Soren is Five!

Soren has the last of the fall birthdays for the boys in our family and left his four-year-old "triplet" siblings behind by turning five. After watching his brothers and dad get attention, gifts and cake on their birthdays, it was finally his turn. He was so excited that he made his own birthday crown. 

Although Soren is five and headed to kindergarten next year, there's still so much little boy in him that makes my heart melt. We've never been co-sleepers, but one night Soren climbed into our bed for no reason and it was so comforting to roll over and feel him sleeping soundly next to me. He's an awesome cuddler! I could snuggle him all night (but am still thankful we upgraded to a king-size bed when we came home with Kiera and Matteo). He has a cute lisp and like a lot of kids his age, can't say the "r" sound, so "real" sounds like "weal". Sometimes the "l" sound is challenging, so Oliver sounds more like "Owiver".  And even though he's capable of getting himself dressed, he still wants me to dress him in the morning. He couldn't articulate why he wants me to do that, but when I suggested that perhaps it  made him feel loved and cared for, he solemnly nodded his head yes.

Pre-kindergarten is growing on Soren. He seemed lukewarm about the idea at first, but more and more, he reports that school was the best. Perhaps he needed to get used to the "rigor" that is Pre-K. Nina recounted the afternoon he came home from what must have been an exhausting day for him because he heaved a big sigh as he hung up his book bag and jacket. He turned to Nina and announced that Pre-K was so hard; it was like going to work. He wasn't trying to exaggerate or being whiny. In his mind it was the honest truth.

The good news is that all that hard work means Soren will be more than ready for kindergarten and to join his brother at the German school next year. He knows most of his letters and can count to at least 10. He loves being read to, but now that he's been listening to the chapter books we read to Oliver, he's at the point where he can follow along and is as interested as Oliver is. Oliver checks out a book in German each week at his school's library and although Soren doesn't understand German yet, he still listens intently when Nina or I read aloud in German.   

Like his once-fearful siblings, Soren pretty much gotten over his fear of dogs. Hurrah! Watson can still be a little much for him, but he's fine with Lulu, our neighbor's 90-pound Labradoodle.  He surprised us by asking if he could invite Ernie, a friend's elderly Beagle, to his birthday party.

It's convenient for Soren that he's not so afraid of dogs anymore because he enjoys playing with Paloma, whose dog is that previously mentioned large Labradoodle. Every afternoon he and Oliver beg us to let them go next door and ask if Paloma can play. Legos are still their main obsession, but Paloma also introduced them to Star Wars. 

Soren is currently wearing 4T pants and just moved into 5T shirts when the weather turned colder. For the time-being he has his wardrobe to himself, but by this winter when Matteo is predicted to outgrow his 3T pants, Soren will have to part with half his wardrobe. 

Matteo is Four!

Matteo had a special birthday buddy to celebrate with this year. Our au pair, Nina, turned 21 on the same day Matteo turned four. Nina was kind enough to let Matteo pick what we would have for dinner on their big day and they also graciously shared a birthday cake. After dinner and presents, Matteo hit the sack, while Nina made the most of her 21st birthday falling on a Friday and went out to the Wild Onion with friends.

Matteo is still winning hearts with his rosy-cheeked smile, stylish glasses and Pillsbury dough boy laugh. He's so ticklish and it's easy to get him going with a few pokes to his belly. No matter how hard he's laughing, he always wants to come back for more. 

Even though Matteo is the youngest, he's the most empathetic of our children, and overall wise beyond his years at the tender age of four. One afternoon the kids were building Legos when Soren stole Kiera's chair, which caused her to scream and cry as she unsuccessfully tried pulling the chair back out from underneath Soren. Matteo assessed the situation and then pulled a chair from the other side of the room over to where Kiera was standing, tapped her to get her attention, and then very enthusiastically patted the seat to encourage her to sit down.  

Matteo likes everything to be in order and have its place. When Matteo was up at the cabin with his dad and brother, he disappeared into the bedroom they were all sharing. When Chris checked on him, he found Matteo had lined up all the water bottles and snack cups neatly on the nightstand and he was in the process of making the beds. Chris said  he was working so hard he was sweating!

