'll happily subsist off of dry snack foods, in addition to the breastmilk or formula that still actually accounts for the majority of their daily nutritional needs. Any structure of meal and snack times your baby has developed over the months since introducing solids will probably be moot while traveling and I discovered that a snack trap full of Cheerios, which Oliver plucked away at one-by-one, is a wonderful time-killer. We bought a new bib, one made of silicone (easily washable and dryable) with a food catcher built in so he wouldn't spill bits of food (in theory) and let him gorge himself on the Puffs, yogurt melts, dry cereal and crackers and teething biscuits we brought.
After some really embarrassing incidents shortly after the crack-down on bringing liquids and gels through airport security where breastfeeding moms were forced to dump their pumped breastmilk, TSA now bends over backwards to accommodate parents toting formula or breastmilk through security. But the best-kept TSA secret is that exceptions don't stop with breastmilk or formula. You can bring any foods through security if you say they're for your child. They don't even have to be unopened or in their original containers. Instead of paying $2+ for a container of yogurt each for Oliver and me, I bring a whole milk yogurt for Oliver and a fat-free for me. Declare any foods or beverages that don't meed the under-3-oz. rule and coolers with ice packs and TSA will take them aside after they've gone through the scanner to test the outside for explosives residue. They won't open anything.
Diaper bag essentials:
- a small toy or two
- dry snacks in a snack trap
- bib with a food catcher
- change of clothes - sure they could still have a blow-out, but Oliver manages to come off every flight with the remains of his snack caked to his face and clothes
Mobile stage
By the time your child is crawling, flying becomes more difficult, as they are getting to the age where they just want to move, move, move and get into everything. I let Oliver burn off as much energy in the terminal and then try to occupy him with snacks between boarding and take-off. Hopefully the fasten seatbelt light has been turned off by the time Oliver gets antsy and I can let him crawl in the aisle.
Not every flight has gone this smoothly. There have been times when were stuck in our seat when he wanted to be crawling around. I thought he was on the verge of a full-blown tantrum, but even though the time spent trying to soothe a seemingly unsoothable kid with songs, stories and the cookies handed to me from the sympathetic flight attendant seemed futile, toddlers do understand more than it appears and Oliver seemed to eventually understand that we really did just have to sit there and he calmed down, somewhat. At least I don't think anyone on that flight wrote an e-mail to the airline demanding that kids be banned from airplanes.
As any parent knows, the reason a kid is most likely throwing a tantrum is because he or she is tired. By the time Oliver dropped to one nap a day around 13-14 months of age, he relied on that 2.5-hour nap and understandably couldn't go without. As I've alluded to earlier in this post, Oliver is a predictable sleeper, which is a blessing, but he also does not just nap on the go and is a mess without proper sleep. He is simply a kid who needs his sleep. And that left me in a bind, because there is no flight short enough to allow us enough time to get to the airport, check in, board, arrive at our destination and get him into a crib all between either his morning wake-up and nap, or nap wake-up and bedtime.
Benadryl was my savior. Before anyone cries foul about my off-label use of the drug, I did discuss it with Oliver's pediatrician, who agreed it was a reasonable scenario for medicinally inducing sleep (for a baby over six months of age) and a pharmacist calculated the dosage based on Oliver's age and weight. When our direct flight right after Christmas was canceled due to weather, we had to take a connecting flight via Memphis. The timing of the first flight happened to be perfect because Oliver woke up from a nap before we needed to leave for the airport. As we killed time in the airport in Memphis, I could tell that Oliver's energy and excitement over new surroundings were starting to go downhill, quickly. He ate little for dinner and eventually didn't even want to sip on his milk. He just wanted to sleep, but he couldn't. I thought if I could just get him to hang on until take-off, the dimmed lights and vibration of the plane would soothe him to sleep. Even though I had him wrapped in a blanket and snuggled in my arms, he just could not sleep and he cried out in frustration. I felt sorry for him, the passengers around me and myself. Sympathetic flight attendants and seatmates offered up suggestions for cheering him up, but all were useless, because honestly, he was just tired and wanted to sleep. Once I'd tried everything to help him fall asleep, I finally gave him Benadryl and he was asleep within five minutes and didn't wake up until an hour later when we'd arrived at the gates and the cabin lights were turned back on. So yeah, Benadryl will remain on our packing list.
