Matteo at Age Three

A year ago today I was so sad we couldn't make it to China before Tao Tao's second birthday.  September had seemed so far off when we first laid eyes on his picture in May.  Our dossier had already been translated and our agency was predicting a quick approval from China and I honestly believed it wouldn't be long before we'd have our children in our arms.  Instead, by the time Matteo's birthday came, we had experience multiple delays and were in the middle of a never-ending wait for approval from China.  Instead of being happy, I was depressed. 

A year later and I was at a park with a friend and as my kids were running around enjoying the sun and the chill autumn air, and she turned to me and commented how she can't believe Matteo and Kiera have been in our family less than a year because it seems like forever they've been a part of our lives.  Although I will never forget the ache in my heart as I hoped to one day finally hold my children in my arms, my sadness has been replaced with joy.  Matteo and I were seperated for his last birthday, but he is forever part of our family for all his birthdays to come.   

Matteo is a joy for a son.  He's not the most smiley of kids, but gosh, when he does smile, he lights up a room with his huge grin.  There's really so much to love about this kid.  He has such an agreeable personality who generally goes with the flow and is up for what anyone else is doing.  He loves books, baths, reading books, coloring, building with blocks or Magnatiles, playing outside and tagging along to anything his brothers are up to.    

He loves going to preschool and is thriving there, as are his siblings.  I wish I could send him five mornings a week instead of only three because he likes it that much 

Matteo takes it easy on us parents in that he's completely potty-trained (and has been since we met him), is a great eater and sleeps well. Don't those issues comprise the top three complaints parents tend to have about their three-year-olds? 

Matteo works very hard during his speech therapy lessons and his therapists continue to be impressed with his attention span and persistence.  He currently has four sessions a week between what he qualifies through the school district and then private speech therapy.  Unfortunately, his speech is still largely unintelligible unless you know are really paying attention and have direct context (as in he points to the object as he says in the word).

As the fourth child, Matteo's naps have been pushed to the wayside.  We're able to get away with this because he's such an easy-going child, but most afternoons, it's clear he could benefit from a catnap.  If we're in the car in the afternoon, it's rare he stays awake, even for a five-minute drive.  When he wakes up from a short-lived nap, is one of the few times we see him truly grumpy.  The post-nap period is prime cuddle time.  

He's pretty attached to Chris and his brothers.  Sometimes Chris and I divide and conquer with the kids and we each take two and head in separate directions hoping to get as much done as possible.  Matteo is so sad if he see Chris leaving with Oliver and Soren and he gets left behind.

Something else that continues to incite tears in Matteo are dogs.  It doesn't matter how big or small, puppy-like or elderly, well-behaved or needs to go to obedience school, he steers clear of any dog at any cost. 

A recent development we've noticed in Matteo is wanting to do things by himself.  Whereas he used to get upset if someone wouldn't help him put his shoes on (even though he could do it himself), he now gets upset if you try to help him.  He also wants to try to dress himself, which can really test one's patience. 

Oliver at Age Six

I've been told that kindergarten is a big growth year.  Sure, us parents make a big deal out of it because it's symbolic of our "babies" becoming bonafide big kids, but entering school really forces them to grow up.  Oliver now walks himself to his classroom, has a locker and takes an hour-long bus ride home with students as old as eighth grade.  While his kindergarten classroom provides a secure  home base, he has some classes in other rooms of the building, eats his lunch in the cafeteria and attends after-school activities in yet another location.  More is expected of him socially, academically and maturity-wise.

Oliver shows a lot more independence at home.  He can dress himself and he's even started taking showers.  He can put an entire Lego set together by himself.  As long as one of the neighbor kids is outside, he can be outside without Chris or me.  We trust him that he'll follow the rules for playing outside without us. 

Despite Oliver's budding independence, change is still hard for him.  Routine is really comforting for him.  Just as soon as he started to get the hang of the school routine, he learned he was going on a field trip and that prospect had him anxious for days.  The same anxiety cropped up on the first day his after-school arts and crafts group would be meeting because he didn't know exactly where in the school building they would meet and then I would be picking him up instead of him taking the bus home, and while he liked that idea, me picking him up still threw off his routine. 

For the first time in his life, there's a big chunk of Oliver's day we don't have vision to.  Luckily, he's doing a surprising good job of reporting back to us on his day.  Some of the details don't necessarily add up, like the classmate who moved out of his classroom, supposedly to eighth grade, (his teacher told us later the child was moved to another kindergarten classroom to balance out the class sizes) but we nonetheless love hearing about his day and what's important to him, like what he had for lunch and who he plays with at recess.

