Kiera, Matteo, Oliver and Soren

Kiera, Matteo, Oliver and Soren

Friday, February 27, 2009

Did we jump the gun?

As Chris and I lay in bed last Sunday at the culmination of an exciting and emotional weekend, a bit of panic set in. Had we told everyone too early? Everything we'd read said couples should wait until after the first trimester, after which the chances of a miscarriage go down significantly. My first and only ultrasound so far was performed so early (simply to try to establish how far along I was so subsequent appointments could be planned) that the technician was having trouble finding a heartbeat and measuring the fetus. Despite what little she had to work with, everything looked good, and Chris and I decided we couldn't keep the good news from our families. We were concerned only that they would find out first and after that, we were happy to let everyone spread the news. A few mass e-mails and Facebook posts later, the news had spread like wildfire and Chris was wondering if things had gotten out of control. What if something goes wrong, he wondered? Would our grief of losing the baby be multiplied by the number of people we had told? Did we do a disservice to our parents by telling them the news before we were actually in the clear?

Honestly, even if we had waited to tell people, I would still be nervous. I'm a worrier by nature, (I get this from my paternal grandmother - must be genetic...) and I won't believe everything is okay until I actually give birth to a healthy baby. By then, though, I'll be on to new worries. But as for the decision Chris and I made, I reason that if something were to go wrong, I'd need the support of friends and family. I think it would be a lot easier for them to understand my grief of losing the baby better had they already witnessed my excitement of being pregnant. And despite my worries, I try to remind myself that I'm (relatively) young and healthy and my chances of delivering a healthy full-term baby are good.

After all the excitement of the last week, Chris and I have retreated a little and are allowing the reality that our lives are about to change dramatically sink in. We've resisted the urge to send out any mass announcements of my impending due date and will let the news spread slowly by letting friends know as we happen to talk to them. Our excitement is still there and we banter back and forth with name ideas or joke about me finally having an excuse not to water ski this summer at the cabin. October 14 still seems very far away though, and we haven't even begun to think about preparing the baby's room, or buying cribs, strollers and car seats. For the time-being, we're both very busy at work and our normal routines, and while the talk of a baby enters our conversations every day, it's still a part of our lives that hasn't yet jumped to the forefront. We look forward to eventually having more news to share as doctors appointments become more frequent and preparing for the baby becomes a more urgent task.

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