As your child approaches a year old, you may be making the transition to cow's milk. You have a couple of options besides adding a cooler of pre-filled bottles of milk to your most-likely unmanageable volume of carry-on. If your baby already drinks soy milk, or likes the taste of soy milk, you can buy 8 oz. shelf-stable packages, similar to the juice boxes from your lunchbox youth. The aseptic packaging doesn't require refrigeration until opened, so it's convenient to throw extra 8 oz. containers in the diaper bag. More difficult to find are the same packages with shelf-stable cow's milk.
If you have a long trip, powders are easier to pack in larger quantities. Powdered whole milk is also difficult to find; although, it's available on Amazon. The easiest though, especially if you're still trying to transition your baby to cow's milk and are still mixing milk with formula, is to use a toddler formula. Even Target makes a house brand of this formula designed for children 9-24 months. While the majority of babies do not need special toddler formula, this is a great alternative when traveling.
Checking In
If your child is traveling in your lap, make sure your boarding pass has "infant in arms" printed on it. This designation insures that you will be able to gate check items and alerts airline employees with access to your itinerary that you may need special accommodations (such as in case of a rebooking due to weather delays). You may not be able to designate you are traveling with a baby when you book your ticket online, but you can go into your itinerary after you've purchased your ticket and add your child.
Even if you're flying alone, having someone accompany you to baggage check is a big help. Gone are the days when you can fly with just a carry-on, so count on checking at least one bag. Once your bag is checked, you'll be able to manage the stroller and your carry-ons on your own.
Some airports have family lanes at security and even if you don't think you need a low-pressure line where you don't feel guilty about taking your good old time, inquire anyway. I've approached some dauntingly-long security lines, but the family lane might as well be labeled VIP and be corned off with a velvet rope, because once TSA sees you with a child, they'll open up the family lane for you and you'll find yourself at the front of the line.
Your stroller and car seat will need to go through the x-ray machine and your little ones will need to remove shoes and jackets just like the adults, so be strategic about the order of operations. I leave Oliver in his stroller while I send everything else through the x-ray machine. I put anything food or beverages I need to "declare" in a separate bin. I'm able to fold up Oliver's stroller and hoist it onto the conveyor belt with one hand, but inevitably, someone offers to do it for me. Meanwhile, you will be able to walk through the metal detector holding your baby.
If you're used to breezing through security, bringing a baby and all his or her gear through can leave you feeling overwhelmed, or when you see your possessions taking up the entire conveyor belt, at least like you overpacked. However, I was pleasantly surprised at how helpful the TSA employees were and I've never felt rushed.
Car seats - If you do not having a car seat waiting for you on the other end, it may be easier (and cheaper, say if you would otherwise have to rent one from the car rental agency) to bring your own. Airlines allow you, free of charge, (believe it or not, some services are still free) to check your car seat with your luggage or at the gate.
Chris and I have argued about which makes more sense. He'd prefer not to have to lug the car seat through the airport, but since I had figured out how to strap the seat to the back of Oliver's stroller, I was more at ease dealing with the slight inconvenience if it meant I knew the seat wouldn't be lost. That is until our last flight when we got off the plane and only our stroller was waiting for us in the causeway between the plane and the terminal. A ground employee searched the cargo hold and still couldn't find the car seat. I was afraid that with all the strollers and car seats needing to be loaded on our plane in Philadelphia, (there were a lot of kids on our flight) perhaps ours had been forgotten and was never even loaded on the plane. The gate agent assured me that the airport had car seats to loan, something had not known about, but it turns out a loaner wasn't needed. As we waited at the baggage carousel, we looked up to see a ground crew member walking towards us with our awol car seat. The gate check tag had gotten ripped off and therefore it hadn't been pulled off the plane, which was headed on to Albuquerque after an hour layover, when we landed in Minneapolis. Although I consider this incident an anomaly, now that I know that the airport has extra car seats on hand, I may feel more comfortable checking it with my luggage.
