2012 - A Year in Facebook Status Updates

January 5

To my friends living abroad where it's already January 6, thanks for the early (for me) birthday wishes!

January 6

Plucked a few extra gray hairs this morning while doing my hair (but still didn't get them all)...33, I'm ready.

January 7

Chipping away at that 2012 deductible. Urgent Care visit for a double ear infection and pink eye in both eyes (Oliver) and $80+ in antibiotics.

January 18

Must get off Pinterest and get ready for work, must get off Pinterest and get ready for work. Why is that site so addicting?!

January 18

Must stop playing with the baby and get ready for work, must stop playing with the baby and get ready for work. Now why is the baby so addicting? :)

January 23

Twin Cities residents, how are the roads and traffic this morning? Particularly I-94?

February 11

I gave a lesson in the basics of baking this evening to a two-year-old....and a 29-year-old. Ten minutes until we see how their banana bread turned out.

February 26

We'll see if that was enough of a nap to go Rock the Cradle.

March 3

This is why I’m so tired all the time.

 

 

March 16

In Minnesota you can't officially welcome spring until at least April, but after the sunny, warm weather we've had the past couple of days, I'm going to be really upset if it manages to snow at all in the next couple of weeks. We went out to eat tonight and the restaurant had to switch on the air conditioning. This weather is unreal.

 

April 5

I'm embarrassed by how much we're packing for a four-day trip, especially when two in our party are under 30 pounds. I can't wait until the kids are old enough to pack and carry their own stuff.

 

April 28

Spending Saturday night with Chris and a bottle of wine while we plan a trip to NYC.

 

April 29

Chris suggested I might as well take advantage of being up at 4 or 5 a.m. every morning and get a paper route and make some extra money. Instead, I'm giving the sleep training another go.

 

May 9

I'm very disappointed to hear the news out of North Carolina.

 

May 9

After a long time off, I'll be back on the soccer field tonight. I'll miss playing for Hansa, but do look forward to playing for the first time with Fuego. Thanks for inviting me to play Sarah Roberts Delacueva!

 

May 12

Gorgeous day for the farmers' market and gardening. Our yard is on the way to getting some color!

 

May 30

You know I can't resist dogs, especially ones who support equality.

 

 

 

June 7

Twice in the last week someone has commented on my Minnesota accent....

 

June 16

We're going to try to go strawberry picking before the storms come. Even if it rains, a rainy afternoon will the perfect excuse to stay indoors and try my first attempt at making strawberry jam.

 

June 27

Proud owner of a new Camry!

 

July 2

Not a bad job with my first time trimming a squirmy toddler's hair. Just ignore the really short spot on the back of his head.

 

July 4

Minnesota folks...Does anyone happen to know if the tornado sirens still go off if the first Wednesday of the month is a holiday? I'm assuming so, but I'm trying to figure out my strategy for nap time.

 

July 6

Chris and I decided we can officially call Soren a crawler.

 

July 7

Hey fellow parents, how would you respond to the prospective nanny who inquiries in her intro e-mail whether my house is kid-friendly and neat and organized?

 

July 15

Oliver knows how to take his diaper off. Awesome.

 

July 21

Six hours with no kids or husband. What to do, what to do?

 

August 17

Good friends, wine and dessert on the candle-lit porch on a cool summer evening makes me happy. A little tipsy, but happy.

 

August 22

St. Paul ECFE families - Do you know when we're supposed to hear about fall ECFE classes?

 

August 28

 My little brother is getting married!  (She Said Yes YouTube link)

 

September 13

Chris and I are taking a (kid-free!) trip to New York City. Any suggestions of what to see?

 

September 23

Does someone in the St. Paul area have a glass cake stand I could borrow for Oliver's third birthday party? Thanks!

 

September 29

This little guy turns three today!

 

 

 

October 7
"Same-sex unions may not affect my marriage specifically, but it will affect my children -- the next generation." Funny how I've been saying the same thing, Mr. Birk, about this amendment. You see, I worry about the kids too, but clearly ...

for different reasons. I do not know whether Oliver or Soren or any of my friends' kids are gay or straight (or something else). My marriage may be technically unaffected by the passage of this amendment, but how will I face the next generation if some of them will be permitted to marry and others will October 28

How did I get through Target this morning without running into a single person I know? KM Bub and Charles Gordon, where were you?

October 30

I knew the kids sleeping in and letting me get ready for work in peace had to be too good to be true. Oliver threw up and Soren climbed/fell out of his crib.

