Oliver update: 9 months

Oliver continues to be a happy, healthy little baby. And in the 10th percentile for height, he's still little. Yet I'm surprised by how many people say he looks big for a nine-month old. Maybe in comparison to the mommy who's holding him. I don't know what babies they've been hanging around with lately. Surely, not our friend's baby who outgrew his infant car seat in both height and weight limits by six months.

Ever since Oliver's nine-month wellness check, my worries about his inability to crawl have been put to rest. Instead, I'm actually enjoying being able to set him down somewhere and know that he won't move from that spot, well, for the most part. He uses his legs to rotate on his bottom and if the floor is smooth enough, can scootch himself forward a few inches. He won't go from a sitting position to his tummy or back (unless he falls into that position and then usually cries), but if you set him down horizontally, he can roll very well now, so come back into the room and you could find him on the other side of the room with his hands reaching for the bookcase or the wine rack. We've been lackadaisically baby proofing, but at least Oliver is pointing out to us the areas we'll have to address.

Like most babies, Oliver has had separation anxiety, but his occurred so early on that I remember asking the doctor about it at his four-month wellness check. After a lot of support and practical tips from the women in my moms group, I feel like we've made some progress. Over the past two weeks I've left him for three-hour stretches with friends from my babysitting coop or Grandma and he did remarkably well. His tears were short-lived and I'd say he even had fun.

We've hit some challenges with solid foods. I set out to raise a non-picky eater and yet Oliver could happily subsist off of toast, pizza, pears and peaches. He used to gobble up half an adult-serving of oatmeal, slurp zucchini or summer squash slices to shreds and grab at toast slices no matter what topping was on it. He's throwing a lot of food on the floor and if he doesn't recognize something, he'll reach for it and immediately throw it on the floor with no intention of even tasting it. Since he's eating more with us now, we'll give him portions of what we eat - the spirit of baby-lead weaning (BLW) - but if he refuses to eat any of it, I waffle over whether I should pop a slice of bread in the toaster and give him something I know he'll eat. Even my BLW mentor has experienced some "food fight" phases in her son, but by talking to her, we've come up with some strategies I hope will help. I just keep reminding myself that he doesn't need nutrients from anything but formula or breastmilk for the first year, so he'll be fine.

Despite my fears that Oliver will never learn table manners or will become a picky eater, (or Chris's fear that he's going to associate mealtime with getting naked since we strip him down to his diaper to cut down on the laundry) Oliver still impresses everyone else who watches him eat. Oliver's face can be smeared with a mish-mash of food and I'll be fretting about the mess he's making in a restaurant or all over my friend's dining room floor, and yet they marvel at how well he can pick up food, bring it to his mouth and chew. They can't believe how well a nine-month-old does that. At least at our last meal at a friend's house two Labrador Retrievers were on hand to clean up after Oliver.

We've made some adjustments to Oliver's sleep schedule in the last month. I don't know if it's Oliver's maturation, or that of his parents, but he's been sleeping better and I've been more relaxed about whether he's getting enough sleep and when he's getting it. After the Sleep Talk discussion I hosted at my house for members of my moms group, when I gained yet more insight into the sleep needs of babies, I felt comfortable shifting Oliver from three naps to two naps a day. I had begun to believe that Oliver was getting too much sleep, and wasn't any more rested because of it. He continues to go down for his first nap shortly after he gets up in the morning, usually around 7:30 a.m., maybe 8 a.m., but takes his only other nap for the day between 12:00 - 1:00 p.m., with each nap around 1 and a half hours. For two or three weeks, we had to put him to bed around 5:30 p.m., but unless he's sick or didn't nap well during the day, he's back to his 6:30 p.m. bedtime.

His new schedule has opened up new opportunities for me, but also forced adjustment on my part. Now I can go places with him in the morning and through lunch, whereas before, except for a well-timed walk or quick trip to the grocery store, I couldn't go anywhere, because most of his morning was devoted to naps. Later in the afternoon has also opened up, as I don't have to worry about a 4:00 p.m. meltdown signaling his third nap. But early afternoon playdates, my time with other adults, are nearly impossible now. And when Oliver is awake, he commands your attention and well, he's awake more now. While I feel there's more order and sanity to my day, it's also gotten busier.