If you opt to gate check, ask the gate agent for a gate check tag. Whether you gate check or not, bring a cover for the car seat to keep it from getting dirty. (A heavy-duty trash bag works well.) Just make sure the luggage or gate check tag is affixed to the car seat and sticking out of the cover.
Strollers
You have the same options with a stroller as with a car seat. No matter how old or young, big or small your child is, or whether you think you'll be more comfortable using a baby carrier, because that's what you use at home anyway, I vote for bringing a stroller. (And I still bring my Ergo too.) Even newborn babies start to feel heavy if you've been carrying them for hours and especially if you're traveling alone, as I have done many times, you will welcome the break. You will also need to go to the bathroom at some point. It doesn't take a big imagination to realize that answering the call of nature is easier with your child in a stroller rather than strapped to you.
Strollers also come with cargo space so you don't also have to schlepp the diaper bag along with your kid.
If your baby has started solids, the stroller doubles as a high chair. Unless Oliver is strapped down during meal and snack times, he'll crawl all over the place. Even though our stroller doesn't have a snack tray, he sits in it to eat when we're traveling and I hand him piece of food.
Depending upon your destination, a stroller may not be the most practical. When we traveled to Seattle, we were renting a compact and would be getting on and off buses while sightseeing in the city. Although I'd flown with our large Graco travel system stroller, we finally invested in Chicco Liteway, chosen for its light weight, durability, smaller size (both when folded and unfolded) and fully reclining seat (for naps on the go).
As with the car seat, you'll want to think about how to keep your stroller clean while in the cargo hold. Sometimes I've wrapped it in plastic, other times I just take a chance it's not raining when they unload the luggage. The best option is to buy a stroller cover, which not only keeps it clean, but provides a bit of protection against the inevitable bumps and jostling the stroller will endure.
Buying a seat for your child
If you can afford to buy a seat for your child, do so. It's the safest for your baby and most convenient for you, even though it means bringing your own car seat on board. Your child may sleep better in a car seat and might not feel the urge to try to roam if he or she is strapped in.
Before you buy a seat for your baby, make sure you have a car seat that is approved for use on an aircraft. A sticker affixed to the car seat should say something along the lines of "This car seat is approved for aircraft travel." (It will not say "FAA-aproved.") Next you should call the airline and ask about additional requirements for car seats. For instance, a car seat may be approved for aircraft use, but the airline you are traveling on may have restrictions on how wide the car seat may be.
Consider the weight and size of the car seat if purchasing with airline travel in mind. Our Combi Coccoro weighs 12 pounds and is considered a lightweight car seat, but I can't imagine having to lug an even heavier one. We connect the LATCH straps and use that to attach to the back of the stroller. Even so, the car seat barely cleared the ground and until our son surpassed 20 pounds, we had to be careful that the car seat didn't pull the stroller down.
If you don't own an appropriate car seat, you can purchase an inexpensive one to use on the plane and then it can become your back-up car seat for the grandparent's or babysitter's car when not traveling. You can buy an Evenflo Chase for under $60.
For all I've written about buying a seat for your baby, we have yet to buy a seat for Oliver and none of my friends with similar-age kids has either. Now that Oliver is bigger and more active, we are considering buying him a seat on our next trip, only because he's becoming a handful to have on our laps.
Final Pep Talk
It's easy to imagine all that could go horribly wrong flying with a baby, (namely, your kid screaming the entire flight) but the reality is, your trip will go relatively smoothly. Your fellow travelers and those overworked airline employees really do have a soft spot for kids and you'll be surprised how much strangers are willing to help out. Sure, there's a chance your baby will need a diaper change the second the plane is about to take off and it's nearly guaranteed your baby will cry at some point, but as parents we deal with stressful situations with our kids daily, so we'll manage with whatever new situations are presented to us while traveling. And even though your baby screamed during the plane's descent, despite your desperate attempt to adhere to the most oft-heard advice about nursing your baby during take-off and landing, you'll step off the plane, realize you and your kid made it in one piece and will think that all went pretty well.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Toddler Playdate
The last of the toddlers had just left Oliver's playdate when his Uncle Andy arrived early yesterday evening to babysit. He found a house in disarray. Furniture had been shoved aside, every toy Oliver possesses and every piece of those toys was strewn across the carpet, snack crumbs were everywhere and Oliver had just dumped the remainder of the Cheerios box on the floor by the door. The cereal crunched underfoot as I stumbled towards the door to let Andy in. Oliver had entertained six baby friends and it showed. If Andy looked shocked at the sight of my house, I was equally as shocked. Naively, I had never imagined parenthood would be this messy.