Oliver continues to be really into arts and crafts.  When I told him he could choose from sports or arts and crafts for his after-school activity, Oliver chose the latter. Art is one of his favorite subjects (along with Gym).  For his birthday, his grandmother took him out to dinner and then to a craft store to let him pick out his own birthday present.  In a surprise twist, he came home with a chemistry set!

To the delight of his parents who love to play board games, Oliver not only enjoys them, but is finally at an age where we can teach him to play.  We played a lot of Monopoly Deal on our trip to North Dakota and when we got home, he discovered the Monopoly game I got for my eight birthday.  We think he likes games so much because he's such a rule-follower.  

Oliver is very well-behaved at school, and his teacher called him a sweetheart.  He received his first birthday party invitation from a classmate who had invited only the girls in the class, and Oliver, because he's the nicest boy in the class according to the little girl's mother.  These moments make me beam as a mom.  Then at home he pushes the limits of our parenting abilities and continues to humble Chris and me into accepting that six years later, we're still figuring out this parenting thing and will never have all the answers. 

We've got one stubborn kid who is full of opinions and energy and sometimes raw emotion.  But Oliver also has a tender, emotional side to him. He wants to cuddle with us while we read him a book and he can't go to bed without a kiss goodnight or let me leave for work without a final hug and waving to me from the window. He's incredibly creative and is often found in the midst of a new project or drawing.

Interstate State Park

We are so lucky in Minnesota to have as many state parks as we do, and many are within just an hour's drive of the Twin Cities.  For only $25 a year, a car load of friends and family can have unlimited access to Minnesota's natural wonders. Today's gorgeously sunny, early fall day was too perfect to not take advantage of the opportunity to get outside, and what better place than one of Minnesota's state parks. 

I can't believe this is the first time I've been to Interstate State Park in Taylor's Falls.  It's only an hour's drive northeast of St. Paul and the park, along with a park of the same name on the Wisconsin side, straddles the scenic St. Croix River.  Earthquakes, lava flows and glaciers formed the river valley, the cliffs and the glacial potholes in the park. 

We started with a picnic lunch along the tranquil St. Croix River in the southern part of the park.  The boat launch and campgrounds are at this quieter end of the park.  Most tourists head straight for the northern end of the park, where the largest concentration of glacial potholes in the world is located.  That's exactly where we headed too right after lunch and arrived just in time to join the naturalist-guided "Pothole Exploration Tour."  For someone who remembers very little of my Geology 101 (aka, "Rocks for Jocks") class in college, the tour was well worth it for me.  I was pleasantly surprised by how much Oliver learned from the tour as well, since I assumed much of the information was over his head.  We need to get him a field journal now, because he enjoyed drawing pictures of things he saw on our walk with the naturalist. 

After the walk, we spent time scrambling on the rocks, exploring more of the potholes and enjoying the warm sunshine. I wished we could have gone on another hike to get away from the crowds, but little Matteo, who technically still needs to nap, but doesn't anymore because he's the fourth child, wasn't going to make it.  So we piled back in the car and took the scenic route home.  Matteo and Kiera were sound asleep within 10 minutes. 

We had a wonderful afternoon, but I'll be honest that the kids weren't exactly thrilled in the morning when they heard where we were headed.  Thus it was vindicating to hear Oliver exclaim on the Pothole Exploration Tour that he was having so much fun and wanted to do this every weekend.  He should watch what he wishes for.  I've only been to 16 of Minnesota's 76 state parks and recreation areas and I'm yearning to see more. 

Kiera Update: 3.5 Years

Her Grandpa thinks she's brilliant and she's the darling only granddaughter to her smitten Grandma.  It's hard not to love this adorable little girl who gets excited about a pretty dress and a matching hair bow.

So what is this brilliant three-and-a-half-year-old up to these days?  Kiera goes to preschool three mornings a week with Soren and Matteo and is thriving there.  Her teacher reports that she enjoys the various activities and plays with other kids.  She has fun there, and while it is only on her own timeline that she will play catch-up, the singing songs, listening to stories, interacting with peers and practicing numbers and colors and A,B,C's can only help.

Two times a week Kiera has speech therapy.  It used to take her time to warm up at the beginning of each session, but now she gets right to work.  The speech therapists work with her on articulation since there are certain sounds she has trouble with and she drops the last consonant of a word when she speaks.  They think her problems with articulation are compounding her inability to use phrases, let alone speak in sentences.  We are seeing improvement in her speech, but it's been slow, very slow, progress.

Unlike her brothers, Kiera is very interested in babies.  A friend of mine had a baby in August and because I know her so well, I knew she wouldn't mind if I show up with all four kids in tow.  I think the boys were more interested in the cupcakes I'd brought along to celebrate the Baby Jude's "birth day", but Kiera wandered down the hall softly calling out "Baby?" as we passed each door in the corridor looking for my friend's room. I made the kids keep their distance during our visit at the hospital, but Kiera finally got to hold the baby a few weeks later. I couldn't tell if she understood that he wasn't a baby doll because when he moved, she looked like she didn't know what to make of him.