Speaking of the cabin, Matteo loved being up there this summer. Anytime Chris took the kids to the cabin, Matteo and his siblings were giddy with excitement anticipating the opportunity to pack their bags and load up the minivan. Matteo loved spending time on the boat, tubing, roasting marshmellows, having sleepovers with his brothers, pedaling the paddle boat, fishing with his Ironman fishing rod...and well, everything about the cabin and being Up North.  

Being the youngest, Matteo uses a lot of energy to keep up with the rest of the family. He also doesn't nap anymore, except for catnaps in the car. This probably explains why he often falls asleep within seconds of kissing him goodnight and is the last to wake up. Kiera is not the most considerate roommate and often turns on the lights or just causes a ruckus while Matteo is sleeping, but amazingly, he doesn't wake up. 

At four years old, Matteo is approximately 39 inches tall and 33 pounds. He has been in 3T bottoms for awhile, but with the change in the weather, we moved him up to 4T pants. His speech is still very unintelligible, but we're hearing a little bit of progress. As always, everyone says what a joy it is to work with him.

Matteo is so brave when it comes to medical appointments. Granted, this is a kid who's used to having people look in his mouth, but the dentist was still surprised at how compliant a child of Matteo's age was when having x-rays taken. He finished has last cleaning with no tears, happily picked out a toothbrush and stickers, walked out the door of the waiting room and then ran smack into a wall. And that's when he burst into tears. 

My faithful readers who have long known about Matteo's intense fear of dogs will be surprised to read that Matteo is not only no longer afraid of dogs, he now LOVES dogs. Our former au pair spent a lot of time with Matteo (as well as Kiera and Soren) "puppy-training" him by having him spend time with the Great Pyrenees puppy her au pair friend's host family had gotten. Even as he slowly got used to Gustav, his aunt and uncle's large and hyper-active Golden Doodle, Watson, was a little too much for him. And then seemingly overnight, Matteo not just tolerated dogs, he sought them out. Watson spent some weekends at the cabin and when the others grew bored with petting the dog, Matteo made sure he continued to get some attention. He loves throwing the ball to him and doesn't even flinch as Watson tries to grab the ball out of Matteo's hand before he gets a chance to throw it. 

Matteo loves his family. He adores his brothers, is an awesome brother and partner-in-crime to Kiera and lives to be his daddy's little sidekick, whether it's fixing something around the house or making a Home Depot run. And at the of the day, he wants his mommy to put him to bed and kiss him goodnight.

Oliver is Seven!

The boy who made me a mother turned seven. When I snuggle with him at bedtime, I tease him about how I once was able to bath him in the bathroom sink. And now he's an artistically-talented, intelligent, social, Lego and Star Wars-loving little boy.

Oliver devours chapter books...as fast as we can read them to him. He's read every book in the Clementine series, is waiting for the upcoming release of a new Diary of a Wimpy Kid book and he just discovered Geronimo Stilton, which he received as a birthday present.  Oliver hasn't learned to read yet and I keep having to take deep breaths and remind myself that students in immersion programs read later and when they do, they can read in both languages. More importantly, he loves books and he loves being read to, something I hope continues even after he can read to himself.

At least the reading balances out the Minecraft.  I only vaguely knew what Minecraft was (I could tell you a video game, but nothing more) and didn't think Oliver knew anything about it, so I was taken aback when Chris returned from a trip to the cabin with the boys with a new Playstation and Minecraft.  It doesn't matter if Oliver had been unfamiliar with Minecraft or not, because he's obsessed with it now. There's part of me that admittedly enjoys a bit of piece and quiet when he disappears to the basement to play, but when I have to cut him off, oh my oh my.  He's a textbook example of the addicting qualities of screen time.

And oh my gosh, the Legos. That's another obsession of his, but one I consider much healthier, at least for his development.  It's not necessarily healthier for my sanity. I'm engaged in a never-ending battle to contain the Legos.  I can't vacuum without doing a detailed survey of the floor and when I try to clear out what look like piles of partially-built, unidentifiable creations from Oliver's room, I'm met with cries of "That's my [term I've never heard of and probably comes from Start Wars]!"