The word "playdate" conjures the notion that kids play on these dates, but for toddlers, an afternoon playdate more resembles feeding time at the zoo. Since Oliver had woken up from a nap shortly before the playdate started, he needed a snack, so out came the Cheerios. Another mom had brought homemade graham crackers. The snacks were barely out of their perspective packaging when the kids started clamoring for them. They swarmed whichever parent held food and plucked from the floor any fallen pieces of grub. I felt like I was feeding pigeons. They shoved fistfuls in their mouths and still reached for more even with their mouths stuffed. When the box of Cheerios looked dangerously low and a tantrum nearly erupted over a container of puffs, I found another unopened container stashed in the back of my cupboard and the noshing continued. I spent much of the afternoon with my hand outstretched for kids to graze from. I joked that I should have saved myself the trouble and bought one of those pet food dispensers and tought the kids how to serve themselves.
Despite the fact that the kids seemed to spend much of the playdate stuffing their mouths, they did do some playing in between. In true toddler style, they dumped the toy bucket, climbed on the couch, scooted my dining room chairs across the hardwood floors, crawled and stumbled over each other, moved in packs and occasionally looked like they were actually playing with each other. My living room took a beating, but they had fun and us moms appreciated the company of other adults.
By the time the playdate ended and I got Oliver's dinner ready, I was already running late, so I left the house as is. I was relieved and grateful when I came home to see that Andy had hunted down the stray pieces to Oliver's toys, put everything back in its place, stacked the board books on the coffee table and washed Oliver's booster seat and sippy cups. A mom's wish come true!
The word "playdate" conjures the notion that kids play on these dates, but for toddlers, an afternoon playdate more resembles feeding time at the zoo. Since Oliver had woken up from a nap shortly before the playdate started, he needed a snack, so out came the Cheerios. Another mom had brought homemade graham crackers. The snacks were barely out of their perspective packaging when the kids started clamoring for them. They swarmed whichever parent held food and plucked from the floor any fallen pieces of grub. I felt like I was feeding pigeons. They shoved fistfuls in their mouths and still reached for more even with their mouths stuffed. When the box of Cheerios looked dangerously low and a tantrum nearly erupted over a container of puffs, I found another unopened container stashed in the back of my cupboard and the noshing continued. I spent much of the afternoon with my hand outstretched for kids to graze from. I joked that I should have saved myself the trouble and bought one of those pet food dispensers and tought the kids how to serve themselves.
Despite the fact that the kids seemed to spend much of the playdate stuffing their mouths, they did do some playing in between. In true toddler style, they dumped the toy bucket, climbed on the couch, scooted my dining room chairs across the hardwood floors, crawled and stumbled over each other, moved in packs and occasionally looked like they were actually playing with each other. My living room took a beating, but they had fun and us moms appreciated the company of other adults.
By the time the playdate ended and I got Oliver's dinner ready, I was already running late, so I left the house as is. I was relieved and grateful when I came home to see that Andy had hunted down the stray pieces to Oliver's toys, put everything back in its place, stacked the board books on the coffee table and washed Oliver's booster seat and sippy cups. A mom's wish come true!
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Oliver update: 15 months
At 15 months, Oliver is on the verge of so much - walking, sprouting teeth, language comprehension - but isn't quite there yet. I predict that in the next three months he's going to truly emerge from baby to toddler.
Oliver started taking his first steps just after his 14th month, but his attempts at walking were really sporadic. By Christmas he had been standing up consistently on his own without pulling himself up and his spurts of attempting to walk slowly increased. He set a personal record last week with 20 steps. He rounded the corner of the room and headed towards the door and I expected him to keep walking and never return to crawling, but then he stopped, let himself plop onto his bottom and continued on with his signature crawl.