Kiera continues to be an adventurous eater with a good appetite.  We're not sure where all that food goes though since she's so dainty.  No matter what we serve, we're confident she'll eat it and without a complaint!  Given how vocal two of her brothers are about their likes and all their dislikes, it's so refreshing to have a meal with Kiera.  However, some of their picky-eating has rubbed off on her.  Since they won't eat the crusts of their sandwich, Kiera won't either. She's also taught us that hot dogs and burritos can have "crusts" too and eats all but the backbone of her bun or the side of her tortilla.

Kiera has recently become my little sidekick.  She likes to be by me, even if I'm just doing chores.  She's actually quite good at folding laundry!  If I'm making dinner, she'll pull of a stool and watch me as I prepare the food.  She's generally content following me around or accompanying me on errands.  The one-on-one time is not only good for bonding, but it's good for speech, because she's not being drowned out by her louder and more talkative brothers. 

Kiera has a much different energy about her than her brothers.  She's much calmer and quieter.  But that doesn't mean she doesn't have some spunk to her.  She loves going to the playground and especially loves the swings.  The hard and higher you push her on the swings, the happier she is.  She's also a good climber and I suggested Chris take her to a climbing wall.  Kiera has been able to pedal her tricycle really well from pretty much the first day she rode one even though it's possible she never road a bike prior to joining our family. More recently she's been getting quite good on the balance bike.  Although Kiera is not the quickest walker, she's still a good walking buddy.  She's always game for a hike and never whines or complains.

Because of her calm energy, Kiera has what I think is a higher-than-average attention span.  She can play quietly with toys and especially loves building with her Magnatiles and coloring.  We have to keep a watchful eye on her when she has a marker in hand, because she's already developed a reputation in our family for coloring where she's not supposed to and neglecting to put the caps back on.  

At the Waconia Rodeo in July.

For all the calm that Kiera exudes, two things light a fire under her - getting frustrating with not being able to figure something seemingly inconsequential out (like fitting two puzzle pieces together - she jams them together instead of trying another piece) and having something taken away from her.  Now she does have three siblings who are also learning impulse control and are known for snatching something from her hands, but for Kiera's part, she's pretty darn sneaky, and it gets her trouble.  She gravitates towards whatever a brother is holding, waits for him to put it down and moves in on the object.  It doesn't matter how nicely we tell Kiera her brother was still having a turn, her face immediately loses emotion, but just momentarily, and then she cries ugly, crocodile tears.

It's in these moments that Kiera's hard past is speaking out.  At only three-and-a-half years old, she's burying a lot, until an interaction triggers something deep in her psyche and her only ability to cope is to shut down.  We can only guess at what's going on inside her mind.  Has she never had anything that was truly hers and does taking away a toy represent a greater loss in her life? 

Even after the tears stop, we don't see the real Kiera again for awhile.  Her eyes divert ours no matter how much we ask to see her beautiful eyes and she holds out with the silent treatment.  It's frustrating and heart-breaking all at once.  This little girl has so much potential and we have to be patient as we help her unlock her potential. 

At that's why I love this final photo of Kiera I leave you with.  Kiera is generally a very happy kid, but she's not necessarily a smiley kid. Our au pair, Celina, captured this moment of pure joy in Kiera.  That day there was no stone face, no lack of eye contact and no silent treatment.  Just the real Kiera.

Grandma Nan, Our Honorary Speech Therapist

Even though no one ever mentioned speech delays in the referral paperwork or updates we received for Kiera and Matteo, let alone officially diagnosed them, they have significant delays. Thankfully we knew of these delays because we thought to ask questions about their speech when we requested updates during our long wait to travel.  However, for children with special needs adopted from abroad, you won't fully understand the extent of their diagnoses until you meet them and then have them evaluated by a doctor back home. 

We arrived home with a two-and-a-half-year-old and a three-year-old who each couldn't say more than five words in any language.  I pushed as hard as I could to have them evaluated as soon as possible because I didn't want to lose any more precious time, but also because my maternity leave was about to end.  We quickly scheduled surgeries, (ears for both, cleft palate for Matteo) but they did not magically spur my children to suddenly speak in clear and complete sentences like I had hoped.  So we moved onto speech therapy.  That is where Grandma Nan stepped in. 

I was so excited to get Kiera and Matteo started, but the speech therapist laughed as she reminded me that they're not miracles workers.  Speech therapy requires long-term commitment,(for us, that will mean years) persistence and practice.  I want to give my children all the resources available to reach their full potential, but what Chris and I are both lacking right now is time.  We can't take that kind of time off work to make sure the kids get to the six appointments weekly between the two of them. 