As happens every fall, I push Oliver into the next size of clothing even though they're a tad too big for him.  Last week I swapped out his 5T shorts and size 6 t-shirts for size 6 pants and size 7 long-sleeve shirts.  He's short and skinny, so his shirts hang a little long on him and we have to cinch the elastic bands on the inside of his jeans as tight as they can go.

Oliver continues to flash a smile full of baby teeth. I think he's starting to wish he would lose some teeth like all his friends.  I know it will happen soon enough though. Until then, he's my big boy with a smile full of baby teeth.

We signed Oliver up for a parks and rec league soccer program because he enjoyed playing during recess at school last year and we wanted to have him in an outdoor activity before starting on indoor activities for the winter. Not surprisingly, it took him awhile to warm up to it and even while he eventually had fun, he never loved it. Because of his birthday, he was in a group with older kids and he didn't know any of them. He's an active kid, but I think he likes to enjoy activities on his own terms.

An activity Oliver is loving more and more, despite his humble beginnings, is swimming. He is so much more comfortable in the water and takes every opportunity to go swimming. Even though his last formal lesson was this past spring, he has since learned to swim short distances. He can also now jump in the water, even if it's well over his head, like when he jumps off the dock or the back of the boat into the lake (with his life jacket on of course). For a kid who was once terrified of getting his face wet, (and who still isn't thrilled about having to wash his hair) this is a huge!

Oliver  got up on water skis for the first time this summer, although he still needs to develop more balance and strength before he'll be able to cover any sort of distance. Chris was Oliver's age when he first learned to ski, so this milestone made him one proud dad.

And he's (just about) up!

The picky eating and power struggles over food continue with Oliver.  Intellectually, I know not to engage in power struggles with my children, but it's hard not to when your child truly enjoys so few foods and there's little room for compromise. Dinnertime with four little ones is admittedly not often a very enjoyable experience at our house, but I do take comfort in the fact that we still eat dinner together most nights of the week and hopefully that's the memory that prevails.

These dinnertime power struggles are a few of many examples of the little disappointments or problems that can send Oliver into a spiral of emotions and negative talk. My psychologist friend calls them "automatic negative thoughts." It's hard as a parent to watch my child melt down over something so trivial and talk negatively because even though I know he'll eventually calm down and be back to his happy-go-lucky self, in the moment, he really feels those feelings.

I'm believe strongly that children (and adults!) need proper sleep at night and that children need more hours of sleep than we think. We've always had early bedtimes for our children because they, especially Oliver, need it. As a young child, Oliver was not the kid who could skip a nap or stay up past his bedtime because he melted down. Although I still think his bedtime needs to be 7:00 p.m., it's so difficult to eat dinner at 5:30 p.m. and still have enough time for the kids to wind down, go through the bedtime routine and be in bed an hour and a half later. On the rare nights we achieve that, Oliver still has trouble falling asleep. 

37th Birthday

Some years I'm not interested in celebrating my birthday and then this year, I thought, what the heck, I'm going to roll with it if folks want to make a big deal out of turning 37.

My day started with four little ones wanting to make a REALLY big deal about their mom's birthday. They had no idea how old I was turning, but they sure were excited to show me the HUGE birthday card they had made for me.

I immediately knew that the green prints were Matteo's!

I had seen evidence the day before that the kids had been painting, (the evidence included green paint matted in Matteo's hair) but I assumed they had just decided to raid our art supplies and have some fun.  I had no idea that Celina had helped the kids make hand prints in the shape of a big heart on a homemade birthday card. 

The card wasn't the only surprise.  Celina had a gift for me - my very own selfie stick!  I'm still not certain whether her gift was in seriousness or in jest, but either way, she knows I love to take pictures and I complain I'm rarely in any of them. I've always made fun of my au pair's generation for being obsesses with selfies, but looks like they got the last laugh. 

 St. Paul has a fun little ice skating rink right downtown and I managed to talk some co-workers into a lunchtime skate. 

I capped off my birthday by going out with friends. I wasn't sure what kind of turnout to expect on a snowy, Wednesday night right after the holidays, but it was a nice surprise to see so many friends make it out.  The highlights of the evening included finding out that a good friend of mine is going to be a dad, and being able to celebrate with two others with the same birthday, my good friend Joanna and my sister-in-law, Danielle.  