His attempts at walking come in spurts throughout the day. He'll take a few steps, fall down, get up again, try to walk, fall and maybe try a third time before resorting to crawling for a couple of hours before giving it another go. He looks so proud of himself when he walks that I can't help but to drop what I'm doing to cheer him on.
When I brought Oliver in to the doctor throughout his thirteenth and fourteenth months because of ear infections, she had pointed out that his top two teeth looked like they were starting to come in, but I wouldn't have otherwise noticed anything. Then at his 15-month wellness check-up, the doctor used a tongue depressor to get a better look and, finally, I could see that the teeth had just barely broken the gum line. Over 15 months and he's just working on teeth number three and four.
By Oliver's 12th month, he had ceased throwing food on the floor, seemingly overnight, but in the past two weeks he has started throwing his sippy cups on the floor. While this is just as frustrating as food throwing, I feel more prepared in how to react. If he throws either sippy cup on the floor, both are taken away and put out of sight. And I feel I have a better understanding of what an seemingly out-of-context behavior means - in this case it often means he simply wants out of his booster seat.
Meanwhile we're back to more mess with eating once I discovered that he could feed himself quite well with a spoon. Quite "well" for a 15-month-old of course. The first couple of spoonfuls often end up in the food catcher of his bib, but as he reaches the bottom of the bowl, he's forced to take smaller spoonfuls of food and then much of that actually makes it in his mouth. I've even seen him dip his spoon into the pocket of his bib to spoon out the leftovers that dropped from his spoon at the beginning of the meal.
I've probably gotten away longer than most baby-led weaning advocates with being able to eat in front of my kid without him begging for what I'm eating, but I'm quickly needing to become more strategic about when I indulge in something I don't want Oliver to have. I've long taken to eating a banana as a snack on the sly and out of sight of Oliver, but increasingly I need to wait until his nap to help myself to a cookie, because he reaches out for anything he sees in my hand or on my plate. I can placate him now with a teeny tiny bit of my snack, because it takes him awhile to chew anything, but I know that won't last long.
The intense separation anxiety that reemerged at 12 months - the kind that left Oliver wailing if I left the room - showed the slightest signs of possibly improving. I noticed that sometimes he was slower to start crying and then just cried instead of sobbed inconsolably. Once a day I might have even experienced a reaction out of my child that I'd only envied in other children, which was no reaction at all to my brief absence. Then Christmas arrived, and we traveled for part of the holidays, which made Oliver's days even more hectic and off-schedule and any gains I thought maybe I'd seen quickly vanished. Only time will tell if being back home and establishing our old routine will put Oliver back on track for growing out of this latest separation anxiety phase.
Even though I know deep down that separation anxiety is a normal part of early childhood, I couldn't help but ask the doctor about it at Oliver's 15-month wellness check-up. As I suspected, Oliver's behavior is in the range of "normal," especially in the context of his being able to play by himself, his connection to his caregivers (mom and dad), his interest in playing with other babies and his ability to calm down relatively easily after being left with other caregivers. Oliver's pediatrician acknowledged that the experience of your child crying every time you leave is sight is frustrating, but reminded me that I can and should take care of myself and Oliver won't suffer physiological damage from crying. It was like I had been given permission to leave Oliver by himself to play (or cry, as the case usually is) while I run down to the basement to switch the laundry, go to the bathroom or ferry something upstairs without also having to take him with me. The downside is that while we often talk about certain behaviors as being phases, he cautioned me that some kids deal with separation anxiety all through their early years.
The only other behavior that I wanted to ask about, more out of curiosity than anything, was why Oliver suddenly hates baths. He didn't like them as a young baby, but many babies don't and then finally around six months he really started to enjoy baths. That lasted barely six months and he's back to crying through them, which means we bathe him about once a week, if that. Which is fine, because babies don't need to be bathed very often, and I think the whole process is a pain. But they do need a bath at some point. I experimented with varying water temperatures and different times of day, hoping to catch him in the best mood. Finally I wondered if because it's winter, possibly Oliver is just cold. But the doctor responded that some kids, despite the absence of a traumatic experience, like a near-drowning, just develop a fear of the water. Again, just normal.