Grandma Nan is the reason we can sign them up for the intensive speech therapy they need.  We were able to start them right away because Nan had the flexibility to accommodate whatever openings the therapist had her tight schedule.  I type the appointments into our shared calendar app and Nan takes care of the rest.  She brings the kids to their appointments and then sends Chris and me page-long, detailed reports of what Kiera or Matteo worked on that day.  We read about what words or signs they practiced, activities or techniques the therapist used to help them develop certain sounds, and what the kids need to practice at home. 

The benefits of Nan's participation in the kids' speech therapy extends beyond being able to attend the appointments.  When you're one of four children, one-on-one time with someone special like a grandmother is precious.  The kids love the individual attention and I think Grandma enjoys the opportunity to bond with her new grandchildren.  Ever the patient teacher she is, she works in additional speech practice and reinforcement of what they learned in the sessions as she goes about her one-one-one time with Kiera or Matteo. 

The Fishhook

I got the call every parent fears, the call that one of my children had been injured.  The call came in from Celina's phone, but it wasn't Celina on the other end, but rather a man who told me he was with Celina and Soren had hurt his leg and they were all headed to the hospital.  I immediately gathered my things and left for the hospital, which was thankfully only a five-minute drive away.  Before I arrived though, I received a text from my mother-in-law that she too was on her way and that she didn't know exactly what had happened, but thought that Celina and the kids might have been involved in a car accident.  I panicked as I thought of all the possibilities of what could have happened.

When I was finally reunited with Soren in the emergency room, I was relieved to see that he was not gravely injured, his leg had not been broken, our minivan had not been in an accident and Celina, our au pair, was not in a puddle of tears, as I would have been had our roles been reversed.  My son, however, had a fishhook stuck in his leg.  Yes, a fish hook.

After Celina left to take our good Samaritan home, I was left to explain to the emergency room technician who was clipping four feet of line from Soren's newly-embedded fish hook what had happened.  She looked at me quizzically, as did everyone else we met that afternoon, as I explained the little bit Celina had told me.  They were headed to get ice cream, Soren tripped on the sidewalk, skinned his knee, and ended up with a fish hook in his calf.  No, they weren't fishing.  No, it wasn't our fish hook.  No, he wasn't playing with it.  No, I have no idea what a fish hook was doing there on the ground.  The more I explained, the more I was surprised that Child Protective Services did not show up.

Soren had to have an x-ray so the doctor could see how deep the hook had penetrated and the results quickly ruled out being able to employ the "string pull method" and we talked other options.  I opted for the Ketamine, which put Soren into a sedative state and protected him from memories of the painful Lidokaine shots and the doctor having to push the barb out another section of his calf, clipping the hook, and pulling the remaining piece of the barb out through the other hole.  The method had sounded straight-forwarded, so I was surprised by how much pushing and yanking was required to get the job done.

As I waited for Soren to rouse from the sedation, I commented to the nurse tending to Soren about his dumb luck.  He couldn't have done this to himself again if he tried I said.  The nurse laughed, but then estimated the hospital sees about 275 cases a year involving fishhooks.  In fact, Soren's case will probably end up as part of some study about how the hospital treats people impaled by fishhooks.  Two-hundred seventy-five I asked him incredulously.  He shrugged his shoulders and responded, "Well, it is the Land of 10,000 Lakes."  This kind of stuff just happens.

Even though this experience was traumatic for Soren, it reminded me how much I have to be thankful for - our au pair whose maturity and composure defies her 20 years of age, a stranger who helped her and drove with her to the hospital, my mother-in-law who kept us company during the long wait and the hospital staff who provided the best care possible to a terrified little boy. 

Lucky Seventh Wedding Anniversary

Chris and I marked our seventh wedding anniversary on Sunday.  That number doesn't sound like a long time, but one MBA while working a full-time job, two houses, a major home renovation, one adoption times two and four kids later, we've done a lot in seven years.  Wow. 

We didn't do much to celebrate given that the four by-products of our marriage take up much of our time at this point in our lives.  Somewhere in between weekend errands, building a new railing for our deck stairs and cooking dinner, we did, however, vow to try to make more time for each other this coming year.  It's too bad that we were both at a loss for how exactly we would make that happen before we become empty-nesters.  

What I've learned over seven years is that parenting is hard, co-parenting is hard and marriage is hard.  Of course it is. That makes me that much more proud of all that Chris and I have accomplished.  And so darn thankful that I picked the right life partner. 