October 31

November 4

Clothes washed, trash taken out, floors mopped, kids bathed - I think I can say we're officially recovered from the great potty training fail of 2012. Why is my husband always out of town when there is a bodily fluid mishap with the kids?

November 5

I'm voting no tomorrow for these two little guys. Whoever they love when they grow up, I want them to have the same rights their father and I have. Why would I want anything less for my children?

1.    

November 6

It was an emotional evening for me, but I'm going to bed happy and I remain optomistic that Minnesota's two constitutional amendments will be defeated.

November 7

Proud to call myself a Minnesotan.

November 18

Oliver went to his two-year-old friend's birthday party today and came home wearing her pants. I hope the string of accidents he's had lately isn't a sign of potty-training regression.

December 15

Can't remember the last time I was out past midnight let alone LEAVING at midnight to go out...

December 28

Teaching my Grandmother to use the laptop she got for Christmas. It's requiring patience on both our parts. Christopher Chesla, if you eventually receive an e-mail from her, that means she's passed the test!

December 31

It's ironic that on the biggest party night of the year, I had to head home when most people were going out. However, two munchkins stayed out as late as they could before their bed/crib were calling their names.

Christmas

It was another exhausting Christmas, as I guess it is with kids and will be so for years to come.  But busy in a good way, because the busyness stemmed from all we wanted to do with or for our kids and family and they are what bring a renewed joy and excitement to the Christmas season, so the craziness is worth it.  And I recognize that this was my first Christmas as a working mom and I think I'll have a better idea next year of how to pace myself so that the shopping, baking and activities take place at a more reasonable pace.  Given how we flew by the seat of our pants this season, Our nanny was a huge help, as she grocery-shopped for us, kept the house tidy, and engaged the kids in a month of various Christmas activities that built on what we were doing with them on the weekend.  This Christmas was also especially busy too since Chris was finishing up his last semester of grad school and preparing for a January term class (his true grad school finale) and I happened to be busier at work than is typical for this time of year.  So yes, I was tired, but happy.

The climax of the Christmas season for Chris's family is the gathering of his dad's side of the family on Christmas Eve, which we spent at his Uncle Pat's new place with about 30 other relatives.  The scene was as I had always imagined a holiday gathering would look like for a big extended family.  Tons of food, little kids running around, the loud chatter of multiple conversations going as everyone catches up, boisterous laughing as relatives reminisce about themselves or family members in much younger days.  It was such a warm, welcoming and loving scene.  Unfortunately, Soren refused to sleep, and Oliver was often "squirelly" as the night wore on and both kids ended up going to bed, oh, three or four hours past their bedtime.  But what can you do when it's the only time we have to spend with some of these relatives?

Luckily Christmas morning was very laid-back.  The pace of the morning defined the reason Chris and I make it a priority to have the kids wake up in their own beds on Christmas morning and then spend as much of the day as possible at home.  After a breakfast of home made blueberry waffles - Oliver's favorite breakfast lately - we spent a leisurely, pajama-clad entire morning in a cycle of open a gift, play with it, open another eventually.  With the high energy, chocolate-fueled evening from the night before, I appreciated being able to give my kids downtime with just Mom and Dad.  After nap on Christmas morning, we were off to the grandparents' house where we again kept the kids up way past their bedtime, although not as late as the night before.

But that Christmas morning we at least had no agenda.  The kids enjoyed playing with all their new trucks and construction vehicles and puzzle and Oliver took pictures with his new camera, a hand-me-down 7-mega-pixel point-and-shoot Pentax from his Uncle Scott.

Chris had gotten me a gift that came with no gift wrap, but made me feel so well cared for.  He set up Dropbox for me so I can back up all the pictures and videos I've taken of our family over the years.  And he not only took the initiative to start the process of figuring out the best way to back up our digital history, but he started what would be a two-day process to copy everything to the online server.  He then configured Dropbox to automatically copy once a day any new pictures or videos saved on my computer.  But the real thoughtfulness behind his gift is not just that all my digital memories or now saved, but that he did everything for me.  The nagging worry that grew every time I heard about a theft in the neighborhood or a lost iPhone, or the frustration I felt for not doing something I knew I'd instantly regret once it was too late, all those feelings vanished.

How to Handle Santa Claus

I so clearly remember the magic of believing in Santa Claus.  One Christmas I woke up in the early hours of the morning to the sound of what I was convinced were reindeer lifting off from the roof our little ranch house in Medford, N.J.  When I saw the presents under the tree and in our stockings, I knew I had not imagined it.  I had always assumed I'd want to pass along the magic of Santa Claus, but since having kids, I started to question how create the magic without lying and trying to keep up a story that will inevitably be exposed.