Everything else at Oliver's appointment checked out as "normal" as well. At 30 inches tall and just under 22 pounds, Oliver is sticking to the 20th and 10th percentiles, respectively, (with 50th percentile for head circumference) and while the doctor acknowledged that he's on the small side, (no surprise to either of us) he's making the appropriate gains and is following his growth trajectory perfectly - exactly what the doctor is looking for. And because Oliver is ever so quickly approaching two years, the point at which doctors says that a child's adult height will be double their height as a two-year-old, his pediatrician checked the growth chart to determine how tall Oliver will be in another nine months and then predicted that he'll be between 5'6" and 5'7" as an adult.
As at every appointment, the pediatrician asks me a list of questions to determine which developmental milestones Oliver has reached. He asked me if he's walking (almost!), whether he feeds himself (for months now), scribbles with Crayons (when he's not trying to eat them) or waves goodbye (we think so...or maybe it's just coincidence) and, finally, whether he's saying any words.
Well, just some version of "da da" and "mum mum," which we're actually wondering if he's saying "yum yum" since we noticed he also says that when he sees food, whether I'm around or not. The doctor followed up with an explanation that it's not unusual for them to not have much of a spoken vocabulary at all at this age, even if they're understanding a lot, and then sometime between 18 and 24 months seem like they're learning a new word a day. Oliver was sitting on the exam table occupying himself with the print-out I'm given at each check-up with a list of developmental milestones and reminders for the next three months, when the doctor suddenly looked up from his notes and said with excited surprise, "Did he just say, 'What's that?" Since I listen to Oliver's babble all day, his chatter doesn't always register with me, but when I looked over at him, he was pointing at a word on the paper and looking up at me expectantly. It sure looked like he had just asked me "What's that?" In the past three weeks, Oliver has started pointing at random objects, usually the window or the Christmas tree, and saying "Da!" which we translate to mean "that".
Oliver started taking his first steps just after his 14th month, but his attempts at walking were really sporadic. By Christmas he had been standing up consistently on his own without pulling himself up and his spurts of attempting to walk slowly increased. He set a personal record last week with 20 steps. He rounded the corner of the room and headed towards the door and I expected him to keep walking and never return to crawling, but then he stopped, let himself plop onto his bottom and continued on with his signature crawl.
His attempts at walking come in spurts throughout the day. He'll take a few steps, fall down, get up again, try to walk, fall and maybe try a third time before resorting to crawling for a couple of hours before giving it another go. He looks so proud of himself when he walks that I can't help but to drop what I'm doing to cheer him on.
When I brought Oliver in to the doctor throughout his thirteenth and fourteenth months because of ear infections, she had pointed out that his top two teeth looked like they were starting to come in, but I wouldn't have otherwise noticed anything. Then at his 15-month wellness check-up, the doctor used a tongue depressor to get a better look and, finally, I could see that the teeth had just barely broken the gum line. Over 15 months and he's just working on teeth number three and four.
By Oliver's 12th month, he had ceased throwing food on the floor, seemingly overnight, but in the past two weeks he has started throwing his sippy cups on the floor. While this is just as frustrating as food throwing, I feel more prepared in how to react. If he throws either sippy cup on the floor, both are taken away and put out of sight. And I feel I have a better understanding of what an seemingly out-of-context behavior means - in this case it often means he simply wants out of his booster seat.
Meanwhile we're back to more mess with eating once I discovered that he could feed himself quite well with a spoon. Quite "well" for a 15-month-old of course. The first couple of spoonfuls often end up in the food catcher of his bib, but as he reaches the bottom of the bowl, he's forced to take smaller spoonfuls of food and then much of that actually makes it in his mouth. I've even seen him dip his spoon into the pocket of his bib to spoon out the leftovers that dropped from his spoon at the beginning of the meal.
I've probably gotten away longer than most baby-led weaning advocates with being able to eat in front of my kid without him begging for what I'm eating, but I'm quickly needing to become more strategic about when I indulge in something I don't want Oliver to have. I've long taken to eating a banana as a snack on the sly and out of sight of Oliver, but increasingly I need to wait until his nap to help myself to a cookie, because he reaches out for anything he sees in my hand or on my plate. I can placate him now with a teeny tiny bit of my snack, because it takes him awhile to chew anything, but I know that won't last long.