Birthday triplets!

Since Chris was out of town on my business on my birthday, he took me out for dinner in Minneapolis over the weekend. We left early so we could take a walk around Lake of the Isles, one of my favorite lakes in Minneapolis, and this is where we failed as Minnesotans.  We didn't dress warmly enough!  The air temperature was -1 with a windchill of -9 and when I saw people walking in snow pants, face masks and ski goggles, I knew we were under-dressed. We tried anyway, walked for 10 minutes and gave up.  The ironic part of being out on such a cold day is that the ice rink on the lake and warming house were shut down due to insufficient ice.  We've had a near record-breaking warm winter until now and our lakes have only recently frozen over.  Too cold to walk and no opportunity to ice skate, we retreated to our car and headed instead to dinner where we enjoyed a four-course meal that was, get this, uninterrupted.  That in itself was a wonderful, wonderful birthday gift.

Happy 3rd Birthday to Soren!

My little guy is three. Soren still has the sweetness of a baby, but the budding, stubborn independence so typical for kids his age.  Shrieks of "I do it!" are heard more often at our house and a simple task like throwing a used diaper in the trash can turn into hysterics if he wants to do it and isn't allowed to.  I've always said he's my easy-going child, but I think three is going to be the year he challenges that!

Just like Oliver did at this age, Soren is starting that slow, frustrating process towards dropping naps all together.  Whether he naps at all and for how long have been hit or miss, but at least we have noticed a pattern.  If there's else going on during nap time, he'd rather be doing that instead of napping.  Therefore, he usually naps the afternoons Oliver has preschool.  But again, this is a slow process, so the lack of sleep eventually catches up with him and he wants to nap no matter what else is going on.  Whether he naps or not, he has difficulty falling asleep at night, which has been challenging on Chris and me who look forward to our peace and quiet once the kids have gone to bed!

What Soren shows no progress towards is potty-training.  He seemed very interested in it months ago and even insisted on going to daycare with no diapers a couple of times.  We've never even used a potty chair with him and instead managed to get him used to sitting on the toilet.  Although he knows how to use the toilet, it's clear he hasn't learned to recognize when he has to go.  So we stepped back from toilet-training and are letting Soren more self-awareness before giving it another try.  

Soren loves preschool.  Thank goodness, because he always wanted to hang out in Oliver's classroom at drop-off and was so proud when he got his first book bag, but with all the transitions the last year, I wasn't sure he was going to change his mind about this whole preschool thing.  Drop-offs were a little rough the first few weeks, but nothing out of the ordinary for a barely-three-year-old.  He only has four other kids in his class and typical for his age, he names his teacher as his favorite friend at school.

It's strange to have a blond child, well dirty-blond really, but given no one in my family has anything close to blond hair, his looks very blond to me.  And friends have commented that his hair looks blonder, although I'm attributing that to a summer spent in the sun.  Before anyone starts making jokes about mailmen, Chris had blond hair as a kid, even though it's now as brown as mine.

Soren's pronunciation has been slow and coming.  He especially has trouble saying the "s" sound.  But just in the last week or two we noticed that he's starting to pronounce his name correctly, and not "Oren."  He hasn't 100% mastered the "s" sound, so if I hear him stumble on a word, I try to see if I can get him to repeat it correctly.  One day he asked for a spoon and after a couple rounds of me trying to get him to say it correctly and him responding with "poon," he finally matter-of-factually said, "I want one of those."  Way to adapt. 

Soren's fear of dogs is still pretty intense, but we're starting to see him  open up to them.  He still flips out most of the time (and I mean utterly and completely lose it), but if he has an opportunity to warm up to the idea, (that is the dog doesn't approach him, look at him, surprise him with its presence, and so on) he might actually reach out his little hand for a quick pet.  Unfortunately I forgot to mention Soren's fear of dogs to our au pair, but he quickly figured it out when he took the kids to their first playdate and the family had a dog, the most docile, lethargic Lab one has probably ever met.  When I asked Soren what they did with the dog when he was scared, he said in a timid little voice, "The doggie had to go to his woom."