These Three Are Off to Preschool

Oliver started kindergarten two weeks ago and my other three finally had their first day of preschool today.  It was an extra special day for Matteo, because after accompanying his three older siblings to school last spring, he got to walk into school, not as a younger sibling, but as a classmate.  Due to a mixed-age class and a teacher willing to be flexible with a September 1 age cut-off, (Matteo won't be three until the end of the month) Soren, Kiera and Matteo are all in the same preschool class this year.  When I learned that there are only nine kids in the class, their teacher pointed out that if my kids get sick, there goes a third of the class!

Aren't little kids with book bags just so adorable?

Celina dropped them off on their first day and reported that everything went very well.  Kiera and Matteo knew exactly what to do and were happy to be there.  Soren also did better than we expected since he only needed a few extra hugs and reassurance.  It warms my heart that they like school and am thankful for those three mornings a week they get to play with other kids their age. These next two years are precious to me because they're the only time these three will spend in the same class together before they're going to be split up across two grades. 

When Your Heart is Still in China

A fellow adoptive mama recently posted in one of my adoption Facebook groups about how she thinks all the time about going back to China.  The desire to go back sticks with her even during the lowest of lows of parenting a child whose background includes trauma, even though she and her husband are not getting any younger, even while they struggle to regain their footing financially, even with their hands full being the best parents they can be to the children they have and even though she knows that for all of these reasons, they probably won't go back.

My heart is broken along with hers.  Every last word of her confession could have been written by me.  Chris and I went to China knowing that we would be completing our family.  Yet it's so hard seeing how many children still need families and I came home questioning whether we were truly done.  So I dream about going back even though we absolutely cannot adopt again anytime soon, if ever.  I can't stop looking at the advocacy boards on Facebook and imagining the children staring back at me in the pictures blending into our family, even though in reality we have no room left in our house.  We're still catching up financially and adjusting to the expenses that come with having four children. We're two parents being pulled at times in too many directions trying to meet all our children's needs. 

I understand the reality for our family, but I may still never stop dreaming of China. And that's okay even if it hurts a little.  Adoptive families will tell you, "China changes you."  I guess it was inevitable that coming home from China did not mark the end of our family's story. 

Oh, Give Me a Home Where the Bison Roam

It's a shame North Dakota doesn't have a better reputation as a travel destination because folks are missing out.  I'll sum it up my feelings on the topic - eastern Montana is overrated and North Dakota is underrated. 

Years ago, my friend Peter visited me from Germany.  He likes camping, hiking and the great outdoors, so we decided that we'd take a road trip out West and visit states and national parks neither of us had ever seen.  I planned a loop that would take us westward from St. Paul to Glacier National Park, southeast to Yellowstone and then east through the Badlands of South Dakota back to St. Paul.  The problem was that Glacier is a two-day's drive from St. Paul, so I asked a friend who's from Dickinson, North Dakota what she recommend in her home state, and she answered Teddy Roosevelt National Park.  It was conveniently halfway between St. Paul and Glacier.

What was meant just to be a stopover before we made it to our intended destination ended up finding a piece of my heart.  North Dakota, of all places.   It was so special to finally go back with my family. because on that first trip with Peter, we talked about out futures, he with his then girlfriend who would become his wife, and I, with Chris.  We talked about how we looked forward to taking a road trip like this with our own families someday.  There's no way I could have imagined that Chris and I would someday travel back to Teddy Roosevelt with our four children and an au pair to boot.  

Day 1: Drive to North Dakota - We had packed as much as we could the night before and then woke up at 5:00 a.m. to make breakfast for the road, fill the cooler and rouse the kids from their beds.  We were on the road at 6:30 a.m., a half an hour behind schedule.  We had eight hours of driving ahead of us.

Before I make this trip out to be the best we could have imagined, I'll be honest with you.  There was a lot of whining and fighting in the car.  Chris and I had planned to split the driving, but he ended up in the back managing the kids for much of the trip, because he's the more patient one, and I ended up driving most of the way.

We had also planned to hold out as long as we could before popping a movie into the DVD player, because once the kids tired of watching movies, we would have had no more cards left in our back pockets.  I don't think we made it to St. Cloud before we gave in.   Unfortunately, one kid was terrified of an opening scene in A Bug's Life, another kid (who shall remain nameless) taunted his sibling over his fear and the other two couldn't follow the plot line and quickly lost interest in the movie.  We were nowhere near the border with North Dakota and I didn't think we were going to make it.

I also underestimated how much we would need to stop.  If we stopped for gas, we tried getting the kids to use the restroom, but let's just say, public restrooms aren't their thing.  One is terrified of the automatic hand dryers, one insisted that anywhere else was a better place to relieve himself that an actual toilet, so a bush behind the public restroom building got some extra watering and another has a bladder of steel and if he isn't about to burst, why bother going? So we'd pile back in the car and make it 10 miles down the highway and one of kids would announce a need to use the restroom. Sigh.