The intense separation anxiety that reemerged at 12 months - the kind that left Oliver wailing if I left the room - showed the slightest signs of possibly improving. I noticed that sometimes he was slower to start crying and then just cried instead of sobbed inconsolably. Once a day I might have even experienced a reaction out of my child that I'd only envied in other children, which was no reaction at all to my brief absence. Then Christmas arrived, and we traveled for part of the holidays, which made Oliver's days even more hectic and off-schedule and any gains I thought maybe I'd seen quickly vanished. Only time will tell if being back home and establishing our old routine will put Oliver back on track for growing out of this latest separation anxiety phase.
Even though I know deep down that separation anxiety is a normal part of early childhood, I couldn't help but ask the doctor about it at Oliver's 15-month wellness check-up. As I suspected, Oliver's behavior is in the range of "normal," especially in the context of his being able to play by himself, his connection to his caregivers (mom and dad), his interest in playing with other babies and his ability to calm down relatively easily after being left with other caregivers. Oliver's pediatrician acknowledged that the experience of your child crying every time you leave is sight is frustrating, but reminded me that I can and should take care of myself and Oliver won't suffer physiological damage from crying. It was like I had been given permission to leave Oliver by himself to play (or cry, as the case usually is) while I run down to the basement to switch the laundry, go to the bathroom or ferry something upstairs without also having to take him with me. The downside is that while we often talk about certain behaviors as being phases, he cautioned me that some kids deal with separation anxiety all through their early years.
The only other behavior that I wanted to ask about, more out of curiosity than anything, was why Oliver suddenly hates baths. He didn't like them as a young baby, but many babies don't and then finally around six months he really started to enjoy baths. That lasted barely six months and he's back to crying through them, which means we bathe him about once a week, if that. Which is fine, because babies don't need to be bathed very often, and I think the whole process is a pain. But they do need a bath at some point. I experimented with varying water temperatures and different times of day, hoping to catch him in the best mood. Finally I wondered if because it's winter, possibly Oliver is just cold. But the doctor responded that some kids, despite the absence of a traumatic experience, like a near-drowning, just develop a fear of the water. Again, just normal.
Everything else at Oliver's appointment checked out as "normal" as well. At 30 inches tall and just under 22 pounds, Oliver is sticking to the 20th and 10th percentiles, respectively, (with 50th percentile for head circumference) and while the doctor acknowledged that he's on the small side, (no surprise to either of us) he's making the appropriate gains and is following his growth trajectory perfectly - exactly what the doctor is looking for. And because Oliver is ever so quickly approaching two years, the point at which doctors says that a child's adult height will be double their height as a two-year-old, his pediatrician checked the growth chart to determine how tall Oliver will be in another nine months and then predicted that he'll be between 5'6" and 5'7" as an adult.
As at every appointment, the pediatrician asks me a list of questions to determine which developmental milestones Oliver has reached. He asked me if he's walking (almost!), whether he feeds himself (for months now), scribbles with Crayons (when he's not trying to eat them) or waves goodbye (we think so...or maybe it's just coincidence) and, finally, whether he's saying any words.
Well, just some version of "da da" and "mum mum," which we're actually wondering if he's saying "yum yum" since we noticed he also says that when he sees food, whether I'm around or not. The doctor followed up with an explanation that it's not unusual for them to not have much of a spoken vocabulary at all at this age, even if they're understanding a lot, and then sometime between 18 and 24 months seem like they're learning a new word a day. Oliver was sitting on the exam table occupying himself with the print-out I'm given at each check-up with a list of developmental milestones and reminders for the next three months, when the doctor suddenly looked up from his notes and said with excited surprise, "Did he just say, 'What's that?" Since I listen to Oliver's babble all day, his chatter doesn't always register with me, but when I looked over at him, he was pointing at a word on the paper and looking up at me expectantly. It sure looked like he had just asked me "What's that?" In the past three weeks, Oliver has started pointing at random objects, usually the window or the Christmas tree, and saying "Da!" which we translate to mean "that".