After the party the week before his birthday, Soren's actual birthday was quite low-key.  We spent the morning at the park with friends and he got Izzy's ice cream for dessert that evening.  He was also quite excited to open his birthday presents to find a Mickey Mouse movie and Heatwave, the transformer.  

Tamarack Nature Center Birthday Party

Oliver and Soren had a joint birthday party on Saturday at the Tamarack Nature Center to celebrate turning five and three. It was a simple affair - cake and a craft in a classroom inside the nature center and then play time at the center's incredible natural play area.  Lots of friends made the trek up from St. Paul to enjoy afternoon sunshine and brisk fall air against the backdrop of forest and prairie. 

The party was a humbling reminder that "simple" is still a lot of work.  While I was baking four dozen cupcakes, Chris was making a last-minute run to Michael's for more craft supplies.  Two hours before we needed to leave for the party, where was I?  At Target of course.  And then there was what I couldn't control, the weather. The weekend before the party had been gorgeous - sunny and unseasonably warm.  But it rained every day for the next week, which left me obsessively checking the weekend weather report.  I was nervous that a high of 45 and wind was going to dampen guests' enthusiasm for leaving the warmth of the nature center building.  And then how were we going to entertain 15 kids inside a classroom for two hours?

My worries ended up not being reality.  The craft activity of making trick-or-treat bags was a hit with the kids and ended up being a great way to keep them occupied while we waited for everyone to arrive.  After singing Happy Birthday and eating as many cupcakes as their hearts desired, the parents bundled the kids up and ushered them outside while my mother-in-law and a couple of friends helped me pack up and take everything out to the car.  When I joined the group over in the play area, parents and kids were building forts with tree branches, digging moats in the sand area or playing tag among the boulders.  The brisker weather ended up working to our advantage as we had the whole place to ourselves.  Not only did the kids have fun, but the adults too!  Many of my friends had never been to the Tamarack Nature Center and were as delighted about discovering this gem of a play area as their kids were. 

Despite all the work that had gone into this "simple" party, it was clearly worth it.  Not only did my kids have fun, but it was wonderful to be reminded how loved they are by so many people.

A Birthday on the Other Side of the World

On the other side of the world, one of my children is celebrating a birthday without me, and more sadly, without a family.  So today is a bittersweet day for me.  It marks another year we haven't had with our child.  Although this birthday is spent a world apart from each other, I find some peace knowing that we will have many more birthdays to celebrate together, even if not this one. 

Oliver at Five

I asked Oliver last night about how he felt about turning five.

"Awesome!" he said.

I asked why.  "Because it sounds exciting," he replied.  Oh, to be a five-year-old again.  Too cute.  I predict five will be an exciting year for Oliver. 

Oliver still likes building with blocks, but is moving on up to one of my favorite childhood toys, Legos.  Our neighbors' daughter recently got into Legos and Oliver has spent many summer afternoons and evenings playing on her porch with her.  Not surprisingly he asked for Legos for his birthday and Chris and I spent an evening (gleefully) looking over all the options on the internet. 

Oliver may finally be mature enough for Legos not just because he has developed the dexterity to manipulate such small pieces, but because his attention span is increasing.  If he's interested in something, he can actually stick with one task for a reasonable amount of time.  For instance, he'll sit at the dining room table and color for a whole half an hour.  And his pictures are becoming more recognizable and more detailed. 

His increased maturity and attention span is becoming useful.  For those who know Thomas the Train, he's becoming Really Useful.  My husband the engineer calls him a "value add."  Oliver may never like helping to pick up his toys, but gosh, he loves being a helper with everything else.  Chris put him to work helping to paint our master bedroom and not only did he love it, but he actually painted a lot of the wall and really well too.  Since Chris gets home from work earlier than I do, he usually starts dinner and Oliver loves to help.  Chris set out the ingredients for guacamole and coached Oliver through the steps, but otherwise, Oliver made it all by himself. 

Oliver can't talk quietly.  No matter how insignificant what he has to tell you is, it always seems like he's yelling.  I'm actually going to talk to the doctor to confirm he doesn't have a hearing problem.  Chris thinks I'm being ridiculous.  He thinks there's nothing wrong with him.  In his opinion, he simply gets his voice from his mom.