Keeping up the charade of Santa Claus seems like a lot of work, especially for something you know they're going to learn the truth about eventually.  And you're constantly changing your story.  First you tell them the Santa you're taking them to see is the real deal, but then when they see Santa everywhere else they go, or start to question why they're seeing Santa anywhere at all before Christmas, you find yourself admitting that the guy whose lap they just sat on is actually just pretending to be Santa because the real Santa is so busy up at the North Pole making toys.  Or whatever convoluted story you find yourself making up on the spot.  While I definitely tell my kids a lot of little white lies, (especially if it means they'll quit whining) the subject of Santa seems like a lot of lies.

Even if you don't have a moral objection to lying about something as innocent as Santa Claus, the "if you're naughty" threat does go against one of my parenting philosophies and that is avoiding empty threats.  Something every child expert will tell you is not to issue a threat you can't or won't follow through with.  My kids may drive me nuts sometimes, but they'll never actually get coal in their stockings. 

The question I dread the most surrounding Santa Claus is why he brings some kids gifts and not others, even if they've been good.  There is no good explanation for why "Santa" doesn't bring gifts to poor children, other than the simple truth. 

I was one of those kids who probably believed in Santa Claus way longer than my peers. Or maybe I just happily skipped believing the truth. I asked my mom at one point whether Santa Claus was real and she managed to answer without answering at all by telling me that he's real as long as I continue to believe so in my heart. I don't know when I stopped believing in Santa Claus, but since I'd never been told flat out that he was completely made up, I gradually grew away from believing in the myth. 

As a parent, I'm trying to figure out the right balance for addressing Santa Claus.  I want my kids to believe in Santa, not as a real person, but as a mythical figure who represents the magic and fun of Christmas.  I believe that Christmas can still be special for kids even if they think of Santa as a big game we play every year.  And just as I don't feel the need to go out of my way to get my kids to believe in Santa Claus, I also haven't yet made any attempts to dispel the myth.  Like my mom, I guess I'll just step back and let my kids decide for themselves.   

Soren Update: 14 Months

Soren is cruising around on two feet and I'm amazed at how quickly he's gotten steadier and fast.  Crawling is still his primary mode of transportation, but in the last few days he finally learned to get from a crawling position to a standing position without pulling himself up on anything, so he often stops crawling and pops up on two legs and continues on. 

He's said his first word - bye.  Well, his first word beyond "mama" or "dada," and he pronounces it "buh," but when he crawls to the window to watch the nanny leave and waves "Buh!" we know he knows what he's saying. He's still pointing at everything, and even though we don't know if he's pointing for the sake of pointing or because he's interested in something, we'll happily repeat word after word for him in hopes he'll start picking up more words.

As Soren learned to crawl, then to walk, and as he got bigger, he's become more aggressive. And bold with Oliver.  I'm sure this is frustrating for Oliver, as we've drilled it into him to be gentle with his brother, but for his part, he is playing a lot more nicely with Soren lately.  They still require a lot of supervision, mediation and constant reminders to play gently with each other, but despite this, it warms my heart when I witness them playing happily together.

Soren is our mostly fearless child, but he has things he's absolutely terrified of.  The growing list includes Santa Claus, bubble wrap and dogs.  There happened to be a Santa at the place we picked out our Christmas tree and I thought it'd be fun to have the kids pose with him, but Oliver wouldn't come closer than 10 feet even though he was otherwise interested in chatting with Santa.  Soren was fine looking at Santa from the security of my arms, but when I tried to hand him over for the photo-op, he screamed and shook with a terror I'd never experienced with him before.

Another Anniversary

A link to a song my brother posted on his Facebook page popped up on my news feed and it actually took me a moment to figure out why he had posted a song called Tell My Mother I Miss Her So and why now.  And then the sadness and guilt washed over me as I realized I had forgotten that today is the anniversary of my mom's death. 

I used to dread this time of year.  Another year would roll by and as December approached, I would assume this anniversary would be easier, and it was.  Grief consumed me for fewer and fewer days each year.  But December 11 still couldn't come and go without an emotional panic, even if it was a very private one.  And then this year I just forgot. 

I happened to see my brother's post right before I put Soren to bed tonight.  He's so sweet at bedtime. He quietly sucks on his pacifier while I change him into his pajamas and sleepsack.  On the best nights, he'll nuzzle with me before trying to climb out of my arms and into his crib.  And tonight I just couldn't let go of him.  I kissed him and caressed his fuzzy head and he started laughing.  He was so happy about nothing in particular other than that his mommy was rocking him and he got to hold his stuffed monkey.   