Christmas, Part Two
Delta never did answer their phones, so I religiously logged onto their website with my travel itinerary confirmation number in hand and discovered that I had been automatically rebooked on an afternoon flight on Tuesday, December 28 via Memphis and getting in after 11:00 p.m. into Philadelphia. Having a connection and arriving so late wasn't ideal, but it was doable, even with a 15-month-old, and I didn't think I had any other option. So after being able to relax much of Monday, I started packing after Oliver went to bed and made arrangements to take a cab to the airport the next day. At 11:10 p.m. we finally touched down in Philadelphia. Chris joined us two days later, as scheduled.
Whenever I go on vacation or visit people I haven't seen in awhile, I have grand plans of what I'm going to do with my time away. Despite having an extra two days to relax at home in St. Paul, I arrived with a bad cold and feeling completely wiped. Nights were late, whether due to picking up Chris late at the airport or celebrating New Year's Eve, mornings were early because of Oliver, and my time during the day was devoted to spending with family for the little time I was going to be in New Jersey. I couldn't catch up on sleep even if I tried. So some of best-intentioned plans, like taking advantage of free admission to the Philadelphia's Please Touch Museum using our Minnesota Children's Museum membership, were side-lined in favor of hanging out closer to home, taking walks in town and going to the local library (where Oliver was more interested in spinning the DVD carousel and ripping magazines off the shelves than he was in reading books).
Despite fighting exhaustion and not doing everything I wanted to do, I enjoyed what we were able to do, like spending a day at my new step sister's, where Oliver got to hang with his older cousins, visiting my grandmother, who marveled at anything Oliver did and hosting New Year's Eve dinner with my brother for a group of friends. Although our delayed arrival meant we missed seeing my uncle, we managed to make up time with everyone else and, most importantly, they all got to spend time with Oliver.
And despite the hours spent in an airplane, delayed bedtimes, missed naps, napping in different locations and whatever else we subjected Oliver to, he handled it all as well as you could ask of a 15-month-old. Letting him sleep became my top priority and I tried mitigating the stress with an uncharacteristically liberal use of a pacifier and lots of snacks. When well-fed and well-rested, Oliver adapted to our ever-changing schedule and new people.
We're back in Minnesota now, still unpacking and readjusting to our old schedules. I can hardly believe it's January and Christmas is really past. Eventually we'll get the tree down and Christmas decorations put away. Maybe I'll finally have a chance to take a breather and reflect on the memories of the whirlwind 2010 holiday season.
Whenever I go on vacation or visit people I haven't seen in awhile, I have grand plans of what I'm going to do with my time away. Despite having an extra two days to relax at home in St. Paul, I arrived with a bad cold and feeling completely wiped. Nights were late, whether due to picking up Chris late at the airport or celebrating New Year's Eve, mornings were early because of Oliver, and my time during the day was devoted to spending with family for the little time I was going to be in New Jersey. I couldn't catch up on sleep even if I tried. So some of best-intentioned plans, like taking advantage of free admission to the Philadelphia's Please Touch Museum using our Minnesota Children's Museum membership, were side-lined in favor of hanging out closer to home, taking walks in town and going to the local library (where Oliver was more interested in spinning the DVD carousel and ripping magazines off the shelves than he was in reading books).
Despite fighting exhaustion and not doing everything I wanted to do, I enjoyed what we were able to do, like spending a day at my new step sister's, where Oliver got to hang with his older cousins, visiting my grandmother, who marveled at anything Oliver did and hosting New Year's Eve dinner with my brother for a group of friends. Although our delayed arrival meant we missed seeing my uncle, we managed to make up time with everyone else and, most importantly, they all got to spend time with Oliver.
And despite the hours spent in an airplane, delayed bedtimes, missed naps, napping in different locations and whatever else we subjected Oliver to, he handled it all as well as you could ask of a 15-month-old. Letting him sleep became my top priority and I tried mitigating the stress with an uncharacteristically liberal use of a pacifier and lots of snacks. When well-fed and well-rested, Oliver adapted to our ever-changing schedule and new people.
We're back in Minnesota now, still unpacking and readjusting to our old schedules. I can hardly believe it's January and Christmas is really past. Eventually we'll get the tree down and Christmas decorations put away. Maybe I'll finally have a chance to take a breather and reflect on the memories of the whirlwind 2010 holiday season.
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