As loud as Oliver is when he talks, I'm proud of his seemingly large vocabulary and excellent grammar.  He speaks better English than most adults.  Except that he's picked up one "linguistic filler" overused by the younger generations  - the word "like".  While Oliver can chatter away, I have noticed that when he realizes he has your undivided attention while he tells a story, he suddenly has trouble getting the story out.  He pauses often to think of what he wants to say next and that's where I've recently noticed the word "like" used in ways that make me cringe.  And I cringed even more when I reflected on my own overuse of the word like and realized that as much as he's learning to use good/well and "you and I" versus "you and me" properly, I'm imparting some bad language habits as well. 

Oliver may be turning five and growing up in front of my eyes, but he still likes to sit in my lap to read a book.  I should be thankful that my lap is such a coveted spot and that Oliver and Soren beg to be the one who gets to sit there for the bedtime story.

We're still reading many of the picture books we've been reading for a few years now.  These are books with a couple of lines of text per page and a story line, but also tons of pictures.  We've tried getting him interested in chapter books, but for the most part, he's not interested.  Most of the time when we read books together, Soren is with us, and he quickly loses interest in stories without pictures and once he gets squirrely, Oliver follows suit.  We've had success with simple chapter books, like from the Penny series by Kevin Henkes, but again, these books focus on the pictures and that's still a big draw. 

Oliver can identify individual letters, but hasn't developed a recognition of words yet.  He "reads" books out loud from memorization.  And what a memory he has.  If I skip a word on the page when I'm reading, or inadvertently modify it, Oliver corrects me, and then will not let the issue drop until I acknowledge that I had read the word incorrectly. 

Before I talk about how much my kid loves the outdoors, I'll mention first that he also loves to sit on the couch in front of the TV.  He totally vegges out.  We used to have a lot of behavior problems after too much TV time, but now he's pretty good about accepting whatever limits we put on how much he can watch and will turn the TV or computer off when we ask him to.  And while I have a love-hate relationship with Oliver's love of TV, I admit it has its place.  It buys us some peace and quiet when we need to actually get something done around the house and for a kid who's otherwise so active and creative, why not let him indulge a little?

Because otherwise, Oliver is super active.  He loves being outside.  He likes fishing, tubing and riding on the boat.  He even likes collecting the black walnuts that fall in our yard from the neighbor's tree. His favorite days are when he gets to go to the beach and park and play outside with his neighbor buddy, Paloma, all in one day.  He's usually begging to go to "Shoots and Ladders," the beach at Lebanon Hills Regional Park or the Tamarack Nature Center.  He's finally figured out how to pump his legs on the swing, so lately, he wants to hit up the swings first before anything else at the playground.  The chillier fall weather isn't deterring him.  Even though the lake is now freezing cold, he'll still wade around in it until it's time to go home.  And then he checks to see if Paloma is outside and they play Legos or run around the front sidewalk and neighbors' yards playing the "hot lava game" (still haven't figured out what that is!) and whatever else their imaginations come up with. 

If he isn't playing pretend with Paloma, he's making up stories. Oliver's latest thing at bedtime is to tell make-believe stories.  He wants everyone to tell a story, even Soren, who obliges. 

Oliver's 5th birthday is shaping up to be a good one.  On the docket for the day is spending time with one of his favorite babysitters and Grandma (they're tag-teaming filling in while our au pair is out of town), handing out homemade cookies to his classmates at preschool and then going to ECFE where he'll get to wear a birthday crown.  Again, wouldn't it be great to be five again?

Renovation Update and a Birthday Shout-Out

This is a renovation update and birthday shout-out all rolled up in one.  My dear husband turns 32 today.  And he'll probably spend it working on the house.  As we push into week 10 of our house renovation, I'm reminded how lucky I am to have married a guy with construction skills and a drive to put in the work.  To cut down renovation costs, Chris has tackled some of the work on his own.  Like ripping down all the siding on our two-story house. 

The job was harder than it sounds because we discovered the original wood siding underneath the metal siding.  The newer siding came off reasonably easily, but they then had to go back and pull out every single nail.  And once the siding was down, they had to haul it to the dumpster in our backyard.  It took Chris, and my equally hard-working brother-in-law and father-in-law an entire dirty and sweaty weekend to finish the job. Well, everything except the very, very top.  As much as I admire Chris for his fearlessness to climb this ladder to pull the siding down, I admire him more for accepting they've climbed as high as they safely could.

