Boys Have Penises and Girls Have Vulvas

Only among my friends, it seems, will a parenting discussion lead to the question of whether we should teach our kids the word vulva or vagina for the female genitalia. All of us are on the same page in believing that it's important to use anatomically-correct terms for body parts, yet the vagina vs. vulva debate continues to throw us.  Do we get over our irrational uneasiness with the word "vulva" and teach them the truly anatomically-correct word, or do we go with the universally-accepted "vagina"?

Only two people in the group had discussed with their husbands whether they should teach vulva instead of vagina.  One of the husbands said he just couldn't say it, so his wife has reluctantly gone with vagina.  The other friend's husband is comfortable with the term, and it's actually my friend, who, even though she had broached the subject with him, thought the word sounded "dirty".  In an attempt to normalize the word on behalf of her daughter, she decided that if she just kept using vulva, it would eventually sounded normal to her too.  As the mom of sons, I have the opportunity to say the word penis a lot, and I'll admit that's taking practice to say with the same neutral tone as I would say of any other body part. 

As for the rest of us, most have gone with vagina.  If the adults in my house can't say vulva without turning red, vagina is the next best option for the time-being. 

Although our discomfort over one simple, perfectly-acceptable word surprised us, I applaud my friends and myself for even being that honest with our kids.  I've already heard a lot of ridiculous names for the genitalia.  On the cusp of three years old, our kids are already questioning what body parts are called or why some people have certain ones and others don't.  This is just the beginning of some really uncomfortable questions.  So I say, whether you opt for the word vulva or vagina, pick on and move on.