Parenthood has allowed me to continue to get to know my mother even though she's no longer around.  Whatever emotion I feel - happiness, frustration, love or anger - I think about how my mom must have experienced the same emotions under similar circumstances with my brother and me.  So as I held Soren tonight and listened to him laugh, I knew that the intense love I feel for my children, a complexity of love I couldn't have envisioned before having children of my own, must be the same love my mom felt for my brother and me. 

Sledding

I'm exhausting myself trying to keep my head above water.  I knew it was going to be busy with the holidays coinciding with the end of the semester for Chris and a major project at work finishing the week before Christmas.  I like when life is busy, but it's a shame I can't fit everything I want to do into the time I have.  Heck, I've barely had time in the past few weeks to do the things I have to do, like grocery shop, cook and laundry. 

Life is good, but I needed a day, particularly a weekend day, like yesterday, when we were forced to stay home.  It snowed and snowed and snowed.  I assumed we'd get the lower end of the projected 3-6 inches, because we're never that lucky, but beautiful flakes fell all day and by bedtime, we'd received nearly a foot of snow.  With little wind and heavy snow followed by bitter temperatures, globs of snow stuck to every branch, snow stacked up on railings and roof lines and the side streets stayed covered in snow for one of the prettiest city snow scenes I can remember. 

Over the past few weeks I've felt like I didn't have a minute to waste, so to throw all tightly orchestrated plans out the window never seemed like an option.  Weekends end up being especially difficult because I feel like if I have a whole 48 hours off, I have to accomplish everything I don't have time for during the week.  By the time I made the decision that I shouldn't drive anywhere in the snow unless I absolutely needed to, I was disappointed I had to call off a long-planned afternoon with friends, but I also couldn't be distracted with grocery shopping or other errands. 

Oliver was so excited to go outside and the two of us walked over to the park in the morning when the amount of snow on the ground was still manageable.  The park takes up two city blocks and half of it consists of ball fields.  Oliver doesn't appreciate it yet, but that's a heck of a lot of open space full of snow he and his friends will eventually have free range of.  Even as an adult, one of my favorite parts of a fresh snowfall is to be the first one to make tracks in the snow.  So without any destination or agenda, Oliver and I tromped around the park and got to make those first tracks.

After naptime, Chris and I spent at least a half an hour getting ourselves and the kids ready to go outside again.  I had predicted that after all the effort to be snow-ready - the long underwear, the snowpants, the boots, the hats, the gloves, the winter coat - Soren was going to last five minutes outside.  To my surprise, wearing snowpants, boats and a thick coat didn't phase him.  The only time he fussed was when I tried to put gloves on him. 

Outside, I plunked Soren down on the sidewalk Chris had just reshoveled and he just stood there, presumably taking in how different our yard and street looked.  Eventually he gave it a try walking in all his gear and made it over to a snowpile, where he learned the same harsh lesson Oliver did two years earlier - if you lean on a snowpile, you will fall in.  He shrieked until we pulled him out of the snow, dusted him off and right him again. 

Wanting to take advantage of the remaining daylight, we eventually trekked to the park.  At this point in the day, the snow accumulation had made walking cumbersome.  We tried pulling the kids in their sleds, but the lightweight plastic sleds we have tipped too easily, so we ended up carrying them and our sleds.  But the trek was worth it.  The kids loved their first time sledding!   

Ever since I had kids, snow wasn't something I looked forward to because it makes getting out of the house with kids that much more challenging.  But yesterday's snowfall ended up being a blessing because it gave me more time with my kids and husband.

We Have a Walker

I'm ready to call it, we have a walker.  Soren has been taking steps for a month now, but it's always been with a lot of encouragement, usually in the form of Chris or I plopping Soren down on his feet, scurrying a few feet a way and then calling to him with outstretched arms to "Come to Mommy!" or "Come to Daddy!"  He was taking more and more steps each day, and then he got an ear infection and experienced a side effect similar to having motion sickness.  Not surprisingly, he did nothing but crawl for nearly two weeks.   

Soren eventually got his land legs back and within the last few days, it's like the lightbulb went off in his head that he does know how to walk.  I'll be not paying attention to what he's doing and then I'll notice him out of the corner of my eye letting go of whatever he's holding onto and making a slow, steady walk towards something - a door, chair, wall - a few feet away.  It's as if he's saying to himself, "Okay, this time I'm going to try to make it all the way to dining room table."  It's neat to watch how determined he is.