For Chris's 33rd year of life, I'm tempted to wish him the completion of all house projects because he's worked so hard.  But that's not Chris.  He's the type of guy who's always gotta have a project.  So instead I'll say that I hope his 33rd year is blessed with a (small) project (or two).  Or at least one that doesn't have him hanging from a ladder.  

Low-Key Birthday

The truth about having a birthday right after Christmas is that I'm honestly exhausted by the time January 6 rolls around.  The post-holiday exhaustion has only gotten worse since having kids.  The build-up starts in the fall with the kids' and Chris's birthday and our anniversary.  Then comes the craziness of the Thanksgiving-through-New Year's period.  Even when I say this is the year I'll have party, I end up running out of time to plan anything.

Prior to my birthday, everyone has spent weeks attending holiday parties, eating and drinking a lot and staying out late.  By the time my birthday rolls around, you're either still sticking to your New Year's resolution of eating better and drinking less and the last you want is for my birthday cake to ruin your new-found healthy habits, or you just want a nap.  Thus I actually feel guilty asking anyone to celebrate with me.

I may not be a big celebrator of my birthday, but I like to do something.  And so I vowed that this year I really would do something, even if it was small.  I e-mailed a handful of friends in the middle of the week to see who was around on Saturday.  One friend immediately confirmed she could make it.  Even if no one else could come over on such short notice, I officially had birthday plans!

Having very little time forced me to keep things simple.  I think what overwhelmed me in past years was getting hung up on thinking a party required lots of planning.  All I really needed to host a birthday dinner was a meal, cake and wine.  To save on a trip to the store, I ordered groceries online for the first time and then cooked a big pot of chili the night before and baked cornbread from the Jiffy box mix.  Even though I prefer to bake my own cakes or cupcakes because I enjoy baking (and because I'm frugal), I again opted for convenience and bought cupcakes from a local bakery.  There was a mad scramble on Saturday afternoon as I attempted to clean with two kids present in the house, but once Chris took them swimming at the Y, I had the time I needed to put toys away, clean up and set out drinks and food.  

Despite the last-minute planning, the evening ended up being exactly the kind of birthday celebration I had hoped for.  A lively group of friends, good wine (and no where to drive) and lots of laughter. 

Soren's First Birthday Party

It was a big birthday for Soren, so I arranged for all his favorite things on his day. He got his 2.5 teeth cleaned, was held by strangers (hey, they did sing Happy Birthday to him) and then topped the day off by getting a bath. The next day he had his 12-month wellness check-up, which included four immunizations, a flu shot and a blood draw.  And his mom and dad didn't even get him a birthday gift.  Oy vey!

One thing I've learned when it comes to first birthdays is that babies don't really care.  The day, and especially the party, are totally about the parents.  Since Soren's birthday fell on Thursday, the day was pretty much business as usual, including the dentist appointment.  Oliver and I greeted Soren in the morning by singing him Happy Birthday and then I purposefully went into work a little late just to get some extra time with Soren before his morning nap. 

So that was his actual birthday, but on Saturday, we were finally able to celebrate Soren's birthday properly.  Daddy took him to the Children's Museum in the morning and then Grandma, Grandpa, Uncle Andy and Papa Danielle came over for dinner.  The adage about kids enjoying the box more than the gift inside rang true when we presented Soren with a huge box my dad and stepmother shipped and instead of trying to open it, he gleefully climbed on top of the box.  We convinced him that his grandparents had not just mailed him a jungle gym and we showed him how to rip the wrapping paper off and he thought that was neat.  Eventually our small living room floor was covered in new toys and I doubted that he missed a gift from mom and dad.  Chris's parents were thoughtful enough to give Soren some bath toys and wrote in his birthday card, "We just want you to be happy."  Oliver loved all of Soren's new toys too and wanted to cut the party short so he could get a bath and play with the new tugboat Soren received.