A friend who has taken road trips with her kids suggested we eat meals in the car because it gives the kids something to do and then when you make a stop, the kids can run around and burn off steam.  I had been feeling pretty proud of myself as I doled out homemade egg sandwiches for breakfast, but by the time lunchtime arrived, I realized that we had so tightly packed the car that we could reach the cooler.

I'm just happy we found room for the kids amidst the luggage!

So we made lots of stops.  To eat, to go to the bathroom, to fill up with gas, to buy more coloring books, to see a giant fiberglass cow and to play at the playgrounds we found on the Playground Buddy app.  (A shout-out to Mapleton Elementary in Mapleton, North Dakota for letting us use your playground even though your kids were having recess and for letting us use your bathroom, which thankfully did not have an automatic hand dryer.)

"Salem Sue" on the outskirts of New Salem, North Dakota

We continued westward and 10 and a half hours after we started, we finally rolled into Medora.  The formula that Chris and I go by - add 15 minutes to every hour of scheduled driving time - was a little off due to the longer-than-expected-stop to see Salem Sue, but there was a little surprise for us in Medora.  We looked at the clocks inside our rental house and realized we were on Mountain Time and had "gained" an hour. Ultimately, getting up so early had worked out well for us.  We arrived before dinnertime with enough time to unpack, cook dinner and sit down together for a warm meal. 

Chris was relieved to see s robust sunflower crop. 

Day 2: South Unit - Our first stop was the visitors center, where we checked out two Family Fun Packs that included field guides and binoculars from the visitor center and then set out on the 36-mile loop through the South Unit.  The accessibility of the park is one of things I love about it.  The drive was manageable to do in a day and offered plenty of opportunities to enjoy the park no matter what your skill level is.  Because of the age of our kids, we stuck to the scenic overlooks and short walks.  The walk up Buck Hill was doable with the kids and the views from the top were incredible.  We saw tons of prairie dogs, a coyote stalking prairie dogs and a loan bison here and there.

Chris finally got to see why I suggested we come to Teddy Roosevelt National Park.  It's beautiful!  

After dinner, while Chris put the kids to bed, Celina and drove part of the loop again in hopes that we'd have better chances of animal sightings at dusk.  We were in luck!  We saw a small herd of bison on the side of the road.  Celina was so excited that we spotted some, until a bison started walking towards our car.  She couldn't roll up the window fast enough! 

Day 3: Horse-back riding, Painted Canyon and an evening hike - Celina grew up around horses and is an expert rider, so I took her on a trail ride so she could experience horseback riding in the wild West. We may have been in the wild West, but our horses were pretty tame.  Where they lacked speed, they made up for in dexterity though.  As we climbed the switchbacks to take us to the top of the ridge overlooking Medora, I was amazed that such big animals could navigate steep slopes while carrying people.

It was fun to see Celina so happy and in her element surrounded by horses.

Rawhide and Pepperjack were supposedly best friends.  Except Rawhide nipped Pepperjack in the rear!

After a lunch back at our house, we drove the seven miles east on I-94 to the Painted Canyon, another section of the South Unit.  I had wanted to hike along the plateau, but something stood in the way of our trail - bison. 

This is as close as Celina wanted to get to the bison.  Can you tell she's nervous about what's behind her?

Our plan B became a one-mile hike on the Painted Canyon Nature Trail, which ended up being a lot more strenuous than the distance makes it sound.  It was sunny and blazing hot that day (but thankfully low humidity) and with canyon hiking, it's so easy to get down, but then you've got to get back up again.  The kids did great in the beginning, but then we needed more and more frequent water breaks and by the end, all three of us adults were carrying children. Despite the tears at the end, I'm proud of the kids for completing the trail and I'm happy they got to see spectacular scenery up close instead of from a scenic overlook.

After the Painted Canyon, Celina was game for more hiking, so Chris dropped us off at the Big Plateau trail head and he headed back into town to get dinner with the kids.  After being subjected to heat and sun all day, it was a relief to hike when the sun wasn't as high in the sky.  Plus, we got to cool off in a river. 

I had been looking over a map of hiking trails with a park ranger earlier in the day and when I saw the trail she was suggested crossed a river, I asked her if there was a bridge.  She assured me it wasn't very deep and we could wade across.  That evening we stood at the edge of the river and peered at the trail marker on the other side. I hesitated for a moment.  We were in the wilderness with not a soul around and the woman who is usually responsible for my children was now my responsibility. Us host parents ask a lot of our au pairs and I wondered if I was asking too much to hike into a wilderness full of bison and wade across a river.  I asked her if her parents, who are big into hiking and camping, would be okay with her doing this and she said they'd be proud of her. 

