Did we jump the gun?

As Chris and I lay in bed last Sunday at the culmination of an exciting and emotional weekend, a bit of panic set in. Had we told everyone too early? Everything we'd read said couples should wait until after the first trimester, after which the chances of a miscarriage go down significantly. My first and only ultrasound so far was performed so early (simply to try to establish how far along I was so subsequent appointments could be planned) that the technician was having trouble finding a heartbeat and measuring the fetus. Despite what little she had to work with, everything looked good, and Chris and I decided we couldn't keep the good news from our families. We were concerned only that they would find out first and after that, we were happy to let everyone spread the news. A few mass e-mails and Facebook posts later, the news had spread like wildfire and Chris was wondering if things had gotten out of control. What if something goes wrong, he wondered? Would our grief of losing the baby be multiplied by the number of people we had told? Did we do a disservice to our parents by telling them the news before we were actually in the clear?

Honestly, even if we had waited to tell people, I would still be nervous. I'm a worrier by nature, (I get this from my paternal grandmother - must be genetic...) and I won't believe everything is okay until I actually give birth to a healthy baby. By then, though, I'll be on to new worries. But as for the decision Chris and I made, I reason that if something were to go wrong, I'd need the support of friends and family. I think it would be a lot easier for them to understand my grief of losing the baby better had they already witnessed my excitement of being pregnant. And despite my worries, I try to remind myself that I'm (relatively) young and healthy and my chances of delivering a healthy full-term baby are good.

After all the excitement of the last week, Chris and I have retreated a little and are allowing the reality that our lives are about to change dramatically sink in. We've resisted the urge to send out any mass announcements of my impending due date and will let the news spread slowly by letting friends know as we happen to talk to them. Our excitement is still there and we banter back and forth with name ideas or joke about me finally having an excuse not to water ski this summer at the cabin. October 14 still seems very far away though, and we haven't even begun to think about preparing the baby's room, or buying cribs, strollers and car seats. For the time-being, we're both very busy at work and our normal routines, and while the talk of a baby enters our conversations every day, it's still a part of our lives that hasn't yet jumped to the forefront. We look forward to eventually having more news to share as doctors appointments become more frequent and preparing for the baby becomes a more urgent task.

Pregtastic

I came home last night and found Chris lying on the couch with his laptop and listening to a podcast on Pregtastic: http://www.pregtastic.com/ The scene from Knocked Up when Alison was astonished that Ben had read the baby books flashed through my head. I haven't actually been nagging Chris yet about reading anything, but Chris jokes that after giving me an iPod for Christmas, he's been getting podcast homework assignments. I have gotten addicted to podcasts, and after finding out I was pregnant, I stumbled upon Pregtastic on iTunes. Suddenly time spent on the elipitical at the gym has become not only bearable, but productive as I'm getting exercise and receiving a crash course in everything there is to know about pregnancy. The shows begin with an update from a volunteer panel of women about how their pregnancies are going and then includes guest speakers on a variety of topics, like eating healthfully during your pregnancy, elective c-sections, and a dad who filmed a documentary called Being Dad. (The podcast Chris was listening to.) I find the women's stories (sometimes dads-to-be contribute too) comforting, because it's true that everyone's experience is so different. And they're all learning as they go too. If the show weren't produced in San Diego, I would have signed myself up to try to actually be on the show.

We're expecting!

Chris and I found out fairly recently that we're expecting a baby. My brother Scott, who has written blogs to document various adventures in his life, suggested I keep a blog. I didn't know at first if and how much I wanted to share with a public venue like a blog, but I realized that aside from mass e-mails, a blog is the easiest way to share updates and my thoughts with family and friends. For those who only care about when the baby is born - I will send out the mass e-mail with that news - but for the rest of you, I hope you enjoy reading the blog. I will try to keep posts friendly for all audiences and will spare you the intimate details.

The name of the blog was inspired by the idea that Chris and I starting the next generation in our families. His father, Dan, is one of seven and his parents are already great-grandparents a couple of times over. However, Chris's maternal grandmother, Bea, has been knitting baby booties and bonnets for years in anticipation of great-grandchildren. Chris is the first of Bea's six grandchildren to announce he's now having a child of his own. After raising Chris and his brother, Andy, I suspect that Chris's parents are as ready and excited to finally transition to role of grandparents as Chris and I are ready to transition to becoming parents.

My side of the family, meanwhile, desperately needs rejuvenation. My parents were married nine years before I was born - my grandmother had nearly lost hope that she'd see grandchildren - and with my brother's arrived two and a half years later, the two of us would remain the only grandchildren for both sets of grandparents. Both my paternal grandparents were only children, and my dad's only sibling, my Uncle Gary, is divorced with no children. Added to that is my mom being an only child and you can begin to understand that my brother and I had no first cousins and are part of a family tree that seemed like it could eventually peter out if a new generation doesn't come soon.

For those of you who made it through the family history section, you're probably still concerned with the big question, "When is the baby due?" The extremely guesstimated date is October 14, 2009. We may get an updated due date when I go in for my nine-week ultrasound on St. Patrick's Day. However, even if the due date changes, it will still fall sometime in October, a time of year I love. I also quickly realized that there are advantages to giving birth before winter sets in in Minnesota. Dealing with winter can be challenging when you're not eight months pregnant, and I'm relieved I won't be pregnant and trying to shovel out my car or take a walk on icy sidewalks.

I may be disappointing some of you (or maybe not!) when I say I don't want to know the sex of the baby. Chris isn't on board yet with the idea of keeping it a surprise, but I'm very comfortable without not knowing. I realize I'm probably in the minority. I only know two couples who didn't want to find out the sex of their baby. When it's so easy to find out, then why not? I actually thinks it takes some of the fun out of it to find out beforehand.

We're also going to keep the name a surprise until the baby is born. Again, I think it's more fun to keep it a surprise, but we're also doing this to protect our choice. Before the baby is born, people are apt to tell you why your choice in a name isn't a good idea, but most people choose to keep their mouths shut once the baby is born.