After opening gifts, we enjoyed dinner and birthday cake.  We were wise this time around and held Soren far away from the cake and the flames of the candles.  Soren was barely into dinner, so I didn't think he'd even bother with the cake.  And given how's recently started throwing food on the floor, I was prepared for him to do that with his birthday cake without even tasting it!  Instead, he just stared at the cake and then stared at us.  Eventually he decided to try one of the strawberries and finally picked up a piece of cake and took a big bite. 

12 Months Ago

Tonight I spent the evening looking at pictures of Soren from the past 12 months.  I've shared many on Facebook, but I've taken so many that even as I took them, I knew that many only I would ever see.  But I still take pictures so that on occasions like tonight, the night before Soren's first birthday, I can reminisce.  I almost cried looking at pictures from his first days and weeks of life when I realized that I can't remember anymore what Soren looked like or how small he once was if it weren't for pictures.  But I also looked in awe at some pictures that I probably haven't looked at since I first uploaded them from my camera. And of course when looking at pictures that span the first year of Soren's life, I was amazed by his physical transformation in that time. 

In folder upon folder of pictures, there's occasionally one of me.  And I reflected on my own transformation.  At this time twelve months ago, I was in labor, and what I guess can be an exhilarating (even if painful) time in a woman' life, was not so for me.  I was in pain, of course, but also terrified.  I was anxious about being able to handle a second kid and how I'd manage physically if I had another c-section.  There was really nothing positive about my labor either.  Not the ineffective epidurals and a baby in a posterior position, not the uncaring labor and delivery nurse, not the OB with bad beside manner, not the long labor and finally, not, an unsuccessful VBAC and another c-section. 

Even though there's a lot regarding Soren's birth that's still painful for me, the 12 months that followed have been exhilarating.  I fell in love with him almost immediately and now can't remember what my life was like without him.  Everyone says the first year of a baby's life goes by so quickly, but I feel like Soren's first year has gone by even faster than Oliver's.  That's possibly because we weren't adjusting to being parents and our lives just got that much crazier with two kids.  Despite the chaos and lack of sleep that are now part of my life, when I think back on this past year with Soren, I just think about how happy I am with him in my life.   

Oliver's 3rd Birthday

I decided that at age three, Oliver was old enough for his first kid party.  I invited a couple of his friends, baked a cake, decorated the dining room for a birthday lunch and planned a couple of games.  I thought about how best to cater the games to the three-year-old level, but clearly had missed a few details, like that this age group does NOT like to be blindfolded.  So the classic Pin the Tail on the Donkey was a bust.  Since three-year-olds like to aimlessly run in circles, I thought for sure I'd have more success with Musical Chairs.  But I guess the kids appreciate the "aimlessly" part of "aimlessly run" and never really grasped the concept of having to march in one direction and stop just because the music stopped.  At least they liked the prizes! 

We eventually abandoned the games and the kids ran to the front of the house where they emptied the porch of all its trikes and toys, drew with chalk on the sidewalk and...raked leaves. Go figure.  I could have had a leaf raking party and the kids would have had just as much fun and my yard would have been raked.   

The cake was a hit though.  Dessert always is.  Oliver happily complied with sitting in front of his cake so we could sing for him and he beamed at his chocolate cake with chocolate icing the whole song and then blew out his three candles all by himself.  Once all the kids were served, an unusual silence permeated the dining room as the kids contently munched on their cake.  And then because they're all three years old, the guests had to leave so they could go home and take their naps. 

Oliver had already had a busy day marking his third birthday.  He, his dad and Soren explored a fun new playground in the morning while I got the house ready for the party, and after nap (which never happened due to the fact that he had just overloaded on sugar and his Uncle Andy and Papa Danielle were over) they were going to go together to an afternoon Twins game. 

Since a nap wasn't going to happen, Oliver got to open his birthday gifts from his family.  He received unit blocks, a couple of books, a toy lantern to illuminate his forts, and a Wild jersey and Twins jacket from his Minnesota sports loving aunt and uncle. 

Oliver had so much fun that he announced at bedtime that evening that he wanted it to be his birthday again. He probably meant, again, as in the next day, as if you can just declare any day your birthday.  I'm promised him that he'd get another birthday, but that he'd just have to wait a year.