With that off our shoes and socks came and we sunk our feet into the squishy clay river bottom and slowly shuffled across.  The river was as shallow as the park ranger had promised and only came as high as my knees.  Once on the other side, the most challenging part was getting our shoes back on without planting our feet in the clay or slipping on the riverbank.

We never did see the bison or wild horses we had hoped to see on that hike, but reaching the top of the plateau was nonetheless rewarding.  Not another sole was around as we gazed cross the prairie and North Dakota's Badlands and listened to the chirps of the prairie dogs and let the gentle prairie breeze dry the sweat from our skin. 

Day 4: North Unit - The North Unit is over an hour's drive from Medora and its out-of-the-way location was the reason I didn't make it up there on my last trip. 

It was a little too early for lunch when we arrived, so we decided to walk along the Little Mo Trail, which is a paved nature trail less than a mile long.  After our canyon climb the day before, I assumed this would be no problem for the kids. It was already really hot and Matteo and Kiera wanted none of it.  That almost ended up a complete parenting fail except that Oliver and Soren were surprisingly pretty into it.  We weren't far from a campground where we found a picnic table under a large shade tree and has a pleasant lunch.

After lunch, we played a couple of rounds of Monopoly Deal before heading back out on the trail.

Getting food in everyone's stomachs must have been key to generating a second wind, because the kids were in much better moods after lunch.  Chris took Oliver and Soren on a hike up a butte, while Celina, Kiera, Matteo and I explored the area around the base.  We then continued along the 14-mile scenic road that winds its way into the park. 

Day 5: Chateau de Mores and the Petrified Forest - Each day was hotter than the day before, so by our last day in Medora, we had the kids take it easy and instead of hiking, we went to Chateau de Mores, a hunting "cabin".  We went because only because we heard about a reenactment of a German immigrant's life, played by a university professor from Dickinson.  The whole thing was completely lost on all the kids, but I certainly enjoyed it.

After lunch, Celina gave us the best gift of all by watching the kids for a couple of hours so that Chris and I could go on a hike that was more than a mile.  We drove out to the Petrified Forest trail head, which is accessible by dirt road.  From there it's about a one-and-a-half-mile hike.  We continued past the Petrified Forest, to the top of a plateau and then hiked along the ridge line for awhile.  The temperature topped out at 100 degrees that afternoon and there was zero shade.  It was hot for sure and we needed to take a lot of water breaks, but the hike in those conditions were surprisingly manageable.  As hot as it was, the humidity was thankfully low and there was always a light breeze. 

That hike was probably one of my favorites since it was just Chris and me in a rare couple of hours of just the two of us. 

Day 6: Drive home -Our drive home was a repeat of our drive out to North Dakota.  We packed as much as we could the night before, woke at 5:00 a.m. and ate breakfast in the car.  We made more stops than planned, (the return trip's shout-out goes to Tower City, North Dakota for their lovely city park) the kids argued over which movie to watch and all four never managed to nap at the same time.  With seven people packed in a car, the drive wasn't always pleasant, but we made it.  Without stopping at Salem Sue on the way home, we cut a half an hour off our trip and made it home in a mere 10 hours. 

Our family's first big road trip was a success.  My kids are so young that they will remember little if any of this trip, but I'm nonetheless thankful for the trip.  I don't know when we'll have the opportunity to travel again, but that just gives me plenty of time to dream about where we should head next.

The Tessla Wedding

Chris' brother Andy, and Danielle, the woman our family has adored since the two first started dating, finally tied the knot on August 23 in Two Harbors, Minnesota.

We drove up to Duluth on Friday so that we could sightsee before the Sunday wedding.  There's not much to see on the drive up I-35 until you approach Duluth and the highway dips over the hills surrounding Lake Superior and the harbor and lake stretch out before your eyes.  Duluth is a port city and when you approach from the south, its industrial harbor dominates the view.  Nonetheless, I heard Celina whisper, "Wow!" as we cruised down into the city.

The weather was so beautiful that Chris and I decided to drive straight to Park Point, where we unloaded the kids and let them frolic in the sand and the gentle waves lapping on shore.  Park Point is a thin peninsula - just wide enough for one road and block-long side streets on either side - that stretches for three miles into Lake Superior and divides Duluth Harbor from St. Louis Bay.  The northern edge of the peninsula is lined with an uninterrupted sandy beach, a rarity in Minnesota, whose lakes are often lined with rocks and dense forests.  Celina stuck her feet in the lake to experience first-hand Lake Superior's notoriously cold waters.

Those sand dunes trick me into thinking there's an ocean beyond them, not a lake.

Our au pair, Celina, was as relieved as the kids to finally be out of the car and relaxing on the beach.

When dinnertime approached, we drove to our Airbnb rental house, a Scandinavian-style house that stood in stark contrast to the historically working class, Italian neighborhood in West Duluth. We ordered pizza, unpacked and then went to bed so we'd be rested for a day of sightseeing.  We needed that rest because Saturday was indeed a long day.

We started at Enger Park not far from the house.  The park sits on a hilltop and has the best views in the city of the harbor and lake.  We took in the view, walked through the Japanese gardens, rang the Japanese peace bell and climbed the historic water tower for yet more beautiful views.

Duluth is a port city.

A view of Duluth and the iconic Lift Bridge from Enger Park

The North Shore of Lake Superior, which stretches from Duluth to Grand Marais is dotted with some of the state's most beautiful parks.  On the drive north, you cross over river after creek after river that empty into Lake Superior.  The most impressive of them is the Gooseberry River because of the multiple falls where the river drastically drops in elevation.  Gooseberry Falls State Park was super crowded on such a warm summer day and the kids were so tired by this point that they were more excited about the ice cream we surprised them with than the beautiful surroundings.  However, we still got a little walking in to view the falls and Oliver and Chris waded around in the shallow pools below the falls.

The last of the Gooseberry River before it flows into Lake Superior

One of the middle falls

My favorite of the two state parks we visited that day was Split Rock Lighthouse State Park. Tours of the lighthouse cost extra and the lines to buy tickets were super long, so we skipped the crowds and walked down to Pebble Beach.  The entire beach was lined with pebbles and could have been called "Skipping Stone Beach," because those pebbles were perfect for skipping across the water.

Split Rock Lighthouse in the distance

As Celina gazed out over the water, she commented how she couldn't believe what she was looking at was just a lake.  Lake Superior is the largest of the five Great Lakes and they're not called "great" for nothing.  Her boyfriend back home in Germany was fooled by the lake when he first saw the picture she sent him.  After she informed him that she was at a lake, and not the ocean, he spent the time in between WhatsApp messages trying to figure out where we had taken his girlfriend and concluded she must have ended up in Canada.  

Because our children were happy as could be spending the afternoon on that beach, we never saw any other part of the park.  But it didn't matter because we were all content to sit in the sunshine, skip pebbles and climb on the rocks.  We needed that relaxing afternoon where we had nothing in particular on our agenda.

On our way back to Two Harbors for the groom's dinner, we stopped in at the lodge where Danielle and Andy were staying so we could change.  It's a testament to how chill Andy and Danielle are that they let seven of us crash their room on the night before their wedding.  While Chris showered and I ironed everyone's clothes, the rest of the adults entertained the kids with cartoons until it was time to make ourselves look as presentable as we could after spending a day playing in the sun. 

The morning of the wedding was pretty hectic since we had little time to get ready for the late-morning ceremony.  Chris, who was the Best Man, had to be there even earlier than the rest of us and I had to get four children bathed, dressed and driven 40 miles up the coast.  Luckily I had Chris' parents and Celina helping me and the bathtub was so big, I could bathe all four kids at once.

The wedding was beautiful, particularly Danielle.  Andy and Danielle met playing softball, and his courting of her was initially done covered in sweat and infield dirt.  What a juxtaposition to see her about to walk down the aisle in a stunning wedding gown with her hair and makeup so elegantly prepared.

As the ceremony was about to begin, Celina took Oliver, Kiera and Soren to their seats while I stayed behind with Matteo and prepped him for his big role as ring bearer. The music started and one by one, the wedding party made its way down the aisle.  As we waited for Matteo's turn to walk, I handed him the ring box and he immediately put it to his ear and shook it!  Then he was up!  I took his hand and led him towards the beginning of the aisle, bent down and whispered to him to go to Daddy, and then ducked out of view.  Matteo took no more than two steps at a slow pace, but once he zeroed in on Chris, he broke out in a huge smile and booked it down the aisle.  Everyone started laughing, because who could think a little boy in glasses and a tie running with a toddler gait is not cute?

Chris and Andy's Uncle Pat performed the ceremony and was both poignant and funny in his remarks.  I think it's very special when someone who knows a couple so well is given the honor of marrying them.  

After the ceremony, we enjoyed a brunch overlooking the lake and then mingled with family, played yard games and had a little too much fun with the DIY photo booth Danielle had set up.  There have to be at least 100 photos of Oliver and his cousins stored on that iPad!

A morning wedding ceremony and mid-day reception meant that we actually left at a decent hour and got our kids to bed on time, something they desperately needed after our busy weekend.  We were up early the next morning to pack and back in St. Paul by lunchtime.  We had to do a quick turnaround, because bright and early the next morning, we were off on our next adventure - North Dakota!